


The Adventures of a Bishoujo Heroine

by shizuumi151



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Swearing, Will add tags as characters/pairings come along, also MIGHT include soumako just because I can, just a lil, shoujo!AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-02-10 10:25:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 59,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2021466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shizuumi151/pseuds/shizuumi151
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin deserves to be the bishoujo heroine of a lengthy and probably cheesy BL manga with Haru as the cool, elusive love interest in a school which isn't Iwatobi High or Samezuka Academy but some unspecific AU school. </p><p>But since I can't draw, let's see if this'll do instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 000

This is how I—oh wait…I have to introduce myself first, don’t I…?

Can’t be helped, I guess.

My name is Matsuoka Rin, and I’m now a second year. I’ve a girly name, but I’m a guy. What people recognise about me first are that my hair and eyes are both red, and I have teeth like a shark— _I dunno_ , they just grew like that, _okay_ …?!

Sorry. Anyway…

I’m a member of my school’s swim team. I train regularly to become an Olympic swimmer, so my hobbies include exercising and weightlifting, but I don’t slack off on my studies either. Hmm…I guess if I had a motto, it’d be ‘never half-ass anything’.

What else…? Though I came back to Iwatobi last year for high school, I studied abroad in Australia to improve my swimming. Because of that, I’m fluent in English and I often like to eat Western cuisine, though Japanese is good too. I like meat, kimchi, or spicy foods in general—sweet stuff isn’t for me. And I guess I like to shop from time to time as well, for whatever looks nice. Though I guess I do care about my looks—self-presentation’s important, after all.

—Oh, and I’m _not_ a crybaby! People keep telling me not to cry when I’m perfectly _fine_. I’m just… _sensitive_ sometimes, that’s all!

Also…I’m a bit of a romantic. I’ll admit that much.

That’s enough for an introduction. Now that you know who I am…I’ll start properly—but I’m gonna tell you now, I might be shit at telling stories. Might be, because I’ve never told one before. So here goes…

This is how I fell in love with a guy called Nanase Haruka.


	2. Chapter 001

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin wakes up early to get to school.

For those of you who don’t know, in Japan school starts in spring instead of autumn. Just to clarify, though the timings are pretty similar to those in Australia.

That’s why you see cherry blossoms in full bloom in slice-of-life, school-based anime. It’s pretty cliché, but it gives a sort of ‘rebirthing’ feeling, reminding you that it’s a fresh start of a new academic year. It’s when this story starts, when I was beginning my second year of high school.

I was at home, where I lived with my mom and sis. I set my alarm so I woke up pretty early on the first day: 6:30 A.M., though sometimes I woke up earlier for my morning jog. Not because it was a long way—I didn’t even have to take a train, it was some fifteen, twenty minute walk—but because we had to unpack in our dorms before orientation. That, and I wanted to try to catch up with Sousuke, but I’ll tell you about him later. All you need to know for now’s that he’s my best friend.

I already laid out my clothes the night before on my desk: a white undershirt with a black gakuran and trousers that I hadn’t worn since last year. It was a typical uniform, but I liked that it fit me nicely—hard to get a well-fitting uniform, y’know.

So after putting on my clothes, I freshened up, and a splash of cool water on my face was enough to wake me up. Truth be told I woke up a little earlier than I had to, since I spent a bit of time in the bathroom after I wake up for school. Just to comb and spritz some deo after the washing face and brushing teeth, especially ‘cause my bangs get extra pissy right after I wake up. Not that it was a bad habit, but I needed to accommodate it.

I already packed everything the day before as well, so after slinging my duffel over my shoulder I was ready to go. It should’ve been pretty heavy from the size, but the stuff in it was light and I didn’t spend my days weight training for nothing.

I came out of my bedroom and headed down the corridor to the living room with a little yawn, considering whether I should get a toast to tide me over until school offered breakfast, but I decided I wasn’t too hungry—extra commotion could’ve meant rousing my mom or sis. I didn’t want to bother them anyway, because they knew I was leaving early. So I tried not to wake them.

“— _Darling_ , are you leaving already?”

— _But_ , that didn’t mean my _mom_ didn’t try.

“Yeah, mom,” I turned, just shy of the doorway where I was toeing on my shoes. “I gotta get there early to unpack.”

My mom was a doting type of mom, which probably goes for most people’s moms. Even though I was a head taller than her and she was pulling over her nightgown across her chest with her hair loose instead of in its usual bun, I still felt she was strong, capable, and protective. The same sort of admiration I held when I was a kid, even if it’s a little less now.

“I know, sweetie, but you haven’t even _eaten_ yet!”

Well, she could be annoying at times, but what’s a son to do?

“It’s fine, I’m not hungry,” I shook my head. “They have breakfast over at school anyway.”

“Sorry, young man, I cannot allow this.”

My shoulders drooped as she scurried off into the kitchen with a huff. My mom babied me a _lot_.

“ _Mom_ —”

“At _least_ a fruit,” she called out, coming back into sight with a cup of water and an apple that was red like her stern gaze. “Your body needs some nutrition in its system after a whole nine hours of going without it. You need to be even more aware of this if you want to become a full-fledged athlete!”

I sighed. “Okay…” I took the apple and the glass, beginning to down it.

“Don’t _choke_ yourself.”

I grumbled into the water as I tipped the cup less, drinking more slowly. I was looking into the glass, but I could tell she was giving me an affectionate mom-look. And I confirmed it when I finished the water with a sigh, handing the glass back to her and pocketing my apple.

“There, hydrated,” I huffed, shuffling my duffel on my shoulder a little more comfortably. “I’ll eat the apple on the way.”

“That’s good— _oh_ , just a _moment_ …” I watched my mom pull the sleeve of her nightgown up so it covered her thumb, and wiped my chin where I noticed some water dripped down. “There we go!” I brushed my mouth with the back of my hand, pouting as my mom started to pat my shoulders. “Ooh, my handsome son, heading off to school again!” she gushed, pulling me down so she could plant a kiss on my cheek. And before I could retort to stop with the pampering, her smile was replaced by a pointed worry. “ _Rin_ , dear, you can’t go to your first day of school with your uniform like _that_!”

“What, this?” I looked down at my uniform. I left the gakuran unbuttoned so my undershirt showed.

“ _Yes_ , this!” my mom gave me a disapproving look before she did the buttons up. “Honestly, first day of school and you want to look like some _hooligan_ in your uniform…!”

“Mom, I don’t look like a hooligan,” I sighed. “No one buttons to the top, and half of them don’t even button any of them.”

“No one or half, you’re going to look _proper_ for your first day,” she insisted, doing up the button below the collar so I already felt suffocated. “You can focus on looking _cool_ when you’ve settled in again.”

I shuddered. “Mom, don’t say that word.”

“—Do you have all your clothes?”

“Yes.”

“—Trinkets?”

“If you mean my bracelets and stuff, yes.”

“—Phone?”

“Charged in pocket.”

“—Wallet?”

“Other pocket.”

“—Toothbrushes?”

Shark-teeth. It was necessary.

“Packed.”

“Spare swimsuits?” she reminded, and I stiffened as she manhandled my collar. “I’m not bringing over any if you rip another one, right down the middle too—”

“— _Mom_ , please!” I hissed in a flush, swatting her hands away. “I packed _everything_ , I _triple_ -checked, I’ll be _fine_.”

I didn’t really mean to sound that…well, _mean_ when I said it. I was just embarrassed over how fussy my mom was being. Though I regretted it after she pulled her hands away, a little downtrodden, so I apologised.

“…Sorry, mom,” I mumbled, looking down at my feet. I _was_ frustrated, but I knew my mom meant well. She just wanted me to be prepared, safe, happy, all that jazz. “…I’ll be fine. Really.”

“I know, sweetie,” she said eventually, pulling me into a hug so I was staring at the cherry blossoms through the balcony past her shoulder. “It’s just going to be lonely without you here, that’s all…”

That made me feel kinda bad.

“You’ll be okay, right?” I asked, pulling back from her hug. “I mean, your back and everything—”

“You don’t worry a tick about me,” she responded firmly, a wide grin stretching her face as she pinched my cheek. “I’ll manage just fine.”

“That’s good,” I said with an honest smile, rubbing where she grabbed my face. “I’ll be back for the weekend.”

“You better, mister.” she joked while standing with arms akimbo, before her face broke out into another smile and she held me tight.

My eyes darted to the clock above the dining table, and I sucked a breath through my teeth. “ _Alright_ , gotta go now!”

“ _Ah_ ah ah!” she grabbed my shoulder before I could slip out of her grip. “Say goodbye to your sister.”

“Mom, _really_?”

“— _Don’t_ think I’ve let you off for practically ignoring her last year!” she spoke up in that brook-none-of-your-shit, mom-tone. “You’re going to go into her room— _quietly_ —and tell her you’re going.”

I latched my hand to my nape, looking away in some shame as she crossed her arms.

“…Alright.”

I let my duffel rest on the floor by the shoes, heading to Gou’s bedroom.

Gou—or Kou, whatever she wants to be called—is my baby sister. Well, she’s no baby now, but she’s younger than me in any case.

Unlike other siblings that I hear about, we’ve a pretty good relationship. We often hang out in the house or go out shopping at times, and chatting with her is always easy. Sousuke’s told me I get overprotective of her, but I think I’m as good as an older brother should be. It’s just that during school I get a little swamped, so I can’t really answer some of her texts…or most…

Yeah, okay, so I didn’t really talk to her when I started high school. But it was better during the summer.

It’s not like I _hated_ her or _wanted_ to ignore her; I just hit a few hurdles with swimming. It was nothing big, but everything else kinda zoned out with my dream to go Olympic as well as managing all my homework.

But, thinking back on it, there’s really no excuse for ignoring your baby sister. So mom was right.

I crept into her room, quietly like my mom had asked me to and out of common sense. Her bedroom was distinctly girlier than mine, with lacy, pastel-coloured drawings and plush dolls around, but it was about as clean as my room. Well, less now, considering I packed nearly everything out.

The top of her bed was by the window, where sunlight seeped through the white curtain. Her quilt rose and fell with her breaths, pulled up so only her resting face and tousled, red hair were visible. People’ve told me that she’s basically a younger, girl me. Sousuke said I was girlier, and I kicked his shin.

I walked over so I blocked out some of the sun, and I gently nudged her shoulder. She roused quite easily, and started to blink at me like a newborn deer.

“…Onii-chan?” she murmured, hushed with sleep.

“Hey, Gou,” I whispered, smiling. “I’m gonna go to school now.”

She blinked again. “Why’s your gakuran all buttoned up?”

“Mom.”

“Ah.”

I was leaning over and a little confused when the top of her quilt shifted about, and chuckled when she stuck out her arms from the hem, still half-asleep. I bent down further and looped my arms between her shoulders and the bed, lifting her slightly.

“Have fun at school.” she mumbled, her quiet yawn loud in my ear.

“Sure,” I murmured, pulling back so Gou could lie back down again. “I’ll text you when I get there.”

Her tired, happy smile was infectious.

“Great…”

She closed her eyes again, rolling to the side a little as I snuck out.

I started to jog when I reached the living room again, and I nodded at my mom’s expectant look. “All good.”

“Good,” she let out an exhale. “Now get going, and remember to eat your apple. I _would_ pick up your bag, but—”

“Yeah, _nope_ , don’t even think about it.” I piped up, slinging my duffel again. “And you better let Gou do the shopping too.”

“ _Rin_ , honey, my back’s getting better—”

“So best let it keep getting better, then.” I retorted, sticking my tongue out when she pouted. I got how my mom felt about not wanting to feel weak, but her back had started hurting with menopause, and I didn’t wanna take any more chances after a trip she took to the hospital a year or so back.

She turned her head to the side and tapped her cheek. I gave her a quick kiss.

“Love you. Call you.”

“Love you too, sweetie,” she mom-sighed at me pulling on my shoes in a little rush. “Be _safe_.”

“I _will_ ,” I son-sighed back, and my hand was on the doorknob before I paused a moment. “You too.”

Finally, I left the house.

I lived on the second floor of our apartment building, so I headed down the staircase while hearing my mom latch the chain lock on the door. Luckily, I wouldn’t even get the chance to miss her or Gou too much from coming back so soon.

I left the gates after greeting the security guard, and the sky was a promising blue as I turned the corner and onto the pavement. I flicked my wrist out to check my watch. Unpacking was at 7:30, and it was a few seconds to 7.

“I got time…” I murmured, pocketing my hand so I thumbed my apple for a couple blocks down the walk.

Yeah, note that I talk to myself at times. It’s normal.

To be honest, I was doing a little acting for the first block or so, because I knew my mom would be out on the balcony watching me go. I pretended to ignore her—not that I didn’t wanna acknowledge her, but other people might’ve seen her wave and say ‘ _have a wonderful first day!_ ’ if I so much as cocked my head back. So naturally, I exercised caution.

But, like a good son, I acted nicely. I didn’t have a slouch anyway, but I made sure my posture was extra proper as I walked with a calm confidence to school. I didn’t have to think so hard about it though—as I said, I’m the type of guy who cares about how I look. S’not a big thing; it’s just how I am.

After I turned the corner a safe four blocks down, I popped the two top buttons open and put down my duffel to unzip it.

Love my mom, but that uniform was _choking_ me.

As for why I unzipped my duffel, I mentioned before it was pretty big (of course it had to be; it had all my shit in it). And actually, it was big enough that—if I slotted it in diagonally—I could fit my skateboard in. Not that my mom didn’t like me skateboarding, but she wouldn’t have let me on the first day of school.

I’d packed it so that I could just take it out without uprooting all of my other stuff. So, quick as a dart, I slipped it out and zipped my duffel again. My board clacked on the pavement, my foot stopping it while I dug out my phone and unlooped the earphones I’d prepared beforehand. It was a sports type of earphone, so I only bothered with hooking one of them around my ear, and tucked the other inside my gakuran. And just because I felt like it, I tied up my hair.

So there I was, ponytailed and uniformed, skating to school listening to J-pop. It took the hassle off walking, and I could think for a while as I hummed to the bridge of the song.

I was pretty well off in school, and probably fortunate that I didn’t suffer from popularity problems or social-hierarchy bullshit. Though I maintained appearances and friends, I found—and do find—swimming much more important.

— _However_ , I _will_ admit I got some sort of fanclub.

I guess it was because I was fit or good-looking, but in my first year I amassed a following of girls. I’d like to think I’m not vain, but I guess I could get it: the new first-year who swims and has ‘ _paa_ fecto’ English. It was definitely weird to have a bunch of seniors as _well_ as classmates _squeal_ over me, but it did boost my self-esteem. I mean, hey, I didn’t need it, but I didn’t mind the attention either.

Sousuke’s got one of his own too, and they often ‘team up’ on the fangirling, I s’pose. I’m not surprised; the dude’s massive. And he gets all calm and soft-spoken around girls, which gets him even more attention, that ass. He swims with me, and we often hung out together in our homeroom, so the girls kinda labelled us as some package deal to admire.

Considering about all that girl-stuff as I was skateboarding the lane ten to fifteen minutes away from school, my mind began to wander about how cool everything looked in that moment.

At the start of school, cherry blossoms were a given, but they always looked really pretty to me. It sounds stupid, I know, but they’re…impressive. Beautiful, even. And their petals look so pink and light against the dark, strong trunks of the tree. Of course, it would look even better if they weren’t peeking over the stone walls of whatever apartment or store was blocking them. I wished I could see the cherry blossoms in their full glory. And, one day, I could watch the cherry blossoms bloom with someone special—y’know, holding hands, eat some ice pops on a uniform date, maybe…

Then I remembered why people labelled me as a romantic.

“Ahh, whatever…”

Yes, I did grumble out loud to no one on the street.

But hey, I reasoned internally, it’s normal to think about that sorta stuff. I had turned sixteen two months ago (February 2nd—spring baby~) and was a healthy, teenage guy. I figured that if a girl mustered the courage to confess to me and was also pretty cute, I definitely wouldn’t mind being in a relationship.

Then again, I couldn’t lose sight of my ambitions either, so I took a mental rain check.

I stopped zoning out just in time for a turn. I propelled my board a little and caught the streetlamp at the corner, pivoting myself so I rolled off in the proper direction.

Then I realised—

“Ah, shit.”

I turned early.

Not that it was a big deal; this detour just meant it was a slightly longer way. I checked my watch again after making the wrong turn, and I still had a good twenty minutes.

“Could wander a bit…”

A little ways in, I realised the street I ended up on led to a little park—green with grass and pink with cherry blossoms. It was still a little early, but there were morning joggers decked out in gear going up and down the paths. I had a routine of doing a mental salute to any jogger I saw—it was probably dumb, but it takes diligence to get or keep in shape, and I would always appreciate that.

I coasted past the park and was about to reach another junction where I could go back on my normal route, but then I saw it. A little gate not fifty metres away, that didn’t have any buildings poking out behind. But it had a clean, well-maintained look to it—not abandoned. Just there.

Needless to say, I checked it out.

My music decided to play some acoustic guitar as I reached the gate. I kicked up my board so I could hold it below my shoulder before I walked in.

Looking around, it was a plain sort of courtyard. The floor was a sandy soil instead of grass, but again, clean. I whistled as I delved a little deeper into this plain non-grassy courtyard, looking around where the sky was growing more radiant with the buildings out of the way.

At that point, I admitted to myself I didn’t wanna go to school. Not just yet.

I _am_ a good student, but as if you’ve never wanted to stall your first day off from the holidays, right?

So, back in the plain-sandy-soil courtyard I am, and I realise mom’s apple’s still bulging my pocket. I take it out while squishing my board between my arm and body, and rub it on the front of my uniform. Mom probably washed it, but better double clean than not.

Rolling the hard apple in my hand, I noticed there was one building just to the left. Or some sort of border for the courtyard, since it was pretty tall and blocked anything that was potentially behind it. Naturally, curiosity moved me to check out what could be potentially behind it. So when I took a bite, I went around the border.

And _that’s_ when I saw it. A sight so great, I nearly dropped my apple.

Smack-bang in the centre of the courtyard was the tallest cherry blossom tree around, its gorgeous flowers nearly taking to the skies. It was immense, yet so intricate. I felt my lungs empty a little when I saw the moving, peaceful sight.

I gave a low whistle. “ _Damn_.”

I mean _shit_ , it was pretty.

I approached closer as I crunched on more of my apple, eventually ending up below the great cherry blossom tree. It was one of those moments where you realise more of everything—where everything becomes more vivid, more memorable. My apple felt sweeter, juicier with each crisp bite. I felt my feet sink a little into the earth with the weight of my duffel and board as I gazed up at the petals dancing down in the breeze. Hell, even my _music_ was peaceful—a tinkling piano with soft, techno undertones in one ear, and the enveloping peace of the courtyard in my other.

I loved that moment.

Then, I heard footsteps. They were soft, but so was the moment they stepped in on.

But I wasn’t a jerk, and it wasn’t like it was my courtyard. I happened to stumble upon it like whoever had come in, which I then decided to see who had come in instead of feel mildly offended.

Tilting my head, I reconsidered whether the guy had walked in, or I missed him standing there the whole time.

The first thing I should’ve noticed was he was wearing the same uniform as me—toting a messenger and sports bag, and black all over, even buttoned the gakuran to the top. Instead, what I saw just before that was the fact he was staring _straight_ at me—like, turn-around-but-realise-there’s-nothing-behind-you type staring.

It might’ve unnerved me, but I ended up staring back as well.

Actually, the thing I noticed straight away with this staring guy was his eyes. I mean—okay, just imagine a really clear, yet deep _blue_. A blue that soothes you, yet keeps you on your toes—keeps you on edge from how calming it looks. It’s like his black fringe parted just to make way for his scarily blue eyes, for the express purpose to stare down and silently judge and analyse.

Call me paranoid, but seeing’s believing.

While I was mentally sizing him up, I think he was…ten—twenty metres away? He was by the cherry blossom tree, close enough for the petals to fall around him, too.

And when I sized him up, I also noticed…how to word this…? He had the kind of face the girls in my class would fall for.

Looking back on it, his expression wasn’t so cutting. He had a light complexion, a small, pursed mouth, and he seemed…curious, I guess? He exuded some strong-and-silent type aura, kind of like Sousuke’s initial vibe—he might be quiet, but he didn’t seem the type you could push around. But it was weird he had that kind of aura, because he wasn’t like Sousuke—he looked about the same height as me. He didn’t look like some weedy kid either—he filled out his uniform decently, like most of my swimming teammates.

It was getting pretty awkward, us staring at each other in an empty courtyard. I swallowed my bite of apple, and spoke up.

“Yo.”

I couldn’t wave—duffel over shoulder, skateboard under other shoulder, apple in hand. Made it difficult. So I did a little nudge of my shoulder as a proxy-wave.

He didn’t respond. We kept staring.

Well, I tried.

Cherry blossoms fell around us. My apple was yellowing.

While considering how blue a guy’s eyes could be—as well as how my earphoned-ear was starting to hurt—I was also pretty confused at that point. What was I supposed to do? Try to strike up conversation again? Keep staring? Ignore him and look at the cherry blossom? Eat my apple? _Leave?_

Then I realised the scene we were in: two people in a seclusive courtyard staring at each other, and a majestic cherry blossom with petals falling between them.

My face felt stupidly warm.

I took a loud bite of my apple, attempting to break the tension, and cool down my stupidly-warm face. Then I started to feel annoyed—what was with this guy, staring at me and making me nervous?

Before I could call him out on it—maybe try to put ‘ _quit staring at me_ ’ nicely—I realised he was moving.

He was walking towards me.

To be clear, I wasn’t scared. He was uniformed, looked my age, and the jogger-occupied-park was less than a hundred metres away. But it was definitely sudden, how he started to move, and got closer and closer to me—not even running, but just walking— _approaching_.

I regretted taking that bite, because at that point my mouth was full of apple—I couldn’t say anything. Preferably call out ‘ _what are you doing_ ’ or ‘ _please stay away_ ’ or even ‘ _I did nothing leave me alone_ ’.

I chewed and swallowed what I could in the timespan of the blue-eyed guy closing the ten-to-twenty metre gap between us. By the time he crossed the two-metre-away line, I managed to clear my mouth and speak.

“ _Oi_ ,” I lifted my arm up as a little block. “What d’you think you’re—”

Even when I had backed away a bit, he put his face a foot away from mine. His big blue eyes went a little less big so close up, and then—

He touched my hair.

I didn’t flinch. I would’ve or could’ve dropped everything I was holding, but on the contrary, I just…froze. Staring the staring, blue-eyed guy in the face, his fingers soft at the top of my head.

If my face was warm before, now it was blazing.

My jaw moved a bit, and I made some sort of noise, but it couldn’t be counted as speech. I was reduced to a confused mess, watching his wrist move out of the corner of my eye while the centre was fixed on his looking at my head with the same, curious look. And before I finally found my words, I felt him draw out some strands of my hair, and hold a lone, cherry blossom petal between his forefinger and thumb. Pink as bubblegum, big as a small Post-it.

“It was in your hair.”

His voice was smooth.

He placed the petal on top of my apple I’d forgotten, so it draped across the stem. Only after he’d turned away and went around the tall border, my features morphed into a slow, abashed frown.

I glared at the petal on my apple.

“The _hell_ was that…?!”

I took angry bites of the apple as I stormed out, and binned the core when I got to the gates. That weird, staring, blue-eyed guy _completely_ ruined the awesome cherry blossom courtyard for me. And whenever cherry blossom petals floated down from over the walls, I just remembered his fingers in my hair with a frustrated blush. Who _actually_ did that? A complete stranger, no less—I couldn’t give a shit he had the same uniform, who the hell ignores personal space to _pick a petal from your hair_ with a straight face?!

“ _Completely_ weird…”

I didn’t see him when I skated the rest of the way to school, and I was glad I didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Rin meets bro-for-life Sousuke to whinge about the weird hair-touching dude.


	3. Chapter 002

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin reunites with Sousuke and falls back into routine on their first day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been only slightly over 24 hours and before that I already found [fanart of the first chapter](http://http://thora-hathi.tumblr.com/post/93108321342/bishoujo-rinharu-okay-i-want-more-of-this-please) ;D; Words cannot express my gratitude <3

When I saw brick foundations lining the smooth pavement and shrubbery pressing through the gaps of the spear, cage-like walls, I knew I’d reached school.

I kicked up my board and settled it beneath my shoulder again—I couldn’t be assed to pack it away. My music was still half-heartedly streaming in my ear, so I plucked the earphone out and draped the wire around my neck so I could wrap it up later. In the final stretch to the gates, I could spot some fluffy clouds tottering over the the horizon, like cottons balls in the perfect blue sky.

But hell if it was a nice day.

Much as I’d like to deny it, my day can be made or broken multiple times by the stupidest things. Like, I could wake up on the wrong side of bed one morning and be the happiest dumbass around if I get steak for lunch. If that makes any sense.

Basically, it’s easy to flip my switch, so I guess I’m kinda sensitive in that regard.

But you had to admit, the scene with the blue-eyed dude would’ve weirded anyone out. It just made me pissed as well.

The top of my head had this annoying, itchy feeling whenever I remembered how he touched my hair—the more I thought about it, the more I swore he just _lingered_ there, just to take the piss outta me. And whenever the spot he touched tingled, I just scrubbed my head with a new vengeance, swearing and muttering while I was at it.

“Stupid, weird, lousy, hair-touching, petal-picking—”

“Ah, Rin.”

I heard a deep, familiar voice, and I stopped trying to rumple the tingle out of my skull.

“Yo, Sousuke!”

The blue-eyed petal guy took a backseat to my welling content, and my scrubbing hand went up in a little wave. Sousuke was at the other end of the pavement, strolling in black uniform with his own duffel. I couldn’t help the smile stretching across my face when he grinned at seeing me.

What can I say about the guy? Yamazaki Sousuke’s been my best friend since grade school, and probably understands me more than anyone. We met in a swim club back in our hometown, and we’ve been through thick and thin ever since. Though being the guy’s friend isn’t a cakewalk all the time—we got into fights about swimming, especially relays, ‘cause Sousuke’s even more of a theory freak than I am. But it’s usually just swimming stuff we used to argue about—we’ve worked past it now, and a couple of spats is nothing to our friendship.

Sometimes, we get each other to the point where talking’s a moot point, especially on the serious stuff. Though in general it’s pretty comfortable—we can tell each other anything and there’s no judgement. But damn if he’s never set my stupid ass in line on more than one occasion—he’s the kind of friend that’s cool enough to respectfully listen to your idea, and smart enough to go ‘ _okay there are three thousand reasons why you shouldn’t do that_ ’ if he needs to.

Though with Sousuke, either he’s got his shit together (i.e. most days) or he feels like acting a little dumb (i.e. funny days). I still find it hilarious that girls flock over to him and he acts all cool and charming while I was with him when his dumb ass spilt catnip all over in a pet store. And this was _two months_ ago—he looked like a puppy that got yelled at for pissing the carpet for days. And most of the time, he’s a distant sort of polite to his fangirls, which makes sense—on his pretty rare, ‘fuck it I feel good’ days he actually lets them _feel_ his biceps—I’m not kidding on this, he gets so embarrassed when I mimic him offering ‘ _tickets to the gun show_ ’.

I mentioned he had his own following, and when you see him you pretty much figure out why. He’s got black hair ( _charcoal grey_ as one of his fans put it) that keeps this nice, spiky look to it, unlike mine which I gotta manage and tie up to make it look okay. He also has these droopy, blue-green-teal-whatever eyes that’s apparently a hit with the ladies (I’ve overheard debates between the girls about this, and they get pretty serious—I measure about a two-metre blast radius from their discussions). And I’ve been told he looks scary since he always seems really serious, which to me makes no sense. It takes, like, a half-a-second greeting and he’s instantly all smiles.

And shit, he used to be skinny as hell back in the day, then puberty kicked him upside the head—I had to double-take when we reunited after I came back from Australia. Now he’s the biggest dude on the swim team, like strike-fear-slash-arousal-into-the-hearts-of-normal-sized-people type of big. If I didn’t work out everyday to get a decent set of my own muscles, I’d sure as hell be jealous.

But I don’t let him get past me on anything—it’s dumb, but two competitive guys like us often get lost in the testosterone. This I’ll demonstrate later.

We naturally slowed in front of the school gates, and after a few slaps and bumps of our handshake we were in sync again.

“How was Sano?” I asked, already relaxed as I pocketed my hands. Sano’s our hometown; he’d gone for the last couple of weeks of vacation to catch up with relatives.

“Good. Family’s fine,” he shrugged, nudging his head towards the school so we could head in together. “Swim club’s still up and running, but there aren’t many people there.”

“Well, it figures,” I sighed. Swimming wasn’t really popular back there. “But at least it’s still open.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and we reached the security guard booth, next to which were a few tables where we had to sign in. “Tell me you got 203.” he said before leaning over to the guard who eventually gave him a key. Dorm numbers.

I lit up. “ _Shit_ , Sousuke, we’re roomin’ this year!”

“Awesome,” he smiled as he penned both our names on the nearly empty log sheet. Dropping the pen back onto the clipboard, he shot a glance towards my head. “By the way, your hair’s messed up.”

“ _Jesus_ …” I matted my bangs, frustration rolling back as we fell into step for the residential blocks. “Spent this morning tryna tame it, too…”

“Clawing your head couldn’t’ve helped,” he looked ahead again. “Mind telling what’s up?”

“It was so weird,” I breathed out a long sigh, my board still snug against my side as I began to make gestures. “Okay, so I skate to school, took a wrong turn, and end up in this courtyard past the park, right?”

“Right.”

“And then I see the _hugest_ cherry blossom tree around and petals are fallin’ everywhere—”

“That must’ve been exciting.”

“Yeah, it was fuckin’ awesome, but then— _then_ —” I look to Sousuke at this point, making sure to prepare for the unbelievable weirdness I’m about to spring on him. “This _guy_ …” I made some circular motion with my hands. “ _Appears_.”

Sousuke’s brow raised. “Weird.”

“Not even the worst of it, he _comes up_ —” I went up ahead so I was front of Sousuke, walking backwards as I retold my trauma. “—In my face, not giving a shit, and just—” I grabbed my bangs, and made an exaggerated pluck with my fingers. “ _Picks_ a cherry blossom petal. From my hair. Then _walks_ off.”

I put both hands up as if to share my disbelief, and Sousuke gave an impressed sort of frown.

“…Huh.”

“Yeah, I know, right?” I ranted, huffing righteously as I walked beside Sousuke again. “Weirdest thing. Hell, first thing I noticed was—”

His eyes flashed a clear blue.

I paused. Sousuke noticed. “Yeah?”

“—First thing I noticed was his clothes,” I restarted quickly as if nothing happened, brushing off Sousuke’s frown. “The guy wore the same uniform as us—hell, even buttoned up to the top. Surprised he could even _breathe_ with that getup—actually, dunno why I figured this just now, he might go to the same school as us. He might even be in our year—he looked about our age. Dunno if I’d like that guy around though, he seemed like a quiet kind of dude—reserved’s the word. Like the sit-at-the-back-watch-everything kind of guy. That’d be weird-as, right?”

I turned to Sousuke expecting a response along the lines of validation or assent. Instead, he was giving me…a look. Like a tiny squint.

“Yo, what’s up?” I asked, cocking a brow as we reached the staircase to the dorms.

He kept having that look, but he headed up the stairs before he spoke up.

“You’d tell me if you were gay, yeah?”

There wasn’t any tone to it—kind of like if I went for a vending machine and he’d ask if I’d get a soda for him too.

That didn’t mean I was like ‘ _yeah sure, what flavour_ ’ about it. In fact, I think I kinda forgot how to walk for a moment.

“Wh- _Wh_ —?!” I sprinted up the steps so I could goggle his indifferent face. “— _Sousuke_ , what the hell?!” I nearly squawked, and was generally a spluttering mess. My feet were going up the steps mechanically at this point, so I could maintain one-sidedly bewildered eye contact.

“I’m just sayin’, man,” he shrugged, putting his hands up in defence. “Last time I heard you talk like that was when you got your first chocolate on Valentine’s.”

“Okay, that chocolate was way too sweet, and _I’m not gay_!” I blustered, and I was pretty grateful no one else was in the corridor we were going down. “Not that bein’ gay’s a bad thing, but I’m just not!”

“Sure, okay.”

“— _Whaddaya mean_ ‘sure, okay’ _?!!_ ” I asked in a totally justified volume. “Look, the guy—out of nowhere!—picked a petal out of my hair!” I explained again, making sure Sousuke got it while he went about unlocking our new dorm. “The situation might’ve been gay, but _I_ am not!”

“Yeah,” he nodded shortly, and he entered the room first. “What colour were his eyes?”

“Blue, kinda deep-ish,” I entered after him, counting the bunks, desks and bookshelves. “I dunno, like Pocket Sweat, but lighter? I’d say the sea, but that wouldn’t really match.”

“Mm,” he closed the door and scanned the dorm’s space. “Hair?”

“Black—some windswept fringe thing goin’ on,” I recounted, mentally approving of the view of the campus the dorm offered.

“Right. Anything else?”

“Brown bag,” I went up to the window, nearly pressing up as cherry blossoms bordered the gate. “Messenger.”

“Shoulder?”

“My left, which would’ve been his…right?” I tilted my head before nodding. “Yeah, his right.”

“Call me for the wedding; I wanna be best man.”

“Fuck you,” I grumbled and tossed my board at him. “I’ve an eye for details.”

“A guy can joke,” he caught it easily, and set it at one of the two desks while I took my earphones off from my neck. “Who’s taking bottom bunk?”

“Oh, right,” I clicked my tongue as I set my duffel on my new chair, scratching my head a bit when I faced him again. “Forgot you like bottom too.”

“I’m blindsiding that for both our sakes.” he rolled his shoulder as I gave a cheeky grin.

“Whoops.” I laughed off the embarrassing remark pretty easily and cracked my knuckles. It was time for a showdown, after all.

About the competitive testosterone stuff I mentioned earlier: Sousuke and I are pretty similar, which goes for stuff we like like food or flavours. And, in the moments when our aligned interests and amount of resources conflict, we seek the timeless, fail-safe approach—a showdown with losers weepers.

“ _Rock, paper, scissors! One more…!_ ”

I didn’t know it was possible to suck at rock paper scissors, but Sousuke _sucks_ at rock paper scissors.

It was around quarter to eight when we started to unpack, and pretty soon the floor and desks were slowly piling with books.

“Hey, Rin,” Sousuke leaned over from the top bunk. “You know how long’s orientation gonna be?”

“Dunno—twenty minutes, tops?” I guessed, cross-legged on bottom bunk and fluffing up my pillow I’d packed. I couldn’t sleep without it. “But I think we get breakfast first.”

“I’m pretty sure there isn’t any today,” he hummed, arranging his quilt on top. “It might be open for lunch.”

“Here’s hopin’ I hold out till lunch, then,” I huffed, inwardly thanking mom for the apple. “Though I’m more interested in what homeroom we’re gonna end up in.”

“Ohh, that’s right,” he climbed down, hopping off the bottom rung to pick up a shirt he’d left on the ground. “We might end up in different homerooms this year.”

“That’d suck,” I gave a little frown. “How’m’I gonna deal with the horde if you’re not around?”

“Be strong,” he moved his duffel and started to unload his clothes into the closet. “Endurance is key.”

“Well, yeah,” I got to my feet, scratching my undershirt a bit as I gazed out at the cherry blossoms again. “But don’t jinx it.”

* * *

“You ass, you jinxed it.”

I groused at the homeroom sheets on the bulletin board we’d waited a couple of minutes to check out. I got 2A, and Sousuke got 2B.

“At least we’ve the same dorm.” he reasoned, which did make the separation feel better.

“That’s true,” I rubbed my nape a little, sniffing as we started to head up to class like we were instructed to. “Plus we’ll have swim practice. When’s sign-up?”

“They said Monday next week,” Sousuke said, yawning a bit so he looked like a sleepy bear. “Till then the third-years are gonna go around promoting the clubs.”

“Alright,” my shoulders fell out of relaxation. “Been working out?”

He shrugged. “Weights. Butterfly. You?”

“Running, too.”

He clicked his tongue. “Oughta do that.”

“Endurance _is_ key.”

“I’ll run with you sometime.”

“Ace.”

In the distance, I heard a rising shrill. We both pulled a face.

“ _Incoming_.”

We both said it, but it didn’t matter. A group of seifuku-clad girls approached in a flock, drawing attention from the other students dispersing from the schoolyard to their classrooms. We fell into routine, our postures slightly slackening as they giggled while proceeding.

“Matsuoka-kun, Yamazaki-kun!” they crooned as they came along. I recognised a couple of faces as girls in my year, while some new faces hid behind them bashfully. First-years, by the looks of their ties.

“Hey ladies.” I greeted first, a practiced smile easing across my face. The giggles increased, and the first years started to flush.

“Hey,” Sousuke chimed in, quieter than usual. “How’re you girls doing?”

“We’re doing great, Yamazaki-kun!” one spoke up, leaving the others to titter to themselves. She was Fujioka, I think—I kinda forgot. “Orientation was pretty boring, though~” the girls hummed in a collective agreement, though I actually agreed.

“Yeah, it was a drag,” he gave an understanding smirk (they _swooned_ , the absolute ass). “We’re in the same homeroom this year, aren’t we, Fujioka-san?”

“Y-Yes, I think so!” she piped up, beaming like the sun. The homeroom lists had everyone’s names, obviously. 2A had mostly familiar ones, though I think a new girl was joining. Personally, I just did an inner cheer for remembering Fujioka’s name.

“Matsuoka-kun,” another cut in, it was…Hana…no, Himura. “Are…you going to be in the swim club this year?”

“Definitely!” I announced confidently at their pleased sighs. “I wouldn’t dream of not signing up.”

“That’s good,” she said, fiddling with her fingers. “I think…I’m interested in joining the girl’s team.”

My eyes widened a bit in curiosity. “Oh? That’s awesome, Himura-san,” I grinned. “Tell me how it goes!”

“Would you maybe help her?” her friend broke in, and there were breaths drawn all round. I just ruffled my ponytail, giving an awkward chuckle before cracking an eye open.

“Mm…why not?” I shrugged, digging my hands in my pockets again. “If I’m not busy, I’ll try to help out,” I did mean it; if anyone had struggles with swimming I’d even offer help. Though she was a girl, so naturally it was a little more awkward, but swimming was same for all genders. “If you wanna go for the swim team, I’ll definitely support you, Himura-san.” I reassured, giving a more genuine smile.

Himura’s face bloomed into a potent blush. The girls around her started to gasp excitedly, almost jostling her around.

“—Yamazaki-kun, we’d like you to meet our friend!”

I glanced over to where a first-year was practically shoved into Sousuke’s vision. She was a little short, so next to Sousuke she was completely dwarfed.

“Hey there,” he smiled down at her. I could tell he was a little sympathetic from the girl’s friends’ eagerness. “What’s your name?”

She fiddled with her glasses. “Mizushima…Shizuka,” she murmured, nodding her head. “It’s nice to meet you, Yamazaki-kun.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mizushima-san.” he nodded back, and not before long the girls were whispering praise to Mizushima for a job well done.

“Oh,” I spoke up as I noticed less and less students were around. “I think we gotta get to class.”

And that was the general tune for the next five minutes in the building and up the stairs. They latched on a bit while we went to homeroom—hell, they even offered us gifts. One gave me a bracelet with a rock guitar charm (which, I had to admit, _did_ look pretty cool) and Sousuke—shit, Sousuke got a _bento_. My stomach tried not to cry as he blinked at the girl blushing up a storm, giving her a green-and-white polka-dotted wrapped, probably beautiful bento. It was a shocker, but at that point I got a little more hungry than my sense of romance could afford.

“I’ll share some later,” he promised after the crowd dispersed. “It looked like she spent a long time on it.”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t be able to eat in class anyway,” I told him. The headers above the wooden door said ‘2A’, and the door past the frosted glass along the line said ‘2B’. At least he was only a class over. “See you at lunch.”

“Yeah.”

We fist bumped, and I went into class 2A.

Fortunately, I didn’t get swamped by any more girls—they just whispered amongst themselves when I entered the room. I used to feel more self-conscious about their attention, but after a year I’d gotten used to it, so it didn’t matter that they didn’t let up even after the holidays.

Even better, my favourite seat wasn’t taken. I liked the window seat a bit near the back, since the view there was best. I could see all the cherry blossoms as I settled there, my peace coming back from just gazing out.

I guess I didn’t dedicate much time to describe my school—it was boarding, as I’d said before. The dorm blocks for the boys and girls were separate, as well as separate to the building where the schooling actually took place. So it basically operated like a regular high school, except the students would head back for the blocks instead of out the gates for home. Though weekend leave was available, which I was going to use this week to see—

“ _Oh_ , right.” I had to text Gou.

I brought out my phone and unwrapped the earphones again. Out of safety measures against the girls loitering near my desk, I hooked one around my ear and put my music on shuffle so a soft bass played. Then I launched messages and sent Gou a quick text.

> got here on time, unpacked and class is starting in a mo

I finished clicking the keys and pressed send. I paused while reading it over, and decided to add another message.

> have fun at school :) love you

That made it better. I sent it off with a satisfied click.

There was a few minutes left until class started, which left enough time for me to redundantly check my messages. As popular as I seemed, I really only texted with either Gou or Sousuke, but even then I didn’t use my phone so much aside from music. The girls definitely had bursts of courage, but none of them had my phone number. Yet, at least.

Thinking about it reminded me of relationships, and I did a covert scan of the classroom.

Guys and girls were sitting on or at desks, chatting with each other, reading a book, or checking their phones. Some of the girls giggled my way, and I gave them a little smile if I met their stare. Some were pretty, definitely cute as well. Though I couldn’t help but feel a niggling sense of discomfort from how…keen they were, to say the least.

It made me wonder. Was I the type of guy who liked a challenge?

Well, I definitely hoped that—while appreciating that relationships were an important responsibility—liking someone wouldn’t be challenging. I hoped that romance come along easily, but with a little twist. Two people comfortable with surprising each other, ideally in every aspect—health, mentality, studies.

I guess I wanted a partner who would challenge me, so to speak. As much as I’d love to pamper my partner (it’s been a little dream of mine, really, to treat someone on a first date (which is perfectly normal for a guy to think about (so shut up))), realistically for any long-term prospects I’d like someone my equal. And maybe we wouldn’t agree on everything, so things could be interesting and we could learn from one another.

Which pretty much crossed off all the yes-girls I’d encountered so far.

I was sinking back in my chair as I pondered all this, blinking lazily as I memorised the edge of my desk through my bangs. Eventually I caught some background chatter with my other ear as the room—the school—the cherry blossoms outside—turned to black as I closed my eyes to some soothing jazz.

“—So my holidays were okay, how about yours—” “—Yamazaki-kun isn’t here, it’s just Matsuoka-kun all by himself—” “—Ahh, I don’t think I’m even ready to come back—” “—We’re thinking of hitting the cinemas this weekend, wanna take leave with us—” “—A new girl coming to our class, but I didn’t see anyone in orientation—” “—Which teachers do you think you’re gonna get for—” “—This year, I’m lookin’ for love—” “—Hey, not so loud, will you—”

The classroom’s familiar, cosy atmosphere dissipated as I heard the door creak open. Chairs scraped, tables shifted. The teacher chanted ‘ _morning_ ’, we chanted ‘ _morning_ ’.

A cloud cover just moved past, and sunlight streamed through the windows, casting everything in an ethereal light. I packed up my music and phone into my pocket again, my focus naturally looked to the side of the class where everyone was still whispering.

“—He’s the new student?—” “—I thought it’d be a girl—” “—His name’s a little unusual—” “—He looks kinda cool, doesn’t he—”

Chalk clacked on the blackboard—I realised the only thing the teacher would write so early was a new student’s name.

I guess a part of me expected it when I finally looked to the front. It must’ve been a very tiny part, because otherwise my jaw wouldn’t have fallen slack.

“He’s moved from Iwatobi High School and will be joining us from today,” the teacher said, but I barely processed her voice. The sun made everything bright, even him, and my throat felt a little dry. “His name is Nanase Haruka. Please make him feel welcome, everyone.”

His eyes flashed a clear blue.


	4. Chapter 003

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin properly meets Nanase Haruka.

Thinking back, I probably shouldn’t have felt mortally offended that the petal-picker ended up in our class, but at that moment I couldn’t help but feel like screaming ‘ _what the fuck?!!_ ’.

But really, it was like fate decided to specifically highlight ‘ _yes, Matsuoka Rin, we’ve now decided to fuck with you_ ’, because it was almost unnatural how everything in the classroom seemed to _glow_ with his introduction (and not because of that guy’s presence or whatever, that’d be stupid). The windows were some conduit of light, channeled to spotlight him as he barely bowed to the class. He mumbled his greetings and ‘ _please take care of me_ ’ with the same, quiet voice I heard less than an hour ago. It sounded so far away now at the front of the class, unlike then when he was so close with his fingers through my hair…

I swallowed deeply at the memory.

But I’ll say this now—right off the bat, Nanase pissed me off. I couldn’t care that he also had a girly name (even though that was the weirdest coincidence, right?) and he was now my classmate, or that girls were already cupping their mouths and gasping at the mysterious new transfer student. They were probably whispering about his dark fringe, or his light face, or maybe his small mouth, or even about those _really **blue** eyes_ —really, I couldn’t care about any of that.

He made me uneasy. Like his eyes were searching every nook and cranny of the secrets I didn’t even know I had—he made me paranoid, and that pissed me off. So he pissed me off.

But I really can’t tell you just how blue they were when he looked at me.

I’m telling you, the way his eyes seemed to pierce through you wasn’t natural at all. I swore that, out of everyone in the class, his focus was solely on me. It’d make sense, I guess—the one face he recognised out of a sea of strangers’ would definitely grab his attention. But in that moment, it was like…I wasn’t reacting how I was supposed to.

This Nanase Haruka was just another new kid, but my whole body felt like a stone in my seat. When I was supposed to consider how nerdy he looked with his buttoned-up gakuran, instead all I realised was how hot my already-undone collar was. And when his brow raised the slightest when he spotted me, and his eyes twinkled when he allowed just that much more sunlight in, I…shit, I felt like I needed a glass of water.

I reasoned my way out of my weird thoughts quickly—as popular as I looked, the only borderline romantic experience I ever had was vicarious, through peeking at Gou’s shoujo manga— _once or twice_. I mean, a guy can be curious…! I had to check that the content my sister was exposed to was appropriate, after all! She had a couple of…boy’s love…issues too. And while I _wasn’t_ inclined to that, I…had a general idea about how gay couples went (hopefully without all the rape, though, those parts were pretty _egh_.)

—But that’s not the point! Point is, despite all my looks or charisma or whatever, I was…how to put it?

A really sensitive virgin aware of—but not actually a part of—homosexuality.

…Yeah, that about puts it.

I mean, if it were a _girl_ who did that petal-stunt, my heart would’ve probably been stolen away in a flash. But this was just some guy instead, so I just felt weirded out. As I said, my day can be made or broken easily, and this guy’s little act happened to stick with my mood, that’s all.

So I already swore to myself I wouldn’t blush from my…weird-ass reactions. But _damn_ if his stare wasn’t relentless…!

“—Ah, that’s right,” the teacher spoke up, her light chime so different to his murmur that it pulled me out of my distraction. “You can take the free seat in front of him, Nanase-kun.”

_Eh?_

At that point, it belatedly occurred to me he could’ve just been goggling the seat he could take…yeah, that must’ve been it. I mean, it was kind of an intense stare, but I didn’t know the guy. Maybe he really liked chairs.

— _Not that_ , if he was staring at _me_ , it meant he would’ve liked _me_! Like, found-interest type of like or something—not that he’d find _interest_ in me, but…I guess the chair was really well-designed, is what I’m saying might be the case…? Y’know, like how—

“Matsuoka-kun?”

I looked up at the teacher’s voice, and some of the class had turned to me. And I added up that: crap, she’d been speaking to me.

“Sorry, Amakata-sensei,” I rubbed my head, mentally kicking myself for zoning out. “I wasn’t listening.”

“I was just saying that I’d like you to take care of Nanase-kun.” she repeated, pretty kindly in fact. She had this ‘ _it’s okay_ ’ smile while saying it, and I was pretty grateful she was nicer than the other teachers—

—Wait, shit, _I_ had to take care of him?

“Would that be okay?” she continued, still smiling at me.

The response tumbled out of my mouth with a dutiful nod. “I’ll take responsibility.”

“Thank you,” she beamed, and I gave an awkward, but well-meaning sort of smile. It wasn’t like I could refuse, or anything. “You’ll be in good hands, Nanase-kun.” she assured to him, who I realised was still standing at the front.

“Ah.” was all he said.

Well _gee_ do I love lengthy acknowledgement.

He made his way over to the desk in front of me, and my classmates’ whispers caught up to my ears. Namely the girls’.

“W-Wow, Nanase-kun’s really good-looking, isn’t he…?” “Don’t you think it’s a little weird to be that quiet?” “He really seems like the strong and silent type…!” “Matsuoka-kun’s taking care of him, too—it would almost make up for Yamazaki-kun!” “He looks a little flushed…you don’t think Matsuoka-kun’s sick, do you?”

At that last remark, I hid my face by rubbing my wrist on my nose, sheepishness taking over me in a suffocating kind of warmth. I couldn’t even tell I was blushing—goddammit, I already felt embarrassed…

“Are you okay?”

I paused for a moment of confusion. When I pulled away my wrist from my face, the guy—well, Nanase, now—had his elbow over the back of his seat, and he regarded with that same, level face. The sun even seemed to frame him, like this morning—

—God, he was _way_ too close.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine…” I assured, coughing that pointless stutter out. I couldn’t think of an excuse (read: a lie) for why my face could be red, so I let my speech awkwardly trail off.

Before I could even think ‘ _way to go, witty socialite you_ ’, his gaze softened, somehow ensnaring me.

“…I see.”

He turned to face forward, and I blinked at his chair scraping forward before registration started.

I didn’t know what to feel about his hit-and-run concern, honestly…

Amakata-sensei went through the list, and my cheek sunk a little further into my palm with every name she read off.

“Takenaka Chinatsu-san.”

“Here.”

“Tsukino Ayumu-kun.”

“Here.”

“Nanase Haruka-kun.”

Some of my classmates giggled while she gave an encouraging smile. I saw him barely glance from looking outside.

“…Here.”

She moved on, but I stayed a little.

_…Nanase…_

I idly watched him stare out the window again. He had a decent build, but it was little slouched. The guy’s boredom radiated in waves, and I could barely see his profile from behind. Instead all I saw was how his hair ended at his nape in a little, clean point, so his hair from the back looked like some black, upside-down teardrop.

He looked different from behind.

I started to wonder if he ended up at that courtyard because he was lost, trying to find his new school maybe, as I secretly traced his gaze to the cherry blossoms outside swaying in the breeze. A breeze none of us could feel with the air-con on and windows shut.

I wondered if he was thinking about that cherry blossom as well.

“Himura Izumi-san.”

“Here.”

Ah, my turn.

“Matsuoka Rin-kun.”

“Here.”

I was in the middle of list, maybe a little closer to the end as she carried on with registration. I was about to relax into my hand again, before I realised he was looking a little farther back than just to the window—no, wait…was he speaking?

“…uoka….”

My name? Did he need something?

“…Rin…”

Eyes half-lidded, Nanase looked at me. My skin bristled.

He whispered my name so softly—my _given_ name—I could’ve imagined it. It made another uncomfortable warmth well up in my throat, and I quelled it with a small gulp. It felt so strange for him to say, of all people—we were basically strangers.

—But, strangeness aside, he probably needed something, maybe some stationery before lessons actually started or whatever.

“Something y’need, Nanase?” I muttered, raising my brows.

I didn’t know him—maybe he was the kind of guy who didn’t really care about honourifics, which I could get from my time in Australia. In any case, I was getting too sensitive over his whole arrival.

I leaned to the side to catch more of his attention, thinking he was going to fully turn around and start asking whatever he was wondering. Instead, his eyes widened the slightest, and before I could add up that he might not have actually seen me seeing him, he blinked at me. He blinked at me and turned back to face the front. And something really, really out-of-order put a dead stop to my frown.

“…Nothing.”

His ears were pink.

I swear—I _swear_ they were. And I have never felt so shit for having twenty-twenty vision, either—peeking out from his black hair, his ears were pink. Maybe even just the tips, but that much sun couldn’t lie. It couldn’t, no matter how much I wanted it too.

This Nanase went pink-eared after saying my full name. After I caught him saying my full name.

My cheeks hurt. A heavy cloud of… _something_ weighed down my stomach.

Luckily, he didn’t turn back once throughout lesson time, which made me gloriously grateful. I just focused on not staring at his back for long stretches of time.

* * *

I went through the classes mechanically, and it all passed by soon enough. I was pretty smart and I did my homework and revision where necessary, so studies came easily to me (except Japanese, which is kinda ironic, but it’s relatively my weakest subject. Can’t win ‘em all, I guess). I had to read out a passage for English—stuff about wildlife and the environment—then it was lunch time.

Just as I was tucking in my chair, joining the cacophony of other chairs being pushed into desks, a girl or two came up to me. Really, I should’ve expected it.

“Matsuoka-kun, that was such wonderful reading~!” Takenaka cooed. I found myself sitting on my desk from her and her friend Nakano insisting on my space, but I was used to that and the batting eyelashes, so I gave a routine chuckle.

“It was just a passage, Takenaka-san,” I shrugged, an awkward grin naturally emerging from the attention. “It really wasn’t anything special.”

“You shouldn’t say that!” Nakano stressed, and somehow she was perching near my right shoulder and Takenaka was at my left. “It’s really special, how you’re bilingual! It was like you were a native speaker—I wouldn’t be able to tell from the audio tapes we listen to!”

“Ah, really, Nakano-san?” I asked, scratching my head now. “Well, I had to learn to speak English well to live in Australia, but thank you anyway.”

I tried not to give her too much of a smile, but she already gave a dreamy sigh.

“—Matsuoka-kun, would you mind eating lunch with me today?” Takenaka cut in, and I turned to her light touch on my shoulder.

“Oh, uh—” my lips were already pressed from reluctancy before I spotted her excessive pout, but I managed to rein in my instant ‘ _no I would mind_ ’. “Actually, I was hoping to—”

“No way, Chi-chan!” Nakano spoke up, and she leaned even closer on my right. “Matsuoka-kun would definitely want to eat lunch with _me_ more!”

Takenaka gasped. “ _No_ , Matsuoka-kun wants to eat lunch with _me_ , not with _Hanako_.”

Crap, I think Nakano _growled_. “No, _me_!”

“Wrong! _Me!_ ”

“— _No, me_ …!”

They were getting louder and louder, and I looked between them in a growing panic—it was getting ugly fast.

“Hanako, you’re so—!”

“Chi-chan, why can’t you just—!”

“— _Uh_ ,” I raised both my hands, leaning away from the impending danger zone and back against the window a bit. “Ladies?”

“—Yes, Matsuoka-kun~?”

Man, it was scary as _hell_ how they said that in unison…!

“Um, actually,” I glanced between them warily, but all they seemed to have were clasped-hands and heart-eyes for me. This scared me even further, and my gaze drifted to the side. “For lunch, I was planning to—”

I spotted Nanase.

—Oh _crap_ , I’d nearly forgotten.

“What is it, Matsuoka-kun?” Nakano broke in, and I jerkily looked back to her expectant, round eyes. “What are you planning to do?”

Well, I _was_ gonna meet up with Sousuke, but…

“I need to help out Nanase, actually…”

When I said that, I found my hand wandering near my bangs. I was more interested in why my hands were near my bangs than in their growing, humbling realisation.

“Oh…— _Oh_ , of course!” Takenaka looked to the door where Nanase was standing. “I forgot Amakata-sensei told you to take care of Nanase-kun!”

“Ah!” Hanako put a hand to her mouth, and I’m guessing she got embarrassed.

“Yeah…” I pulled my hand away from my bangs and buried it in my pocket, sitting straighter on my desk as I gave a little laugh. “That means I’ll won’t be able to eat with either of you, unfortunately,” I said, even though it wasn’t so unfortunate. But I didn’t want them to feel too bad, so I aimed a wider grin at a space between them so it wasn’t for anyone specific. “Sorry about that!”

Before I wondered how apologetic I really sounded, they were looking to me and each other with little squeals.

“It’s fine, Matsuoka-kun, really!” they both said, and gave jittery nods of understanding. “We’ll just go now—sorry for bothering you!”

They ran off before I could tell them it wasn’t a big deal, and they sidled past Nanase with meek ‘ _excuse me_ ’s.

…Something smelt of a _really_ strong vanilla.

I sniffed around, and realised the smell was coming from me. Specifically, my shoulders. Man, I never did like strong scents—I just went for a spritz of deo, personally, but now I stunk of girl’s perfume. Not that it smelt too bad, but it was a bit overwhelming. I thought maybe I wouldn’t really want a relationship after all…

I looked up to the sound of footsteps, though I knew exactly who they belonged to.

I stood on the ground properly to meet him in the eye, and they were ever blue and curious. It was pathetic how self-conscious I already felt, especially after he saw that embarrassing spat, too…

“Man, sorry you had to see that, Nanase,” I laughed it off in advance, while carefully testing how his name sounded out loud. “It gets pretty ridiculous sometimes…”

He didn’t respond, so my breath weakened into silence. The hallways occasionally mumbled with other students passing by, but somehow the quiet still seemed to press on me like his gaze.

It was around midday, so the sunlight was extra harsh in the classroom. It pointed out the subtle angle of his jaw, and shape of his nose and the shadows of his fringe. It was soft on some of his features, though, like his cheeks, mouth, and eyes, as he looked at me leaning back against the edge of my desk.

I had no idea why the sun was so weird that day.

He gave me a once-over— _he gave me a once-over, why_ —and spoke up.

“You’re popular, Matsuoka.”

He said it tonelessly, with no possible hint of jealousy, derision, or even impressed-ness. But all it brought to mind was something else.

I lowered my head with a bubbling chuckle, and he seemed surprised. Heck, even I was surprised.

“You’re calling me Matsuoka, then?” I quipped, an easier smile tracing across my lips. “I thought you’d already moved onto my given name, from the sounds of registration.”

When his eyes rounded the smallest bit, I instantly shut up from my tone and grin finally registering with me. I don’t know why I sounded so teasing when I said it—I wouldn’t have been surprised if the guy blushed again from bringing it up.

Instead, he’d caught _me_ unaware. Just by inclining his head, his eyes relaxed yet glimmering at me.

“Then, you wouldn’t mind?”

My mouth opened a bit. Then it closed.

“Uh…well,” I stammered. For some reason I instinctively pushed back at the edge of my desk, looking away as I ran my fingers through my hair out of nerves. I said before that he made me nervous. “I…guess I don’t mind if…it’ll be the same for me?” I finally decided, looking back at him out of the corner of my eye.

He looked surprised. “You want to use my given name, too?”

“Well, it’d have to be equal, wouldn’t it?” I responded a little snappily, ‘cause it was kinda obvious. I was glad I got a little exasperated, since that enabled me to face him with a lowered brow. “It wouldn’t work with you callin’ me Rin and me stuck with Nanase.”

He looked down in consideration. “…True,” he gave this earnest nod, and I could barely squint at it before his eyes caught mine again. “Call me Haru.”

I don’t know why, but his weird manner made me crack another grin. His quiet seemed more funny than intimidating now, somehow.

“Haru, huh?” I tilted my head, his given name flowing off my smile. “Guess you don’t like being called Haruka then.”

I nearly laughed from his pout—it was like a kid’s. “It’s too feminine.”

“Hey, you’re talking with a Rin, here,” I retorted, my nervousness fading wonderfully. “At least you got ‘Haru’—there’s no escape for me, alas,” I tossed back my head dramatically, the back of my hand covering my forehead like a distressed damsel before I sniffed comically: “I suppose you and I share the same fate.”

I looked back after my bit of impromptu, and Haru was blinking at me. Which I didn’t mind, so I just sniggered at his reaction.

“I was just jokin’—I can be an idiot at times,” I laughed with a wave. Before he could reply, I hopped onto my feet properly and put my hand on his shoulder. I felt more comfortable from starting to talk to him, so I started to get excited. “You wanna see the school? I’ll show you around, and we can hit the canteen later.”

It took a while with his stare, but he eventually nodded. “Sure.”

“Awesome,” I grinned a little harder, but I was probably smiling enough for the both of us. I opened my eyes to his waiting expression, and I started to pout when I spotted his collar. “That reminds me, before I welcome you here, you gotta know,” I took my hand off his shoulder and tapped my gakuran. “No one actually buttons to the top here.”

“Really?” he looked down so his chin hid in his collar, making it look like he had no neck. It was kinda funny.

“Yup,” I nodded with authority—had to show him the ropes, after all. “It’s a thing here.”

He looked at my collar, then down at his collar. “But I like it buttoned to the top.”

I guess it was kinda endearing, how he pouted again when he said it.

“Ah, well, a couple of buttons wouldn’t hurt,” I said with an off-handed shrug. “No peer pressure or anything if you don’t wanna, but it’s just uniform.”

“I'll do it.”

“You give up easily, don’t you…”

“How many buttons are usually undone?”

“Well, half the guys don’t button any, really, but—”

“I see.”

I was rubbing my ponytail at his quick attitude, cracking open an eye to reassure him it was fine if he didn’t—it was just something implicit, but it wouldn’t be like anyone would call on it or whatever.

But I watched him unbutton his gakuran instead, his fringe hooding patient eyes as he worked each one. They popped open pretty easily and revealed a hint of his chest. His complexion was light but he had a slight tan, reaching down to his pecs and—

Wait, why could I see his pecs?

“Wait—” I became perplexed, my hand falling from my head. “Don’t you have an undershirt?”

“No,” he let his hands fall to his side, with four buttons undone and showing a dip _way_ past his clavicle. “Is this okay?” he asked me with a straight face.

_What the fuck?!_

“— _Of course not!!_ ” I burst out, and my hands shot out to do up his buttons. “Are you some sorta exhibitionist?!”

“Oh,” he frowned a little, but not at me jostling his uniform apparently. “You’re not used to seeing skin?”

My hands stopped on his collar, and I gaped at him. “Wha—I—I’m _fine_ with skin! I’m a swimmer!” I blustered, resuming doing his third button with an insistent, mostly involuntary tug. How the hell was he so calm asking that?! “But Christ, this is _uniform_ we’re talking about! You can’t just _walk around_ without an undershirt, with your chest—!”

I balked when he clasped my wrists.

“Wha—h- _hey_ …!” I choked up at his firm grip, my fingers bursting with a tingling I’d never known. I whipped my head up in a confusion that swirled in my cheeks, and I probably looked dumb too. “What the hell are you—?!”

“You swim?”

His voice was filled with a soft, pressing wonder, and I just clammed up at the sunlight casting the most unreal glow on his expression, that seemed to brim with invisible, yet wholly palpable excitement. He squeezed my wrists, nearly pulling me closer with his warm grasp, and I swear I could feel his breath tickle my parted mouth.

Around the same time my palms burst into a sweat, I found my voice again.

“Y- _Yes_ I swim!!” I nearly squawked, wrenching my hands away from him. “What’s so surprising about that…?!”

I found myself breathing heavily, and tried to swallow it down. This guy—Haru was the weirdest guy…!!

And you know what he did? He didn’t even apologise for startling me—he just _looked_ at me, eyes practically alight with his collar a little tousled, this time with just two buttons open.

He stepped towards me, and grabbed my sleeve. “Take me.”

I never leapt back so fast in my _life_. “—HUH?!!”

“Take me to the pool, Rin,” he said, stepping forward and taking my sleeve again. “You have a pool here, right?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. I was pretty sure I either broke my ass or my desk from slamming back into it, and he just kept pressing those puppy-dog, big blue eyes at me.

“Please, Rin?”

He looked at me from behind his dark fringe, and hearing him say my name like that caused a weird…unease, which made me look down. And when I looked down, his hard collarbone peeked out from his freshly-unbuttoned uniform, and _that_ unease made me pull my head to the side.

“Fine, _fine_ , I’ll show you the pool…”

I was pretty sour, talking under my breath like that. I bet I was sulking—or even red-faced when I hazarded a glance up at him again.

He gave the tiniest, breathtaking smile.

“Thank you.”

I was desperately confused all over again, even more when he started to pull a little face.

“Rin…” his hand glided up to my hair, and my whole body hitched. “Your hair’s messy—”

“ _Will you lay off the hair…?!!_ ” I slapped away his hand, feeling another irritating, violent blush. The desk probably clattered when I strode to the door, but I couldn’t let him see my face. “It’s barely noon and we haven’t even left the classroom, for Christ’s sake…!” I yanked my head back, and nudged him along vigorously. “Just…come on, already! I gotta show you around!”

I didn’t bother to check if he was following when I resumed storming off. All I knew was that, ultimately, Nanase Haruka pissed me off.


	5. Chapter 004

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin goes about introducing Haru to the school.

After getting in a few vigorous hair scrubs and a couple of mumbled swears, I felt my cheeks relax. Which, all things considered, wasn’t as good, since I had some mope-pout hybrid instead as Haru lingered behind me.

He wasn’t even petal-picker or Nanase anymore—just… _Haru_. Like spring…

 _Anyway_ —I calmed down, he caught up, and I went about introducing stuff to him.

At first I just talked about whatever we passed by on our way to the pool—the science labs, music booths, the pitches out the windows when we went down the staircase—all that sorta stuff. I felt like some underpaid tour guide, except I wasn’t getting anything for it.

“Oh, and, here’s the art department,” I nudged to a corridor we passed. It wasn’t so obvious from a glance, but you could kinda tell once you peeked inside the windows—the classrooms looked like any of the others in the school, except tables were replaced with canvases and diagrams about colour theory were tacked onto the blackboards. “There’s a club for it, though I’ve never taken it,” I scratched my head, trying for conversation for some reason. “Probably ‘cause I’m pretty shit at it,” I chuckled a little before turning around. “How about you—”

The corridor was empty.

“Huh?”

I did a one-two shake of my head, and _yeah_ —the guy just disappeared on me. But by the looks of a door that floated open, he didn’t go far.

I wasn’t really surprised that I couldn’t tell he’d left—the guy had only been nodding or grunting instead of actually speaking. Though when I looked back on occasion, he seemed interested enough—kinda like a kid blinking around him on his first time to the zoo or something.

I pushed my fingers through the back of my hair as I went in, kinda embarrassed that he left me talking out loud to no one.

“ _Oi_ , Haru,” I clicked my tongue as I went in the studio. “Didn’t you wanna see the pool?”

When I cracked an eye open, I spotted him at a desk to the side, doodling on a blank page torn from a sketchbook. It wasn’t with a pen though—a black stick of charcoal made earthy scratches on the paper, and he seemed relaxed and concentrated at the same time, somehow. Peaceful.

—But enough of that, was that even _his_?

“Dammit, Haru,” I grit my teeth a little while walking up to him, and grabbed his drawing arm. “You can’t just go around doodling whatever in whoever’s book!”

He didn’t even glance at me. “I checked. It’s no one’s.”

Okay, considering that, even Haru wouldn’t be weird enough to mess up someone else’s book. It made me a little sheepish.

“O-Okay, but _still_ ,” I muttered, resisting the urge to rub my neck. “I don’t think we’re allowed to use stuff without permission,” I reasoned, tugging on his arm insistently. “Besides, you wanna see the pool, right?”

He didn’t look any different, but I felt his arm pause.

“…Yeah.”

He set the charcoal down without much of a fuss, like the mention of the pool tamed him or something. Man, was Haru weird or _what_ …

I sighed a bit, then let go of his arm. “Right, okay, let’s go down to the—”

I spotted his paper. A rough, yet skilful outline of a tree—skilful because with the few strokes I could already tell what he was trying to draw. But there was a big circle in the front with a cross in the middle on top of the tree, looking kinda out of left field.

I blinked a moment. I forgot what to say before I looked down at his hand.

“—Aw, _really_?” I let my shoulders sag.

“What is it?”

“ _What is it_ —your hand!!”

I pointed straight at his hand, and he just looked at it like _oh look I have a hand which looks kinda burnt_. And he even _sounded_ like it with his “Oh.”

His palm and fingers were like black and grey made babies, and not just from holding it to draw—it was dusted all over, like he’d rolled the charcoal around beforehand.

“What, did you just decide to crush some and use it as hand-paint?”

“I felt some of it,” he shrugged. “It was good charcoal.”

He wasn’t even fazed by my remark, so I just let my frustration out with another sigh.

“Just—wait here.”

I turned around and headed behind the open door, leaning over to get some tissues from the dispenser on the wall. It was a little ways away—new guys like Haru wouldn’t be able to find it too easily. After I was standing straight again, I spotted the sink and decided to dab a little water on the tissues I’d balled up into a wad. I mean, his hands were _pretty_ dirty.

I was sighing a lot today. “Troublesome…”

When I came back, Haru was looking out the windows to the open pitch, leaving his nasty hand to hang at the side. I don’t know why—I’m pretty okay-ish with grime, but his palm looked nearly stained or something.

“Hey,” I nudged his shoulder, and I handed the tissues when he turned to me. “Here.”

“Ah.” he gave a small nod before taking the tissues, and started half-heartedly rub his hand.

I couldn’t help but watch his hands, because he was just so _slow_ , moving the tissue in tiny strokes in the centre of his palm. He didn’t rub it down or anything like he was supposed to, but held the tissue between his fingers all gentle, at times pushing it at the webs of his slim, dirty-as-fuck fingers. Hell, he just spread that black powder into the tissue like some infection, without actually removing any from his hand—the _source_ of the problem.

When I looked up, he was _still_ looking at the pitch outside.

“— _Oh_ for _Christ’s_ sake…!”

I ripped the tissue out of his hand, which finally ripped him out of his distraction. I wanted to scoff for the girls’ sake: he wasn’t silent and strong or mysterious—just some weird guy who did things on a whim and spaced out a lot.

“I don’t have all day for you to wipe your goddamn hands…!” I said, kinda pissed he was so lax all the time. It wasn’t like he had done anything wrong, or we were running outta time or anything. He was just…really—

“Rin?”

He sounded curious, but I didn’t even look at him. “You could spare a guy some time, y’know…” I clicked my tongue, but I grabbed his hand anyway. “Whatever, I’ll clean it.”

I held up the back of his sooty hand, and used the damp tissues to give a good, proper scrub, though not really a scrub—just rubbing hard enough to clean off that annoying powder. His hand felt kinda stiff for a moment, but I just focused on getting that graphite shit off.

Somehow, I took a little time to get all the guck off. With us saying nothing, it was pretty quiet—I could only hear the tissue squishing with a little water each time I rotated it for a clean side, and the little scrubs when I worked at a pretty stubborn patch of grey.

It must’ve been a really soft lead…

I guess his hand was kinda warm, when I was cleaning it. When I pulled the tissue up each of his fingers, I could feel they were a little slimmer than mine. They felt more lithe, but as delicate as it felt it wasn’t such a feminine hand either. It had the tiniest bit of a callous, and it wasn’t all soft—the meat of his palm was a little firm when I pressed it, not really soft like when I squeeze Gou’s hand during a scary movie—

 _Uh_ —I mean—I don’t _squeeze_ Gou’s hand during scary movies! More like I offer _her_ the reassurance that, y’know, big-bro’s-here-if- _you’re_ -scared type thing! Not like _I’m_ scared or anything! Of movies! That’d be dumb as hell, getting scared from some movies, hahaha…!

…Just don’t tell, will you?

 _Anyway_ , I finished soon enough.

“—All clean!” I announced with a firm nod, holding up Haru’s newly de-charcoaled hand. I took a look at the black, dank tissue, and it did not come out looking pretty. “Jeez, how much did you even mess around with that charcoal…?” I pulled a little face before spotting a trash can at the side. I poised my arm, shifting my hands a bit as I flicked the wad, and it landed in the bin with a perfect thump. “Swish~”

I laughed a bit before looking to Haru. Then I stopped laughing.

He had this look. A look I could only stare at, bright blue against black, and it just reeled me into silence. I realised he might’ve been like an inch shorter than me, but at that moment he looked so…so…—fuck, I don’t _know_ what he looked like, what he could’ve been thinking. All it was were his eyes a little wide, his lips a little open, his cheeks a little…

Pink.

Somehow, I noticed I was still holding his hand. Cupping it, even.

But he didn’t pull away. And, god knew why, I didn’t either.

…It felt warmer.

“Rin…”

When he breathed my name, my brain finally kicked into gear.

“A- _Ahh_ , ‘scuse me…!!” I made the most _strangled_ sound as I jerked my hand away, and my cheeks felt _so painfully_ tight. “M-Must’ve been all that charcoal! Cleanin’ it off! _Aha!_ ” I tried to make my laugh less tortured-ly nervous as I wiped the sudden sweat on my hand on my trousers—almost like I was trying to pull them off from the strength I rubbed it down because _why_. “ _Well_ , your hand’s clean now, so let’s get down to that pool—time’s a’wastin’!!”

I turned on my heel and refrained from bolting out the door. Even worse, I had to be slow enough so I could hear Haru’s footsteps eventually follow—I couldn’t claw off my face just yet.

My heart was pounding—like a drumming, bone-deep pounding. My palms turned into the next stinging Niagara Falls, and I could feel my blood coursing throughout my entire body, pricking my hand especially. I even felt my breathing go all—

—He _breathed_ my name, what the hell…!

I waited outside the hallway entrance just by the stairs for a moment. My back fell against the wall, and I clutched my head. It was probably useless, but the thumping gave me a headache, and a breath streamed out my nose as I shut my eyes.

Was that room too stuffy? Was I going sick? My heart beat fast and I felt like sweating, all because I held Haru’s hand a little too long? Was I that sensitive? Hell, did I even _have_ to clean Haru’s hand for him? He wasn’t some _kid_ or anything, even if he acted like one at times…!

Thoughts like this streamed through my overheated brain, and lunch wasn’t even over.

“What is _wrong_ with me today…”

Just as I finished my shaky sigh, Haru soon appeared. I stopped clutching my head at that point.

He glanced at me, but didn’t quite look at me. “…Pool?”

“Yeah,” I replied jerkily, swallowing before I pried my back off the wall. “Pool.”

* * *

The walk down to the gym was silent between us. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, the cleaning thing, but I couldn’t bring myself to properly look at Haru.

Mentally reviewing the situation for the twenty-sixth time, I was sure I was the one who made it weird. I grabbed his hand to clean it, and made a whole fuss afterwards. Was it even that dirty? I mean, wiped on a gakuran and that shit would’ve blended—I didn’t need to make everything all awkward…

At this point, I realised I was being a coward. I usually fuck things up, but it’s never that bad—I shouldn’t treat it like it was a bigger deal than it actually was. Though, I had to consider why I reacted how I did later…

I clenched my fists in my pockets, and spoke up.

“So, uh,” I coughed, working through the thicket of really-awkward as I felt his gaze again. “You really wanna see the pool a lot. Thinking of signing up for the swim club?”

We reached the foot of the steps as I looked to his response, and he nodded a little. “I'm going to join.”

“Cool!” I piped up, giving a smile a little smaller than usual, but it was getting there. “We got an awesome swim team you’re gonna love—in the top 5 across Japan, y’know? But when you go through the regimen, it makes sense—the drills are intensive and time trials take place once every two weeks—I’m pretty sure people signing up for the team and not just for training need to do a time trial first thing, actually, but in any case—”

So I rambled on about swimming, the club schedule, and somehow my own dry-land cardio and weight training. It was probably ‘cause it was familiar territory, my routine and regimen, and it felt easy to talk about. The swimming pool took maybe a minute to reach, so when we finished the final staircase I finally realised how long I’d been talking.

“Oh, whoops…” I scratched my hair, feeling self-conscious. “I kinda blathered on there—sorry ‘bout that.”

Haru just shook his head. “I don’t mind.”

It didn’t sound like he was just being polite, but somehow I still felt flustered.

“Anyway,” I looked forward again, and we reached the frosted glass doors. The pool was supposed to be closed up, but unlocking it took less than a second. “We’re here—oh, take your shoes off first,” I nudged to them while shuffling mine off. “They’re not allowed, though slippers are.” I added, hooking off my socks.

He grunted in acknowledgement. It was pretty fast, how he took them off.

“Alright,” I huffed in preparation, rolling up my trousers a little so they were at mid-shin level. “In we go~”

I turned the lock and pulled open the doors to our Olympic-sized pool, and I was instantly awash with the smell of chlorine. The area was a bit underground, but the windows were still streaming with light, high and low. Of course, we were the first people to get in for the year, so the pool was a sheen of smooth, blue glass mirroring the shafts of sun breaching beneath its surface.

My feet clapped against the stone tiles, and I couldn’t help the comfortable grin on my face.

“It’s good to be back,” I sighed, setting my hands on my hips as I took in the calm pool. “Can’t wait ’til sign-ups on Monday,” I bit the inside of my cheek, smiling with impatience. “So, Haru?” I turned around expecting his reaction. “How’d you like our pool oh my _god, why_ —?!!”

He looked up from undoing his belt— _undoing his fucking belt_.

“What?”

Many things came to mind as I made noise and gestures—‘the fact that you’re stripping, you’re half-naked, you still don’t give a fuck, or that you generally _exist_ ’, to name a few.

“—What _nothing_ , put on your _goddamn uniform_ …!!”

I put on the most bewildered what-the-fuck face I could muster, but his gakuran was already wide open and showed his _entire bare torso **why**_.

“I want to swim.” he said before beginning to thumb down his trousers—what the fuck, were those _jammers_? He planned this?!

“ _As if!!_ ” I yelled, fucking _done_ with his shit as I caught hold of his bicep. “You’re not swimmin’ anywhere today!”

He tensed as he gave me this petulant-ass glare. “You can’t stop me.”

“ _Uh_ , yeah! I can! Because _you’re not gonna swim_!”

He stared at me. “Let me swim.”

I stared right the fuck back. “No! Put your clothes on!”

He squirmed, but I held onto his arm tight. “Let me swim!”

“I said _no_!! The fuck—are you _four_ or something…?!”

He grabbed my wrist, and dammit he looked resolved. “I’ll let you swim with me.”

“Oh, what a _privilege_ ,” I rolled my eyes, and made my grip on his arm extra tight. “Yeah fuckin’ _right_ , no one’s swimmin’ today—especially not now!”

He deadpanned at me. “I’ll pay you.”

“ _Don’t try to bribe me…!_ ”

He was so damn stubborn, but at least I was too.

After a minute of arguing ending with me threatening to pre-exile him from the swim club, we walked out of the pool with Haru satisfyingly dry and clothed.

“I hate you.”

“Couldn’t care,” I replied blandly. “Besides, the pool was technically closed, so you oughta thank me.”

He pouted and looked away. “I’d be happy.”

I pushed a breath out my nose, and tried for some actual comfort.

“Look, Haru,” I put a hand on his shoulder, but he still looked away. “They don’t have towels here, you’ve no other uniform right now, and it’s April,” I said matter-of-factly. “You’d get a cold from swimming now—we still have two lessons before dorm time,” I reassured, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “You could probably take a dip then—they usually open up the gyms after-school too.”

I consoled a guy who half-stripped for pool water— _lovely_.

He gradually faced me, reluctant but less mopey. “…Alright.”

The smell of chlorine clung to him, and I chuckled. “Alright,” I leaned forward to grin up at him. “Still hate me?”

He blinked at me before facing away again. “…No.”

“Glad to hear it,” I clapped his back. “Now come on, stripper, we gotta get some lunch.”

He didn’t even blink at the tease, and somehow I got kinda worried this would be a thing…

* * *

I sat across from Nanase at the canteen tables, squinting at his tray.

“You only got mackerel…?”

Literally: mackerel and a bowl of rice.

Maybe he was tryin’ to be economical or something, but it was a pretty spartan meal…

“I got water too.”

Oh huzzah, the guy got water too.

“Well, whatever,” I shrugged—had to get used to this guy sometime anyway. I clapped my hands then picked up my chopsticks. “Time t’dig in~”

Now, it wasn’t like the food was five-star glorious or anything— just some pork, veg, rice. Typical school food. But having only an apple up until then made my stomach pretty tetchy. So when I finally tasted the succulent meat, I gave a little hum. As a hungry meat-lover, it made me pretty content.

I thought I heard Haru snort a bit (Haru—nod-or-grunt-or-minimal-sentences Haru. Snorting. Of all people.), so I cracked an eye open. “What is it?”

He was picking a part off his mackerel, and since he was looking down at his food I couldn’t really see his expression. But he just shook his head, and took a little bite of his mackerel.

I quirked a brow. _Okay then…_

I ate some baby broccoli next, and occasionally glanced up at Haru. I didn’t really know whether he found the school interesting or not, what with all his quiet.

I mean, his quiet was pretty misleading. With his looks, it gave off some kinda cool aura, maybe—but when you talk to the guy (or get him to talk) he’s actually pretty ridiculous. Quirky as fuck, too. Doodling, stripping, only-eating-mackerel—even petal-picking and name-calling (though not that kinda name-calling).

Thinking of that reminded me…

“Hey, Haru,” I saw him look up, and I swallowed my rice. “About this morning, at that cherry blossom—”

“Yo, Rin.”

I was momentarily confused at that not being Haru’s voice, but then I looked over and the interruption was actually Sousuke, putting up a hand and pocketing his other.

I started to grin, and waved him over. “Yo!” I shuffled over on the bench so he sat comfortably at the end. “Sorry—couldn’t meet up ‘cause I had to take care of the new guy— _ah_ ,” I looked over to Haru with a here’s-my-roomie gesture, vaguely registering he already had his eyes trained on Sousuke. “Haru, this guy here’s my buddy, Yamazaki Sousuke—we room together.”

Sousuke raised a brow beside me. “That’s not your last name, is it?”

“My last name’s Nanase.” Haru responded, but a little quietly, like how he introduced himself in class. Not meek, but just quiet.

“Oh,” Sousuke looked between us. “You two know each other?”

Well, we did, but I got what he meant.

“Uh, well,” I ruffled my hair. “We met this morning, so not really?” I trailed off with a sheepish smile.

“Oh,” Sousuke said again, and I could sense his confusion. I mean, not that I was a super stickler for Japanese culture, but jumping to first-name terms on the day you meet was pretty off. But Sousuke brushed this aside, and I knew I’d explain to him a bit later. “Nice to meet you, Nanase.”

Haru nodded. “You too, Yamazaki.”

It was a little stiff, but hey, niceties were niceties.

“You already eaten?” I glanced at Sousuke, eating a little more pork as he nodded.

“Yeah, I ate,” he replied, and I saw him check out Haru’s tray. It was surprising, how bare it was. “The girls told me where you were.”

“Ah,” I clucked my tongue. “At least there’s that.”

Sousuke sighed. “Kinda tiring without you there, though.”

“Whoops,” I shrugged. At this point, I checked if Haru was listening, and I shook my head a bit at his curious look. “The girls think we’re all cool or something—it’s alright, but sometimes it gets kinda _bleh_.”

I stuck out my tongue, and Sousuke continued with a nod. “They’re persistent. I guess I could understand why for me, but this guy…”

He nudged over to me, and I smirked after swallowing my food. “I’m dead gorgeous, obviously~” I teased, waggling my brow at Haru. He gave me a look that said ‘ _really?_ ’ and ate some more of his food.

Sousuke put his hands up with a shrug. “Whatever you say.”

I kicked his shin with a laugh. “Fuck off, I’m the hottest person I know.”

“Amazingly small scope.”

“You _ass_.” I laughed some more, grinning now.

I saw Sousuke smile a bit, opening his mouth for some other smartass retort before I heard a noise quite a bit louder than just canteen chatter. Hell, it even made Haru turn around from his mackerel.

Sousuke made a face. “I don’t think I can deal with the peanut gallery anymore today,” sighing as he promptly stood, he headed for the staircase up to class. “Leaving them to you now.”

“Right, see ya later,” I gave him a little salute while chewing, before turning to Haru. “Alright, Haru, the first time’s gonna be a bit overwhelming, but they shouldn’t bother you so much,” I whispered quickly, like a general giving instructions—or sergeant, whichever military position was higher. “It’s me they’re going after—you’ll just have t’endure a moment or two, depending on how they’re feelin’ today.”

Haru swallowed his food looking the same as ever. “Okay.”

“Well, at least you’re easy to console…”

Before I could give a dramatic sigh and a pat on his shoulder, girls came rolling up—five I think.

“Matsuoka-kun!” they squeaked happily, and I put on my smile.

“Hey ladies,” I greeted like usual, but they still swooned a bit.

“Ehh~?” one of them moaned a bit, and I saw her scan the canteen in disappointment. “Wasn’t Yamazaki-kun here a moment ago?”

“Oh yeah, he said he had some errand,” I shrugged, making it look as understanding as I could. “Don’t know where he is now—sorry!”

I mentally ‘ _you’re welcome_ ’d Sousuke as the girls’ spirits brightened again—more from experience than cockiness, it was probably because I smiled while dealing the news.

“Oh, it’s fine, Matsuoka-kun!” one of them reassured eagerly. “You’re great with or without Yamazaki-kun around!”

“Thanks,” I nodded promptly, and I blindsided how they whisper-cheered at the girl’s daring statement. “So, what’s going on?”

“ _Well_ ~” they grinned at each other, though one of them seemed kinda nervous. “We were wondering if you could help out Miyumi-chan with something~!”

They nudged the nervous girl into my vision, and I realised she was in my year.

“Akiyama-san?” I asked curiously, banking on my decent memory for her name.

“U-Um…” she stuttered a bit, her pigtails bobbing a little as she held papers to her chest. “The teacher gave us exercises in English class today, and…they’re quite difficult,” she mumbled, and I think her hands jittered a bit as she held out her homework. “I was wondering if you could help me, Matsuoka-kun. I…hear you’re very good at English, s-so…”

“—Well, Matsuoka-kun _was_ in the top ten in all his subjects last year!” one of the girls chimed, and I flushed a bit at the pride in her voice.

“Ah, well, English is definitely one of my best subjects,” I admitted with a rub of my head, and they giggled as I wondered if my half-eaten lunch was getting cold.

“So, will you help Miyumi-chan, Matsuoka-kun?” they asked in a sing-song-like chant. “Just for lunch, of course—it won’t take long!”

I looked to Akiyama, then I realised Haru across from me, still nibbling on his food.

“Sorry, Akiyama-san,” I shook my head a bit, but continued before they could whine or deflate. “I’d love to help, but I can’t really leave my classmate alone at this point,” I explained, and I sensed him looking at me. “He’s new here, and I promised I’d take responsibility.”

They shifted their attention from me, and finally realised Haru was there too.

“ _Oh_ , sorry…!” one of them spoke up amongst the little gasps, and I considered how strong their tunnel-vision was. “We didn’t know you were busy!”

“S-Sorry we were so rude!” one of them bowed a little to Haru. “We should’ve welcomed you properly before asking Matsuoka-kun!”

Haru looked on at the girl’s bow and the girls’ fluster. He was still expressionless, but he wasn’t cold or impassive. In fact, it felt kinda soft when he shook his head a bit.

“It’s fine.” he reassured, naturally quiet as he looked up at them again, and I saw his eyes glow its gentle, usual blue.

I blinked at him, then looked up at the girls. They were in a standstill, like some building revelation was coming upon them.

Uh-oh.


	6. Chapter 005

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru gets along well with the girls, and Rin's not sure what to feel about that.

Just a reminder—we were in the canteen, girls came for me, then Haru talked.

He looked his usual self as the girls started to blink again, and alarm bells sounded in my head. I did say before when I met him that he had the kind of face that girls in my class would fall for—I just didn’t remember that the girls would actually, y’know, _realise_ that.

“Um…” one of them peeked from behind her friend, and dear lord she was blushing a little. “I—we didn’t catch your name…”

“Ah,” Haru murmured, and I _heard_ the gasps when his fringe fell a little over his eyes. “Nanase Haruka,” he continued, and I wondered how he could still sound confident while being soft-spoken as he inclined his head in a bow. “It’s nice to meet you.”

I felt a frown etching into my face.

“Th-That’s a pretty name: Haruka…” one of the other girls commented a little distractedly, and I saw them shoulder her with a sharp ‘ _Ayako…!_ ’.

As much as I didn’t want Haru to deal with them, I could understand—Haruka was typically a girl’s name. I was about to whisk Haru away from the ensuing trouble, but then he actually kept talking.

“…Thank you,” he nodded the slightest, all gentle and normal like I haven’t seen before. “But please call me Haru,” he requested, and I saw him look away before murmuring again. “It’s embarrassing, otherwise.”

I knew that cinched it.

The girls inhaled again, but I felt kinda pissed—I knew he wanted to avoid being called Haruka, but just…offering like that was pretty unnecessary…

Like, okay, first: asking for trouble much? And here I assumed the guy didn’t want any hassle, but it looked like he just paid no attention to me not even a minute ago—he had to have seen how clingy the girls were. And, I mean, we had to agree and he even asked a _question_ first before letting me call him Haru, but apparently he had no hesitations whatsoever letting a bunch of girls call him that ten seconds after meeting him…

And he was dealing with them in a different way than I expected.

I felt the annoyance bubble up in my throat, and I just chomped on my last pieces of pork. _Whatever_ , I thought, _let him deal with the crowd then…_

“You would let us call you…Haru-kun…?” Akiyama asked timidly, suddenly all enraptured with the other girls. Like, short attention span, sure, but _come on_ …

“…I don’t mind.”

Suddenly they squealed a bit. Did he even say twenty words?

“Um, H…Haru-kun,” one of the before-louder girls had asked, and I reluctantly noted she was hesitant about using Haru’s name (which was stupid, it was just a name he doled out). “You wouldn’t happen to be good at English, would you?”

 _Wow_ , okay.

I took a harder bite on my rice, but he just shook his head, goddamn impassive as ever.

“It’s my weakest subject.” he said (still all annoyingly calm, like speak the hell up will you…?)

“So what subjects are you good at, Haru-kun?” one of them asked. (Who _cares_?)

He looked down at his mackerel and rice (which, thinking about it, was annoying too). “…Home Ec,” he finally said. “And Art.”

Okay, tell a bunch of girls your favourite subjects, and not the guy who’s helping you out.

And before I could scoff—‘cause who even did Home Ec, how lame—the girls got all excited again.

“So, you must be a good cook, then!” one of them praised, before blushing a little. “But, are you sure you’re not good at P.E., too…?”

What, he wasn’t _that_ buff…

“P.E.’s okay,” he nodded. “But I still prefer Home Ec or Art.”

They looked at each other, confused. “How come?”

Haru paused (what, to meditate?). “It’s…more peaceful,” he decided. “I can spend time making something.”

They gasped _again_. “Th-That’s really sensitive of you…!”

I was going to gag from all the gushing, but then Haru looked at them and did his little frown. “Aren’t you girls tired?”

They blinked. “Why do you ask, Haru-kun?”

“You’re standing a lot,” he noted, and he _shifted farther on the bench_ like _what_. “Do you want to sit?”

My jaw was going to drop from this bullshit.

They were all red in the face now, giggling amongst each other as Haru let them sit next to them. Then they were asking stuff and he was giving one-sentence answers—two sentences _max_.

Well wasn’t he all _kind_ and _chivalrous_.

After clearing my tray—yeah, they talked long enough for me to finish eating, _ridiculous_ —I happened to tune in when Haru gave a paused, weird kind of look at one of the girl’s giggling.

“There’s paint in your hair…”

Something hot crashed my stomach when his hand raised a bit.

“A- _Ah_ , is there…?” the girl touched her head, all giddy from his attention. “It must’ve been from art class!”

“Ah, Haru-kun, you said you were good at art earlier, didn’t you…?”

I didn’t even listen after they asked him to draw something on spare paper—I just got up to put away my tray with something ugly churning inside my gut.

* * *

When I was at the metal tray bins, I let out the most gruff sigh-yell ever. I don’t know why, but it felt good and not good at the same time—like my sigh-yell let out some of the problem brewing inside me, but not enough of it.

I realised I felt pissed.

So, _so_ pissed.

So, _apparently_ , he just _really_ paid attention to people’s hair! Like, _anyone’s_! If anyone has _anything_ in their hair, motherfuckin’-Nanase will swoop in to pluck it like it’s no big deal…! And he’ll have easy conversation too, _with anyone_ except for the guy that’s showing him around, apparently! No, contrary to popular belief, he’ll actually hold decent conversation without you having to initiate talking _all the goddamn time_!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, but pigs have their feet on the ground and sharks aren’t speaking Swahili yet, but hang tight and cross your fingers!

I thought all of these things, before realising I was being petty-as. But I kept thinking them for a while, till my boiling frustration simmered into something much more sinking.

I pulled at my bangs, wincing.

“What _is_ this…”

It was flattering at times, but god knows how long I’ve waited for the girls to just go bother someone else, someone besides Sousuke and me. And all reason pointed to Haru as the go-to solution—new, quiet transfer student, who had some cool aura—a grade-A drool-target for the girls.

I was supposed to be _glad_. I was supposed to ring up Sousuke and be like ‘ _guess what guess what remember that transfer dude you met like fifteen minutes ago and all those girls hell fuckin’ yeah man we’re **free**!_ ’

But instead… _instead_ …

I felt…all sorts of disbelief and _wrong_. And that sickening tar in my stomach kept infecting me with an uncomfortable, creeping heat. Like some swirl—a thick, tarry swirl thing.

What _was_ this…?!

I mean, it all added up, didn’t it? I thought Haru wouldn’t get any company with his quietass disposition, but now he had fans _flocking_ for him. And he dealt with them well, too, _leagues_ fuckin’ better than how he was with me…

…Why did I feel so sick…?

This was stupid, this was all so _stupid_. It wasn’t like I _missed_ the girls bothering me, which made it even more stupid!

And not just now, either—I knew the guy for a number of _hours_ and today…today I just wasn’t reacting in all the ways I was supposed to. If a guy besides Sousuke had girls hanging all over him, especially on his _first_ day, I’d be like ‘ _damn that’s some skill_ ’ or something!

But the way Haru acted, all kind and soft and not-weird-even-bearable and just…that stupid, fucking _paint_ thing! With that girl! Was he so goddamn _indifferent_ all the time…?! Was it just…something he _did_ …?

When I felt like I wanted to punch something, I strode through the canteen and beelined for the exit. I didn’t care I passed by Haru—he was probably paying attention to the girls anyway…

* * *

I knew I’d have to go back to Haru later, but in the fifteen minutes of lunchtime left, I went up to the classrooms. I don’t know about you, but whenever I had something messed up to deal with (a.k.a. my feelings), I usually went to my best friend—Sousuke was always my go-to guy.

Unlike other high schools here, students don’t hang out in the classrooms since food’s at the canteen, ‘cause boarding school and all. Though it didn’t mean the classrooms weren’t free during lunch, they were just pretty deserted unless it was class time.

So that’s why I expected to see Sousuke sitting in class 2B exactly as he was. He even sat in the same spot as I did for my class, looking up from unwrapping his green-and-white polka-dotted bento when I walked in.

He looked surprised, but I acted like I didn’t notice it. “What happened with the girls?”

“Well, new guy’s dealing with them now…” I chuckled, but I knew it was kinda weak as I settled back against a desk close to Sousuke.

He gave me a frowny once-over, and still frowned while he opened up his bento. “Thought you were supposed to take care of him.”

“I was, but…” I trailed off, my chest starting to sink before I forced a laugh again. “Well, he’s a natural, I guess. Has them around his little finger,” I remarked, swallowing back something bitter. “Impressive for a new guy.”

Sousuke picked up his chopsticks. “Aren’t gonna call him Haru?”

I flinched when he started to eat. I hadn’t even noticed.

“I…it’s not,” I rubbed my hair over my forehead, mumbling as I looked away. “It’s not like that’s important, or anything…”

“Really?” Sousuke asked between a chew of his rice. “Even with petal-picker Nanase?”

I might’ve snapped my neck a little, looking to him. “How do you—”

“Told me this morning,” he reminded shortly, humming as he ate some cucumber. “Recognised him when I saw—sweepy black hair, Pocket Sweat eyes, though his collar was undone,” he shrugged off-handedly, but I was just staring dumbly as memories started to work again. “Think you had a hand in that.”

“I—yeah…” I was muttering again, but I couldn’t help it. That… _swirl_ thing still festered in my gut, which I came to try to rationalise. So now I was just trying to lose myself in the look of Sousuke’s bento, which…which looked _awesome_ , actually. “— _Shit_ , is that a meat butterfly?”

No joke: the chick arranged the meat and veg to draw a cartoon butterfly.

Sousuke nodded, scooping some more rice. “Yeah. Tastes alright, too.”

“ _Damn_ yeah,” I gave an approving whistle. “Gotta go thank…uh…”

My grin faltered, and he raised a brow. “Kato-san?”

“— _Yeah_ , her.”

“You were always bad with their names,” he noted, working at the antennae of his bento butterfly. “It’s a wonder you haven’t screwed up yet.”

“Yeah…” I rolled my toe a bit sheepishly, the gifted rock guitar charm bracelet feeling a little heavier despite how thin it was. “But—y’know I don’t _really_ care for them like that…”

Yes, I was probably being an ungrateful ass, but I never asked for any of the girls to dote on me. Besides, I was talkin’ to Sousuke, which meant a lot more free speech.

“Then…” he paused to grip some beef properly. “It’s kinda surprising, how you seem to care now.”

I blew a raspberry out of how funny that was. “That’s stupid,” I scoffed instantly, crossing my arms as I looked to the blackboard and its blurry chalk marks. “I said I don’t care for them like that and I mean it.”

I looked back to catch Sousuke’s glance. “…I didn’t say for the girls.”

He kept eating his bento like he’d said nothing.

I blinked, and…my body seemed to freeze.

“…What, for _Haru_?” I cocked my head forward, making my disbelief clear as Sousuke swallowed his bite. “ _Nanase_?”

Sousuke looked at me. “Well…” Then shrugged. “Yeah.”

I opened my mouth to say… _something_. I think. But Sousuke wasn’t joking around like earlier—he was being straight with me. And when I realised that, I kind of just…closed my mouth. And leaned back.

It went silent, the classroom. Sousuke gently ate his bento, and I was frowning at my crossed, black-sleeved arms, pondering.

I mean, care for in what _sense_? It’d be unheard of to get attached after not even a day of knowing him—and it was obvious I didn’t care for Haru the way I cared for Sousuke or anything. But it wasn’t like…I didn’t _want_ to take care of Haru, even though I was technically obligated to. But I felt glad leaving him down at the canteen, yet…at the same time, not.

Around the same time I looked up, Sousuke was cleanly wrapping the bento again, half-empty this time. He crossed his arms and leant on his desk, and I took his waiting look as a cue: what had Haru done?

“Alright, so,” I coughed a bit, and started to use my hands while talking. “I told Haru to stay put while the girls came over, ‘cause it can get annoying, right?”

“Mm.”

“And then, after like five of them come over, told ‘em I didn’t know where you were—”

“Thanks.”

“Pleasure—and one asks me to help her with English, and I go ‘ _no can do I got the new guy to take care of_ ’ and they notice Haru.”

I put my hands out as a signal of ‘ _y’see so far?_ ’ and Sousuke nodded.

“And then Haru goes all…okay, here’s the thing—” I leaned forward a bit, an incredulous sort of smile working its way across my face as I start to describe him. “You think he’s all strong-and-silent type, right?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, sure.”

“Yeah, _no_ ,” I leaned back with a growing smirk, shaking my head microscopically. “Weird as hell—not even petal-pickin’,” I got my fingers out to count Haru’s ways. “He’s breached classrooms and did whatever—went and got his hand dirty-as in the art room tryna sketch a tree or something,” I recalled, skimming over the clean-and-hold-hand-and-heart- _doki_ - _doki_ part as I went for the second finger. “The guy’s stripped _twice_ today—”

“ _Twice_?”

“ _Twice_ ,” I grinned at sharing the ridiculous bullshit as I waved my hand. “Once when I told him ‘bout the collar thing, second time when we visited the pool, dear Christ,” I chuckled at remembering how much of a stubborn _kid_ he was, then continued. “Like, he’s either pretty quiet or he’s _out_ there, if y’know what I mean,” I shot my arm in the direction of the window with a laugh. “And for lunch, out of everything they got he only got fish and rice, like tryna live off of something, and he goes ‘ _oh but I have water too_ ’, like ‘ _oh you did get water, A-plus_ ’.” I held back a little snort, since Haru looked so content with his plain lunch it just seemed funny.

“…Then, what about the girls?”

I looked to Sousuke breaking out of my thoughts, and I realised my stomach had felt light before it plunged with the swirl again.

“Well…that’s the thing,” I combed through my hair again, feeling more sluggish now. “‘Cause I had to work my ass makin’ sure he wasn’t too weird or he talked a bit—the whole way down to the pool, I was just talking and he said nothing—like, sure, be polite, but give a guy a bone, will you?” I shook my head, and frowned when I pocketed my hand. “And then with the girls…it was like,” I lowered my head. “Like he was a cooler, more normal guy. So much easier to deal with, being all nice and _then_ some to the girls…”

Sousuke looked confused for a moment. “You mean he made a move on them?”

I scoffed. “ _Basically_ ,” I let out a sigh as I crossed my arms. “He was all like ‘ _please call me Haru, though,_ ’” I mimicked a light, dramatic voice backed with that heavy swirl. “‘ _It’s…embarrassing, otherwise._ ’” I put the back of my hand to my cheek in that shy manga protag way, but pretty soon I was just listing off Haru’s annoying moments. “Just letting people say his name, but as if it matters—holding nice, chill conversation—offering ‘em a seat to hold _more_ nice chill conversation—goin’ all ‘ _I like to make things_ ’ like _wow_ aren’t you just deep? And even—”

I remembered Haru’s voice, and I clenched my teeth. I didn’t care about the look Sousuke gave me for a moment.

“And even?”

“—And even when it comes to hair?” my voice rose a bit as I gave a really dry smile, but that swirl made it hard to hold back. “Like, it’s just _hair_. If there’s shit in people’s hair, there’s shit in people’s hair—he doesn’t hafta go around, helping everyone with shit in their hair…!” I swallowed my voice from raising further. I wanted to say so much more, but my throat felt kinda closed up, so I leaned back against the desk again. I didn’t even know I un-leaned from it in the first place.

Sousuke leaned back in his chair. “So, Nanase touched this girl’s hair?”

I drew the scene up again in my mind, how Haru had raised his hand. My scowl settled into a deep pout. “…No. He didn’t, but,” I shifted my arms a bit. “But it was just—I—” I got my hand out to speak again, but I stared at the palm I used to hold Haru’s hand with a swallow first. “—It kinda shows you the type of guy he is?” I said, finding the words as I tapped my foot. “Like, he’s just—really _indifferent_? Treats everyone the same, like no one really matters, and that…that really bothers me,” I gradually quieted, digging my fingertips into my palm. “People like that—like him…they bother me.”

The swirl felt less violent, but it seemed to seep from my stomach into my blood, throughout my body as I started to feel…upset. Upset, of all things.

I wanted to pipe up that it didn’t matter—because it didn’t. Why would Haru matter anyway, right? Because he didn’t. I wanted to shrug off that morphing swirl with a laugh and tease Sousuke if he was gonna accept the bento butterfly as a proposal, and he wouldn’t keep looking at me with that slight worry like he was…

Instead, I kind of slumped more against the desk. The hand I held Haru’s with pricked and I still felt that vague, confusing upset. And, just because I hated myself, I went over this morning at the cherry blossom, in class—morning and at lunch—the art room, the pool, the canteen…and each time I saw Haru’s in my mind’s eye, my hand stung more, and the upset grew to my chest.

“—Hey, Rin?”

I blinked out of my remembering to Sousuke waving a bit, talking to me. I didn’t even hear him till now.

“Yeah?” I scratched my head, burying the stinging into my hair as I paid attention.

Sousuke draped an arm back over his chair, relaxing now that I was listening. “Even though I left before the girls came, I think Nanase was just trying to be polite. It’s normal to try to be nice to strangers on your first day, after all.”

Sousuke’s voice had a deeper, more patient quality. But it didn’t mean I accepted it so easily.

“Yeah, but isn’t there some…unspoken limit, thing?” I asked, frowning as I crossed my own arms. “As in—there’s being nice, and there’s being _nice_?” I put my hands out as if pointing out the extra nice, and Sousuke closed an eye to scratch by his ear.

“Well, if Nanase was really into the girls’ conversation, you might be right.”

I quickly recalled how Haru acted during the girls’ giggling. “Well—he was giving like, one-or-two sentence responses,” I considered, before my stomach churned again. “But, it’s just the _amount_? He just kept talking without problems, and this whole morning and afternoon it’s been me starting every conversation, and just—”

“Did he start most of the conversations?” Sousuke asked me, and I looked to him rocking a little on the hind legs of his chair. “With the girls?”

I opened my mouth to blurt out ‘ _my god, yes_ ’, but then I actually took pause. “…I…not really, I don’t think…” I murmured, and I felt my brow draw together. “He didn’t really ask them questions or anything—besides, like, offering them to sit.”

“Mm,” Sousuke planted his elbows on his desk, leaning his chin on his fingers. “If he was only responding, I’m pretty sure he was being polite,” he considered, starting to close his eyes. “Same with offering them to sit, I think,” he looked up to me while laying out his thoughts. “Hair thing, too, if there really was paint in the girl’s hair. That stuff can be noticeable.”

I was gonna cut in and say I hadn’t noticed it, but from jumping back to that moment repeatedly, I remembered some faint, green splotch on the girl’s fringe.

“I…maybe…” I admitted softly. “But—”

“Also,” Sousuke slid his thumbs to his chin, and put his fingers over his lips in that classic pondering gesture. “With the talking, it might be ‘cause you talked more than you actually asked him things,” Sousuke was guessing, but it made me go through my conversations with Haru like a backlog. “Maybe the girls were all for favourite subjects, and you were—I dunno—talking about your regimen or something.”

I clammed up— _damn_ , right on the money.

I hugged my torso and pointed my gaze away. “That—might have been…how it went…”

Sousuke chuckled, and I made a sour face. “All things considered, I don’t think you’ve anything to worry about, Rin,” he sounded reassuring, and he pushed himself back with a stretch. “Even when I came in, Nanase kept giving me looks when we were talking—not bad looks, but he nearly put me on the spot with his staring.”

“What, really?” I cocked a brow, pretty surprised by that—I thought he’d just been nibbling on his mackerel to himself. But then I realised something else Sousuke’d just said, and I got a little confused. “And what’s there to worry about?”

Sousuke noticed my confusion, though I could tell he stopped himself from saying something. Instead, he just shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Hey, c’mon,” I whined a little, going over to nudge his shin with my foot. “Tell me what’s up.”

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing,” he swatted away my leg with that knowing smile of his again. I pouted at how he was holding back his thoughts like that, and he let out a huff that I’d won. “You feel pissed that he’s indifferent—treats everyone the same, yeah?”

“Well…” I rocked my head on my shoulders. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” Sousuke picked up his bento and popped it in his desk tray. “He acts the weirdest around you, though—stripping twice is something most people wouldn’t be able deal with, but you seem to take it in stride.”

I considered this further, still listening to Sousuke. “Well…I guess if you put it that way…”

“Mm,” he nodded, and I felt the swirl lighten up. “Just ‘cause he acts differently around the girls doesn’t mean he’s more comfortable,” he reasoned, and he put his hands up. “Like, hey, you’d have to be pretty comfy with a guy to strip twice in front of them on your first day, I think.”

A small, yet real chuckle slipped out from me. “Yeah…”

“And with the conversation thing, who knows,” he looked at me with an innocent sort of pout. “Maybe Nanase likes hearing your voice.”

Okay, not like I was some old lady, but indignation _did_ choke up my throat. “Th- _That’s_ …!”

“So that’s why I don’t think you have to worry,” he gave me a little smile while I pressed my lips together after his tease. “About him being indifferent.”

“…Ahh, whatever…”

Sousuke laughed a bit before I could round on him, so I just grumbled under my breath instead. I only stopped my grumbling when I heard Sousuke hum, in that thoughtful sort of way. “You never did tell me how you jumped to first-name terms with Nanase already.”

After lightly coughing out any embarrassment from remembering the way Haru said my name, I told him about how I caught him murmuring it when it was my turn on the register. Then how at lunch I teased him about it, he asked if I wouldn’t mind, and one thing led to another.

“So yeah,” I scratched over my chest, sniffing after the recollection. “We pretty much gave consent to go for given names.”

Sousuke was nodding diligently the whole time, then started to speak up in that serious tone of his. “You know something else that needs important consent?”

My heads was kinda in the clouds since I was thinking of going back to Haru now, but I managed to tune in enough to say, “Dunno—what?”

He looked up with a glint in his eye. “Marriage.”

“Wha— _Sousuke_?!” my mouth fell open and I’m pretty sure I lit up. “It—I—it’s just using each other’s _names_ , what—?!”

“Or sex—but marriage is more long-term.”

“WHAT—Holy shit, _shut up_ …!” I went over to kick the nerves out of Sousuke’s shin, but he deflected me while humming in some _stupidass_ thought. “Stop fuckin’ noddin’ to yourself, piece of shit…!!”

“Though marriage also involves sex, so consent is doubly important—”

“ _Shut—the—fuck—up_ —!!”

* * *

By the time I came out of 2B and had fully abused Sousuke’s shin with my foot, I’d already thanked him with a fist-bump and left for the canteen. Others were gradually coming back up since lunch was ending, so when I started going down the steps a lot of people were already in their classrooms, though there was still a couple of minutes.

I felt better after talking with Sousuke—he really helped put everything into perspective. He was really good at that, I really needed it—I didn’t want to feel sick and upset the whole day.

Thinking about it, I felt increasingly guilty that I just left Haru down at the canteen. Not that I thought he couldn’t handle himself, but just the act of ditching him as his aide for his new school and everything, just because he was getting along with a couple of girls…

 _Man_ , was I an asshole.

I’d reached the platform between two flights of stairs—y’know, the place in the stairwell that sorta contains that middle floor, with walls and a window—while going over my assholery.

Just as I was mentally preparing my apology, Haru showed up.

“—Rin.”

My pace stuttered as Haru emerged at the foot of the steps. I realised Haru was breathing a touch more noticeably as he looked up at me.

“Haru?” I watched up climb up the flight to the middle platform, so we were standing on the same level. “Hey, are you outta breath?” I asked, kinda worried his cheeks were a bit flushed.

“No, well,” he swallowed a little. “The girls didn’t really let me leave, so I thought I was late…I couldn’t find my way up to the classrooms until now,” he explained, his breaths calming. “I also…tried to find you.”

He glanced away when he murmured that, and I felt like a heaping pile of shit.

“…Hey,” I came a little closer than our couple-metre distance, but my hand was still a little shy for his shoulder. “Listen, I—”

“You seemed upset,” Haru interrupted me, but I stopped to listen anyway. “When you left, and…I was thinking…why you could have been…”

He was still his sparse-expression self, but…something was twingeing it. Beneath it, in the minuscule furrow of his brow, his worry became more and more clear to me, and so was his difficulty in expressing that. I tried to think of something to say, but he took another, small breath and continued.

“Is it because I’m a burden?”

“Wha—?!”

He asked straight-forwardly, looking at me to check facts. He didn’t seem upset, but assuming I’d think of him like that was just…!

“—No!” I shook my head more and more, frowning at how ridiculous that was. “You’re no burden, what—I _like_ showing you around!”

“…I see.” he sighed that out of a tiny relief he thought I couldn’t catch, and I ground my teeth.

“Hey, don’t think stupid things— _I_ was the one who was being an ass,” I finally said, and went on even though he started to look confused. “You did nothing wrong, I…I just left you, because—” Ah _crap_ , I said ‘because’. I jerked my head away from Haru’s curious stare, and I felt like some shitty kid as I mumbled through hot cheeks. “You…you seemed fine without me—with the girls so…”

I took a wary peek at him, my hands dug deep into my pockets as he was looking down, thinking.

“…You left when they were asking me about art,” he noticed, and I clenched my trousers. “Do you want me to draw something for you?”

“N- _No_ , you don’t needa draw me anything…!”

A fresh ray of sun seeped through the overhead window, and it lit his small pout. “So why—”

“— _I left ‘cause you…_ you…!” I probably startled Haru, but I reined myself in to find the right wording with a sharp sigh. “This is so _stupid_ — _the hair!_ The hair thing!”

Dear god, he frowned a little more. “Hair thing?”

“Y- _Y’know_ —the girl! The paint! Hair thing!”

It looked like he remembered, but I hadn’t really calmed down. “…Oh?”

“Yeah, _oh_!” I said with my stupid resentment, but I wasn’t even angry with Haru—I was more ( _completely_ ) frustrated with myself. “It made me upset—I dunno why! You with the girl and the paint and the hair thing, it…it made me upset…”

It sounded so dumb when I admitted that out loud—as if Haru actually offended me by being nice to someone else, how dumb _was_ I—that I actually pulled up my collar to try to hide my face. My cheeks felt clamped, so they were probably red again—I was supposed to help this guy out but I was just so _embarrassing_ and _lame_ and just some jealous piece of—

…

Wait.

Jealous?

My eyes flew open when he touched my sleeve. My neck craned up to see his mulling, intent gaze.

“Then,” he was murmuring now, prying my wrist gently so my collar fell down to my neck again. “Should I touch only Rin’s hair…?”

I felt my eyes grow a little wider, to let the emerging sunlight in and Haru’s deep blue attention. He was close now—just a foot away from me. Just a foot away where I could see everything—his smooth, slightly knitted brow, his head tilted the slightest. Everything was small, slight, subtle. Bright as his eyes searched over me, and when they started to lid something inside me went so _loud_ in our quiet stare.

Warming, firm touch—deep, resounding heart—dark, shrouding hair—smooth, light skin—lips in the smallest ‘o’—

_Pretty._

The tardy bell chimed throughout the walls.

I blinked at him, he blinked at me. And when he blinked at me, my skin broke out into a cold sweat.

My thoughts caught up with my brain, and I jerked away with _nervousnervousnervous_ exploding in my senses.

“ _Wha—I— **you** —!!_” my mouth flapped, but sound had to be forced out of my squawky throat. Haru’s soft words sprinted through my brain—that he’d touch only my hair. “Th-Th-That’s— _That’s so dumb!_ ” I managed to choke out, my face was probably broken with blood as I stomped up the steps, off the middle platform. “ _You’re so dumb, Haru_ …!!”

I looked back to snap at him to hurry up, but he did it again. He nodded, and disarmed me with that tiny, breathtaking smile again.

I tried to take a breath to calm myself, but it was all shaky and trembling as I spun on my heel and went up to class. My voice had echoed a little in the stairwell, but it didn’t reach the corridors. I should’ve been grateful, but at that time I couldn’t think properly.

I only thought of soft and bright—of Haru’s touch, his voice, his lips—wrapping my mind in a chokehold, starving me of common sense as my head flooded with a shameful heat.

I heard a little sniff, and turned to Haru with a terse, “What?”

“You…smell different,” he muttered, lingering by my shoulder. “Vanilla.”

“That’s—” I found myself staring at his mouth, and yanked my head away. “D-Doesn’t matter—we’re gonna be late, so hurry.”

I walked briskly up the stairs, up to 2A. Every window I passed by had a splotch of red, and I realised that every time that splotch was my face.

And I only remembered single words and one phrase as we came up to 2A, as we bowed to the teacher for our tardiness and sat down for Chemistry. And I don’t think I could’ve handled all the whispers of how red and ill I looked, if I could hear or care.

_JealousPrettyJealousPrettySoUtterlyPretty_

‘ _You’d tell me if you were gay, yeah?_ ’

I sunk into my seat with my tightening chest, blinking at Haru’s broad, relaxed back.

But that wasn't when I fell in love with him.

What? It was just my first day, after all. No, it took my second year of high school for me to fall head-over-heels in love with Nanase Haruka, even though I came pretty close a couple of times along the way.

That was just the day I realised I wanted to kiss him.


	7. Chapter 005.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin has already changed into casual clothes—tank top and sweats—and is lying on his bunk blankly staring up at the bottom of the top bunk, blinking with a permanent flush on his cheeks. Sousuke hasn’t returned yet, leaving Rin to reflect on the day’s events, focally on his realisation with Haru and trying to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Key:**  
>  _italics_ = thoughts  
>  () = stage directions  
> [] = recall/flashback  
>  **{}** = imagination

****[Sousuke was nodding diligently the whole time, then started to speak up in that serious tone of his. ‘You know something else that needs important consent?’

He looked up with a glint in his eye. ‘Marriage.’]

RIN:    (indignantly rolling on bunk, filled with denial) NOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!    
          No.  
 _Noo_ no no no!  
 _No_!   
          Nuh-uh, nope, no way.  
          ...

[‘Or sex—but marriage is more long-term.’]

RIN:    (vaguely yells into pillow)

 _  
_(SOUSUKE enters)

  
SOUSUKE:  How do you vaguely yell into a pillow? And what happened to you describing things?  
RIN:           (pulls pillow away from face, muttering) Point-five chapter, so it's a different layout—nothing to do about it.  
SOUSUKE:  True. (frowns) You don’t look so hot, Rin.  
RIN:           (rolls to face away) ‘M fine...

(pause)

SOUSUKE:  ...I’ll go change, then.  
RIN:           You do that.

(Sousuke gets his change of clothes. Rin eventually rolls back again.)

RIN:           I’ll—  
SOUSUKE:  (turns from entering the bathroom) Yeah?  
RIN:           ...I’ll tell you later. When you’re out.  
SOUSUKE:  ...Alright.

(SOUSUKE exits) 

RIN: _...I guess I’ll have to think this over, while I wait..._  
          ...  
 _Does this count as coming out of the closet?  
_ _...I_ ** _think_** _it does? I didn't even know I was in the closet to begin with...  
_ _I mean, it's sudden—I start my first day, and I meet this guy at this cherry blossom tree...I find he goes to my school...I help him_  
           _'round a while, shit happens_ —and now, **_now_** _I feel like I wanna ki—  
_ _...  
_ _...Ki—_  
          _Kis_ —!  
          (buries blush into pillow) _No good—it’s too embarrassing...!!  
_ _—And w_ _hy am I thinking of such weird shit only after_ ** _one_** _day, anyway...?!  
..._  
 _B-But..._  
           _This would be the first time I..._  (hugs pillow closer) _I've felt this way, guy_ **or**  girl...  
          ...  
 _Would it be nice?_  
 _It'd be nice, wouldn't it? It'd have to be._  
          _I-I mean, it's just...ki...kissing._  
    _Not that I'd do it with someone I don't really love—_  
 _—AND NOT THAT I REALLY LOVE HARU, OR ANYTHING—_  
 _—But...it doesn't seem so hard._  
           _It's just lips. Pressing them...with my lips..._  
 _—Yeah, it'd be easy. Not hard at all._  
 _...And...it wouldn't be **hard** either. I don't think._  
 _As in...soft._  
 _It'd be soft, definitely._  
 _..._  
 _His mouth looks soft, anyway...like, if I pressed it, it would bounce back a little. But softly._  
 _—Though, his **face** seems soft, but everything else...looks...hard. Not-soft._  
 _He looked well-built, at the pool—when he basically stripped._  
 _But other than that, he looks all soft. Even his hand was, too._  
 _Also warm...a nice sorta warm. A lil slim, but not really girly.  
He'd be good with his hands, I think..._  
 _..._  
 _...I..._  
 _...I wanna hold his hand a bit more..._  
 _...M-Maybe kiss it._  
 _It...It'd seem nice—that's what gentlemen and princes do, anyway, according to...TV and manga, or whatever—_  
  
 _—WAIT, ISN'T THIS TOO SOON?_  
  
 _I...I don't even know if he **likes** me—_  
 _—Wait, **more** than that—I don't even know if I even like him that much! It's just been a  **day** —I barely know the guy...!!_  
 _Just 'cause I wanna...maybe, kiss him, and...hold his **hand** , or whatever..._  
 _—I-It doesn't mean I **like** him so much! That's all superficial! That just means I find him a-attractive or whatever...!_  
 _I mean, he **is** an attractive guy...but, I don't know what he really  **likes—** his personality, the stuff that counts!_  
 _...Though, I know he likes swimming. Probably a lot, since he basically stripped for it._  
 _Well, I like swimming too, so there's something..._  
 _I wonder how much he likes it? What strokes does he swim?_  
 _Does he train for it? Would he be fast?_  
 _Maybe not as fast as me—the only guy I know that measures up to me is Sousuke, but that's only for butterfly._  
 _I guess I'll find out soon enough, at the time trials when the swim club starts up again._  
 _..._  
 _—But, he looks strong. He should be pretty fast._  
 _He seems really determined, too. I mean, it was kinda annoying, but he was passionate, at least..._

[He grabbed my wrist, and dammit he looked resolved. 'I'll let you swim with me.']

           _Thinking about that moment...he looked...kinda..._  
          ...  
          ...  
          ...  
          _hot_.  
          ...  
          ...  
          ...  
           _Maybe._

 **{** Haru steeped in light wearing only a swimsuit, his strong back facing Rin's vision. He's turning back the slightest, his eye looking a brighter blue than usual under his dark, shining hair. His voice seems smoother, richer with a faint echo.

" _Rin..._ " **}**

          (breath hitches, cheeks darken) _Th-That wouldn't happen, wha—!!_  
 _That—That's too—there's no **way** Haru would be like that!! All...All  **cool** , o-or whatever, saying my name like that...!  
_ _No way he'd be like that...  
 _...__  
 _...Th-Though—_  
          _I don't know...what he'd be like...I hardly know him..._  
 _So maybe, I-I dunno..._ (shyly traces along pillow)  _h-he could be something like that..._

 **{** Haru tilts his head back more, showing his gentle, expectant expression.

 _"Rin,_ " his whisper resounds, and his smile grows with the twinkle in his eyes. " _Come swim with me._ " **}**

          _Man,_ _Haru's so..._ (sighs) _He'd be so..._  
          (suddenly chokes up)  _—Wh-What the hell, NO...!!_  
          (rolls around with pillow, cheeks flaming) _NO, NO,_ **_NO_** ,  _WHAT **IS** THISSSSS...?!!  
          _ _I needa get my shit together—there's no way in **hell** that would happen!!_

(hissing) Dammit, just—calm down, me...!

SOUSUKE:  (from top bunk) I guess that means you're not sleeping.  
RIN:           WHA—Sousuke?! (frantically sits up) You finished changing?!  
SOUSUKE:  Yeah. (takes out earphones) About 5 minutes ago.

(by the way, SOUSUKE entered)

RIN:           What's with these late stage directions...?  
SOUSUKE:  Supposed to show you just noticed me, I guess. (rests head on hands) Mind telling me what's going on, then?  
RIN:           ...Yeah. (sits on edge of bunk) Yeah, no, I don't mind. _  
_

(long pause)

RIN:            _Dammit, he's not even trying to rush me, or anything...he's too patient for my sorry ass._  
                 (clenches edge of mattress) _I'm stalling too much—I don't have time to be weak! It's now or never!  
_  ...Sousuke...

SOUSUKE:  Oh, thought you fell asleep.  
RIN:           Wha—?! Goddammit,  _no_ , I didn't! Just— (sighs roughly) Listen, alright? It's important...  
SOUSUKE:  (raises brows, tunes in more) Sure.  
RIN:           Okay...Okay, I...alright, this  _is_  pretty sudden, but hear me out—  
                 ...  
                 ...  
SOUSUKE:  You okay, Rin?  
RIN:           —I'm fine. I'm fine, just...  
                 ...  
                 I'm...I think I'm...gay. B-But I'm not—  
SOUSUKE:  (sits up) —Damn, what did Nanase do?  
RIN:           Wha—hey!! (surprised spluttering) You—don't just—!  
SOUSUKE:  (confused) Hm?  
RIN:           (more embarrassed than offended) D-Don't just jump to conclusions—like you know it's Nanase right off the bat!  
                 I mean—be more surprised, will you...?! O-Or consoling, or something!  
SOUSUKE:  ...Consoling... (puts fingers to chin, thinking) ...Alright. Do it again.  
RIN:           H-Huh?  
SOUSUKE:  (lies down again, mimics old position) Tell me you're gay again. I'll react better this time.  
RIN:           Uh...okay...? (scratches head) I...think I'm gay?  
SOUSUKE:  (sits up slowly, voice is deeply dramatic) ...Rin...  
RIN:           Oh god.  
SOUSUKE:  Is...Is it true?  
RIN:           (dryly) Yes.  
SOUSUKE:  You are... (leans down from bunk) Of the gay?  
RIN:           Oh my god—I don't know! It's just been a day, after all...  
SOUSUKE:  ...Well, in any case... (goes back to lie down again) Know that I accept and respect you however—whether you're homo, or not—  
RIN:           Oh my  _god_.  
SOUSUKE:  You'll be my—no, not just my bro.  
RIN:           Sousuke—  
SOUSUKE:  You'll be—  
RIN:           Sousuke, stop—  
SOUSUKE:  (eye glints) My bromo.  
RIN:           ...  
SOUSUKE:  If you're homo, that is.  
RIN:           —I swear to god, I will  _punch_  you so hard.  
SOUSUKE:  (voice returns to normal) I'll make note. (lies back down) So, what did Nanase do?  
RIN:           (lies down to hug pillow) Well...I was going down the stairs, heading for the canteen, and...

And that's how Sousuke came to learn of Rin's budding crush, and consequently became his 'like' advisor (since Rin refused to use the word love). In the bishoujo heroine's inadvertent quest for romance, the sidekick has to helm important responsibilities, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning this point-five chapter to be how it turned out just now, but just before starting it I found [the most awesome fanart](http://papasuke.co.vu/post/94253063207/bishoujo-heroine-rin-gives-me-life) by [thora-hathi](http://papasuke.co.vu) :') It was like fuel for my shoujo heart, as well as perfect to turn into an actual moment in my fic :D


	8. Chapter 006

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bishoujo heroine undergoes the first week of their [attraction to/crush on/'whatever they want to call it' of] the ever cool love interest.
> 
> Alternative chapter title: Operation: _Hot for Haru_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before I was about to nap I checked my comments and I received [fanart of the first chapter](http://s12.photobucket.com/user/funeralbitch/media/ADVENTURES.jpg.html) by [L_Monster](http://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Monster) and I kinda had to go like _contain the feels idk how but hold them in_ 'cause flipping out before you're supposed to nap and chill out kinda defeats the purpose but yeah anyway I'm really happy :D
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! \o/

So, a bit too easily, I became attracted to Nanase Haruka.

Now, it’s important to note that while I was _attracted_ to him, it was different to liking or _loving_ him—I knew next to nothing about the guy, after all. All I knew was that he just…kinda distracted me. With his face. At times.

I mean, as much as I really do like a person only when I get to know them, it helps if they’re, uh, easy on the eyes. So to speak. No way to get around saying that without sounding like some shallow jerk, but you get what I mean.

Luckily, Sousuke got what I meant when I told him. From almost the very beginning he was on my side, helping behind the scenes as my like doctor (if we used love I’d burst into either laughter or tears…probably tears).

But anyway, Sousuke consistently helped me out along the way. And right off the bat, he gave me some solid advice that probably saved me from a lot of embarrassment.

“Even if you don’t know if he likes guys or not yet,” he said. “Be his friend first.”

He stated it while relaxing on the top bunk, tossing and catching some football-patterned stress ball. Solid advice, but, as a greenhorn, I had to ask my questions.

“But, what about all that stuff to do with the friendzone, or whatever…?”

I probably looked kinda pathetic—hugging my pillow, rocking on my bunk, blushing about the new transfer student. But I had to go through the ropes somehow—Haru was my first crush, and with each passing minute I didn’t know whether to feel admiration or dread about the whole thing. I was filled with this buzzing energy that I didn’t know how to channel besides dreaming about Haru and…hugging or _kissing_ him and— _first crush_ stuff, alright? All I had were a mess of feelings I wanted to act on.

But Sousuke, he was my rock. He reminded me of some whale shark—a wise, cool-headed, hugeass creature, minus the (꒪⌓꒪) face. Like, the thing was, he could get you just by thinking about it—by putting himself in your shoes, even if he’d never gone through what you were going through before. But he was also a third-party, he having a common sense that I didn’t when it came to my liking Haru. So after a few beats of silence, he responded to my friendzone question.

“…Being Nanase’s friend won’t trap you or your chances,” he said eventually, catching his stress ball. “If you really like him, you’d focus on him more as a person—less as someone that you want to hook up with from the start,” he took another pause, letting his next words come with a toss. “It’s best if these things come naturally anyway, so be his friend first.”

I lulled my rocking and took in Sousuke’s words. “… _Damn_.”

“Mm,” he said simply, and kept playing with his stress ball again. “You’re in his class, so it should be easy—you could probably help him with schoolwork first, or something.”

I hopped off my bed and climbed up the ladder to the his bunk, so I could peek at him in awe. “Hey Sousuke,” I said, wide-eyed as I poked his shoulder. “When’d you get so smart?”

“I’m not smart,” he snorted a bit, and swatted away my hand. “You’re just losing it over Nanase.”

I didn’t feel like praising him anymore after he said that, so I slinked back to my bunk. “Shut up…”

With his advice in mind, I figured my way around the ways I could be Haru’s friend—there was definitely schoolwork, for one. He mentioned English was his worst subject, so I could help him on that…

—Wait, but what if he doesn’t ask for help? Like, what if he’s all stiff-lipped and proud with his studies? He seems the type to be quiet about his struggles, so that wouldn’t help. I started to think about this issue: should I slip in some more English when he’s around, so he knows who to go to for help? When could I do that, though…?

 _Oh_ —what about in general? Like, generally looking smarter so Haru would notice me—my academic performance _is_ one of my strong suits, even though I don’t look the booky type.

Maybe I should get glasses?

Just some black frames—nicely rimmed, square-ish maybe. They look good on models, and I could get one that doesn’t have any prescription—if I wore them around Haru, he’d notice for sure. Then he’d ask if I usually wear glasses, then I could say I use them to read and study at times—maybe he’ll wanna ask to hang out for lunch or something, then he’d catch me breezing through a pretty difficult book on the English reading list—glasses and all. Then, _bam_ , realise that while I’m hot, I’m _also_ smart! Then, he might be a _little_ shy when he asks, but I’ll help him out without question! Damn— _oh_ —maybe! Maybe I should practise taking off glasses coolly, like in those anime with megane characters or whatever! One fell glasses-swoop, and I’ll steal away Haru’s heart with my—!

“—And, Rin, be yourself,” Sousuke broke into my thoughts, and I stopped practising tugging off my invisible square-ish glasses. “Last thing you should do is make yourself look different for his sake.”

Crap. “…Not even glasses?”

“You’ve perfect vision,” I could hear Sousuke’s little frown. “Why would you need glasses?”

“…Uh…to look smart?” I reasoned and, okay, I could kinda understand Sousuke’s sigh after I said that out loud, but I felt defensive anyway. “But—what if he doesn’t ask for help or anything?”

“Offer.”

“…But—what if I keep offering and he finds me annoying?”

“Don’t keep offering—offer when he needs it.”

“…Oh…” I laid down, but shot back up. “—But how do I know if he needs it?”

“It should be obvious when he’s stuck on something—you sit behind him, don’t you?”

“…True…” I rubbed my pillow a bit. “— _Wait_ , but what if he’s actually awesome at English and I embarrass myself?!”

“You said it was his worst subject.”

“I _know_ , but what if Haru has crazy-high standards and—!”

“Rin,” Sousuke leaned over from his bunk. “The gym’s open. Go take your run.”

Looking back, I oughta thank Sousuke for continually putting up with my bullshit.

But throughout my run and some weightlifting—just some curls, since Sousuke didn’t spot me that day—I thought of nothing but his advice, while wondering if Haru was at the pool at that moment.

_Friends first…friends first._

—Now, note, while I _did_ focus on being Haru’s friend first, it wasn’t like I couldn’t put more care into my appearance. Y’know, to try to up my self-confidence, or (better yet) get some of his attention.

So after my lil workout, I had my wallet on me and a mall complex with a healthcare store not even quarter of an hour’s walk away. I picked up some moisturiser, extra deo, cola-flavoured lip balm, some promising hair gel—just a few of products I thought I would need later.

So, here’s how _Operation: Hot for Haru_ went that week:

* * *

I got up about half an hour earlier than usual, so I could slot in my self-makeover. I already had some idea of what to try—nothing too out-there, since it was uniform, but some important touches that would probably take a bit of time to look right.

So I went about my usual thing: freshening up, bathroom stuff, uniform, ponytail, yadda yadda—the default look. However, this time, I had my newly bought stuff laid out at the sink, and I had my hand on the hair gel to twist it open and—

“Rin?”

“ _Shit—!_ ”

I nearly dropped my hair gel from the sudden twist of the knob I’d locked. Sousuke knocked while I clutched my chest from the quiet suddenly breaking.

“What’re you doing up so early?”

“ _Uh_ —nothing! It’s cool!” I called through the bathroom door, and had to hastily set down my hair gel to open the door. He looked a little confused when I came out sheepish. “Just wanted to try some stuff to look good this morning, heh…”

I noticed Sousuke was still in his PJs—baggy shirt and shorts—and had his towel and uniform draped over his arm. _Dammit_ , I’d forgotten that he takes morning showers.

His eyes opened a little from their morning droop when he saw me decked out for school already, but he just rubbed the heel of his palm over his brow with a held back yawn. “I’ll let you go first, then…”

“— _Ah_ , wait, you don’t needa—” I sidled out of the bathroom quickly, thumbing to the door I just left. “I’m already done—go take your shower.”

As much as I wanted to try out my mini-makeover, Sousuke would’ve been late if I didn’t let him start his shower. So, not that I minded, I didn’t get to try out any look that day.

* * *

I let out a tiny yawn in class—like a slightly-longer inhale. I wasn’t terribly sleepy, but I did lose a bit of extra sleep for nothing.

“Tired?”

I blinked out of my lil yawn, and saw Haru looking back at me with his elbow slung over his chair. Even though he had the same deadpan curiosity, my heart couldn’t help a little leap at his concern.

Damn the smile that worked across my face, but what was a guy to do? “Ah—a bit, but it’s all good!”

“Mm,” his eyes went down a moment—ugh, they were so _blue_ , what the fuck.

There was about a minute until class restarted, so there wasn’t much time to idly chat. I felt a little dumb for wanting to spring a bunch of conversation starters, but before the next teacher came in he looked at me again.

“Can I borrow a pen?”

Okay, that kinda made go like ‘ _what really?_ ’. “It’s been like three lessons already…”

“Mine ran out of ink.” he held it between his fingers, and I peeked over his desk

“You only have one pen?” I lowered a brow—his desk was completely bare save for his books.

He nodded. “I forgot my pencil case in my room.”

I couldn’t help my sigh—I mean, that was just being unprepared. Though it wasn’t like I was his mom or anything, so I held back any chiding I could’ve done.

I rifled through my pencil case to let him borrow something for the day—as if I could refuse him, if I even wanted to—digging through my decent load of pens and pencils, mechanical and wooden alike. A few seconds in, I paused at my favourite one—a red click-pen with the smoothest black ink around.

Not that it’s huge to me, but the feel of writing on paper with a good pen _is_ a really comfortable feeling—not to mention the lil dynamics when it comes to pen-lending; you don’t hand out your best stationery to just anyone, after all.

But, Haru was a bit more than just anyone, and I wanted to get on his good side. So…

I pulled out my favourite pen, but I looked away while holding it out. “Here…” I felt him pull it out between my fingers, and I already had second doubts as he thanked me in his quiet way. “—Just so you know, I like that pen,” I mentioned, off-handedly but kinda not. “So you better give it back, alright?”

I hoped he got it when he nodded, so I didn’t bother reminding him when we ate lunch together—it’s a thing now, us eating lunch together! I’d spend the first half with him and then the last half with Sousuke—though sometimes Haru wouldn’t say much, but I was already kinda pumped he’d let me share lunchtime with him. Like, first half of lunch I’d spend it with Haru, then he’d finish up and go back up to class early—mackerel and rice doesn’t take long to finish—and the later half I’d spend with Sousuke finishing my meal and talking about Haru.

Although, strictly speaking, since I was his guide I kinda _had_ to accompany him…but anyway, guess what happened right after classes had finished?

* * *

“Here.”

There he was, holding out my pen after-school before we left for dorms.

He remembered! He wasn’t one of those jerks that forgot about stuff they borrowed! And here I’d thought he’d just forget and be a typical pen-hoarder, but it turned out he was way nicer than that!

I mean, not that it was a massive deal, or anything…but it was something!

Without needing to turn, I noticed Sousuke was waiting at the school building exit. I mentally thanked him before focusing my attention on Haru.

“Ah, thanks.”

Our fingers might’ve been close to brushing when he gave it back—not that I was paying attention to that, or whatever.

“…Thanks for lending it. It—” he trailed off when I perked up, and he looked like he was thinking of something. “…It’s a good pen…”

I blinked because I got excited over him praising my pen.

“Oh yeah, it’s my favourite…” I twirled it between my fingers a couple of times, before looking to Haru’s curious face again. I kinda felt like a loser for getting so giddy over small talk, but I _still_ couldn’t stop smiling when I replied. “If you forget your stuff again, I’ll lend you it, no problem.”

“Ah…thanks.”

“It’s nothin’—!” I coughed a little after I let the words out, because it came out a little high-pitched. I wondered how shiny the sun made his black hair seem, before I rubbed the sense back into my head. “Though, uh, you probably should remember your stuff from now on—first week impressions and all that…”

“…True.” he nodded, and I held back from looking him in the eye too much when he opened them. They were like some hypnotic vortex of blue—completely dangerous.

I felt the conversation go stagnant with a swallow of disappointment, and I got torn between bringing up something to drag it out a little longer and keeping Sousuke waiting at the exit. I _think_ I might’ve gone for the first option, though my mouth just hung open ‘cause he was just…looking. At me.

The angle of the sun was all messed up on his pretty face again, so I had to close my mouth and let out some cough of a laugh instead. “Well, uh, I—” I thumbed over to where Sousuke was waiting. “Gotta go now, um… _I’ll_ —I’ll see ya tomorrow!”

“Ah,” he gave me a little wave. “See you, Rin.”

Dammit, I _really_ liked how he said my name.

Though I couldn’t just stand there rocking on my heels all stupid anymore—I turned around to join Sousuke for the dorms, since Haru’s dorm was in the opposite direction. Of the two guy dorm blocks out of a total of four in the school, Haru had to get the one across campus from mine.

Sousuke stood up from loitering at the building, and we started heading down the path by the pitch to the dorms. Everything was in a healthy shade of yellow as we started to stroll, and I might’ve held the strap of my school bag and my pen in my pocket a little tighter while thinking of Haru.

It was so weird to me to think like this—I’d talked to lots of guys before, including quiet ones—but I really couldn’t stop finding Haru’s kinda awkward way of speaking endearing. The dude was so attractive, even his relative shortcomings were attractive.

“Red again.”

I snapped my head up to Sousuke’s notice, and he was still looking ahead as I raised a hand up to my cheek. “— _Crap_ , really?”

“Well, more pink than red, but it’s there.”

I winced. “Goddammit…” I definitely clutched my strap harder in embarrassment—would I be permanently pink-faced around Haru? Did he think I had some sort of condition but he was too polite to bring it up? “Was I obvious?”

“To me,” Sousuke shrugged. “But that might be because I know about it.”

“Ugh, _shit_.”

“It’s so weird seeing you like someone.”

“O- _Oi_ , shut up…!” I whipped my head around, but thankfully no one else was near. “You want the whole damn school to know?!”

“I wasn’t shouting,” he said matter-of-factly, because he wasn’t.“…But sorry.”

I appreciated his sincerity when he looked at me, but at that moment I was just trying to get my heartbeat under control. Imagining people learning that I found Haru attractive in _that_ way…it was stressful, to say the least. I mean, there was admiring your guy classmate, and then there was _admiring_ your guy classmate…which, for my gender, isn’t taken so well in most of Japan—if not all—to put it lightly.

Though I couldn’t let some ‘ _potential concerns_ ’ haunt me—I had to focus on the here and now, not the could and would. I shook off the weight on my shoulders to go about the rest of my day, regimen, homework, and all.

But I may’ve felt a _little_ down that Haru remembered his stationery from then on.

* * *

Okay, next day, I woke up even earlier. Did the freshening and the uniforming—then I was ready and raring for that makeover.

Before I used the gel, though, I just had to wonder which hairstyle to use.

I thought that I could’ve changed it up a bit, since I kinda either go for ponytail or none—lately I’d been leaning more toward ponytail. When I stared my red bangs down in the mirror, I couldn’t help thinking it looked a little bland just to keep it that way, especially when I was gonna try out some new stuff.

So, naturally, I tried so many hairstyles in the morning that I lost count: pigtails, plaits, partings—Christ, even some pseudo-dreads at one point. It wasn’t like my long-ish hair was really difficult or took long to manage, but I tried a _lot_ of hairstyles.

I settled for the plain ponytail before I fucked up my hair too much, then I had to get to class. Sousuke might’ve said something about how I looked extra pissed, though.

Despite my failure of a makeover-morning, however, the day still went okay thanks to lunch.

Me and Haru, our table was usually empty within the crowd—I could always enjoy some conversation with him without many distractions or fear of being eavesdropped. It gave me the perfect opportunity to talk to Haru some more, and afterwards Sousuke would always give me advice on the times I didn’t have much to say—important, because Haru wasn’t so talkative (that much was obvious just from the first couple of days), so a tiny push was needed.

I really did like talking to Haru, though, even if I didn’t talk so much as ask him stuff. It was an issue on the first day, and I make note not to make any mistake a second time.

I tried to exercise healthy curiosity instead of come off as stalker-ishly clingy, which seemed to work out—even though it took a little prodding to get him to talk about himself, it was great to listen once the ball got rolling.

Haru had moved from Iwatobi, a small fishing town, to Tokyo since his parents thought transferring to our school would bolster his chances for a better future—he mentioned it a little more tersely than usual, so I didn’t spring any future questions on him (like ‘ _what do you wanna do when you graduate?_ ’ sort of thing). He also said he didn’t live with his parents because they were out on business a lot after I’d asked, so I left the family topic alone as well. Luckily, he didn’t seem like a sad, burdened sort of guy, so I didn’t dwell too long on my worry.

The biggest thing he missed from the move was the sea, since Iwatobi was located by the coast, and Tokyo was just towers of steel with some more peaceful suburbs. And even though I had some less savoury memories of the sea, I could definitely get him—the ocean _is_ beautiful. And he spoke about it such a wistful, cute sort of way, that made it impossible to not feel for the guy. Then he said he was living with his grandma here—and not really far from my place, either!

My chest felt really floaty from learning more about him, and that pleasant lightness spread all round with his small, soothing voice. Eventually I realised he’d nearly finished his lunch—mackerel and rice again.

“…What about you?”

“Ah—?” I kinda took a moment with his question, since my cheek got pretty comfortable on my fist, and I was just picking up a sliver of some leafy vegetable with my chopsticks. “Me?”

“Mm,” Haru scooped some more rice. “Did you live here your whole life?”

I opened my mouth—

_“Ah, there’s Matsuoka-kun~!”_  
 _“Ooh, Haru-kun, too~!”_

Balls.

The girls that came up were giggly, bubbly, all the ‘- _ly_ ’s as I gave them quick flashes for smiles—our table _was_ relatively hard to find, but I guess not so much if you were a bit determined. Haru nodded occasionally, and there was some banter split between me, him, and the girls. Though I had to stamp down my disappointment that I couldn’t talk to him some more—I was on my own lil mission, after all…

Then the good part of my day came up:

“—But I’d like to talk to Rin more, if that’s okay.”

Haru said it so smoothly to them, it took a while for me to register it, and then some to actually direct my attention to him.

Just, how clearly and politely he basically said ‘ _that’s cool but I’d rather spend my time with this guy over here_ ’ and how he said it like it was completely _natural_ —my heart couldn’t help its dumb flopping at his profile.

The girls were a bit surprised, but not offended. Hell, they looked flustered. “O-Oh, that’s fine, Haru-kun…!”

I couldn’t believe it—the guy pulled off his dismissal so flawlessly, he got the girls blushing over it. Hell, maybe _I_ even blushed…okay, I did, a little.

“Uh…” I combed through my ponytail when the girls left, clearing my throat a little as I ate a roll of pasta, the lunch special that day.

Haru looked at me again and I had to face away, like how you don’t stare straight at the sun. “So, did you live here your whole life?”

I blinked a bit, and somehow I managed not to dwell on how easily he picked up the conversation like it’d never stopped.

I talked a bit about how I moved here from Sano a couple years back, my goals as a swimmer here and in the future, but I couldn’t help but keep rewinding back to that moment—the fact that when some girls came over, he asked for _alone time_ …!

He literally said “I’d like to talk to Rin more” and I just kinda had to bite back my ridiculously _happy_ smile. It was like that one line threw all my worries for coming up with something to say out the window, and left this blooming feeling in my chest—I felt like I could float up to the ceiling for the rest of the day.

Though Sousuke told me I was red again—had to work on that.

* * *

Next morning’s problem was I put on too much deo first—spritzing before _and_ after I put my uniform on—and I had to take a shower to get the overwhelming stink out. So, again, my look was delayed—Operation: _Hot for Haru_ was pretty slow on the uptake.

 _However_ , the scent was there enough for Haru to comment about it during lunch. Though I didn’t really register it from how nice he looked.

“You smell like you again,” he noticed. “From that day.”

I _think_ that’s what he said? Since I kinda lost track of thought when he leaned across the table for the scent, and his eyes looked extra blue—not to mention I could smell his shampoo. Jasmine, I think.

I should’ve listened more for the rest of lunch, but his mouth stared at my eyes too much.

Should’ve stopped it with mine.

I _happened_ to mutter that out loud after doing sit-ups in my dorm, and Sousuke was there holding down my ankles. Before I could even blurt an apology, he was just slowly shaking his head.

“Too soon.”

* * *

The next morning, since tackling hair or deo first bombed, I messed with my uniform a little. But I pulled my sleeve up too fast—the button actually _popped off_ the sleeve, so rolling it up wouldn’t hold otherwise.

So, as much as it pissed me off, it took me another day to quickly sew that button back on. Sousuke probably said something about how I seemed less and less like a morning person.

Haru might have noticed my loose sleeve, maybe, but we just ate lunch together as usual. We learned sign-up sheets for extracurriculars would available at the end of the week on the bulletin boards, and I think Haru was really excited about that. His eyes did their shining thing whenever swimming or the pool was mentioned, and I felt giddy whenever I saw that pretty gleam of his.

“It hasn’t even been a week.” Sousuke said.

“Shut your face.” I said.

* * *

Then, the next day, it was just wondering if I could pull off sneaking in some anklets before anything. I’d try rolling up a pants leg, realise it’d look stupid, roll it down again, but try it a few times anyway since the anklet looked _really_ good. Repeat for bracelets and necklaces.

But, even though I didn’t get anywhere for my looks yet, it was still a _great, awesome_ day.

Skip to lunch: I had my elbows on our table, eating peacefully, and Haru spoke up.

“Can I have some?”

He nodded toward my beef, and I looked at his staple mackerel and rice. It might’ve been a surprise, but I was genuinely relaxed. I was also generally chill about sharing food, so I just shrugged. “Sure.” ‘cause why not?

So I use my chopsticks to pick up one of the thicker, bite-sized slices, so I’m just holding it out. Then I thought of some harmless, daring lil tease, which I actually _did_ somehow.

“Haru~” I rotated my wrist, drawing a circle in the air with my beef. “Say _ahh_ ~”

I probably flushed like the goddamn idiot I was when I grinned. I wasn’t condescending or anything (at least I _hope_ it didn’t come off like that)—it was just a really shit-eating probably-tween-level tease. It felt fun to exaggerate it like I was his doting wife/girlfriend, but I was gonna brush it off as soon as I’d done it.

I didn’t expect him to actually eat it like that.

I opened my eyes to the tiniest bit of pressure on my chopsticks—and he _actually_? _Ate it_? _Like that_?!

Dark hair—closed eyes—little mouth—around the beef—from my chopsticks. He even leaned over—I could see his face and collarbone at that angle— _I fed him_.

He pulled back with a restful sort of look, chewing slowly while my mind reduced to something along the lines of ‘ _whatwhatwhat_ ** _what_** ’.

I fed him? He fed himself? I fed him feeding himself?

Before I completely lost it, I went ‘ _calm down, calm down, me. He’s Haru, he’s weird, just. Whatever it means, just be cool. Cool._ ’.

Then I went ‘ _oh my god I **fed** him._ ’

But, okay, real talk: you do that—holding out food on the tip of your chopsticks—and the person you find attractive/like/have a crush on does that, you’re generally gonna just _stop_. I mean, the _factors_ you gotta _consider_ …!

  1. Indirect kiss
  2. Holy shit, _indirect kiss_
  3. Domestic as fuck
  4. Nibbling is goddamn adorable
  5. _Domestic_ as _fuck_
  6. Level of comfort needed to pull off that shit
  7. Cute as hell
  8. _Indirect_. _Kiss_.



You’d think it was the act itself that did me in, but no—the final blow came after that, after Haru swallowed that piece of beef that would probably stay with me till the end of my days (metaphorically speaking).

“…I prefer mackerel,” he looked a bit to the side, murmuring with his tiny pout and tiny blush. “…But it’s okay.”

Critical hit. K.O. No survivors.

My body went into this stasis, and I just kinda stared. Because. _Wow_.

After I snapped out of it, and the first half of lunch was over, reality started churning into gear again when I found Sousuke.

I fed him meat that day…

I fed. Nanase Haruka. Meat. That day.

“Like—I mean—! _Just_ —!!” I barely held back from _leaping_ around Sousuke, though my voice naturally came out as a squawking, whispering disbelief. “I was there, and—he was there, _leaning over_ , and—that was an _indirect kiss_ , and he was so _casual_ about it at the same time…?! Though, casual might not be a good thing…but—afterwards—he did this murmur thing! That was pretty—I mean, k-kinda cute, I guess…

“—And even if he _was_ casual about it, it meant he was comfortable enough to do it and not find it weird? Even though I wanted him to feel a _little_ weird about it, in the doki-doki what’s-this-feeling sense—okay, that might not make sense, but the thing was—”

Sousuke’s ears worked overtime that evening when I retold it on the way to and at the dorms, but my heart did jumping-jacks whenever I thought about it, and it put my mouth on an unstoppable, grinning motor. I mean, Haru was pretty weird, but that was huge! It _felt_ huge, at least!

Though I apologised after I’d talked on and on, Sousuke just shook his head and gave me an encouraging smile—I felt a bit embarrassed when I was done, but he really didn’t seem to mind.

“Glad to see you’re happy, Rin.”

When he said that the straightforward, sincere way he did, I felt relieved I could tell him my feelings without fear—he even gave me pointers after I’d told him my plan to look nice for Haru! Though I didn’t tell him the operation name—he would’ve never let up on that…

For some reason, in the moment Sousuke gave this deep chuckle, I acutely remembered he was older than me.

* * *

I was so pumped that whole day, I woke up extra early and nailed the makeover the next morning. Looking back, it was fairly easy—I guess I was just too jumpy during that first week.

I put on my uniform as usual with my hair all tied up, which was when I had to make modifications. Haru looked better and better with each passing day, and while he didn’t have to try, I made sure to get my look right on the last day of the first week.

First, I rolled up my sleeves so they were fashionably loose between my wrists and elbow—but not messily rolled up, and extra carefully because of the popping-button escapade. It was uniform, so I folded the sleeves up neatly with just the right touch of rumpled-ness, to show off my _defined forearms_ and everything.

After that, I spent a couple of minutes choosing my favourite, complimenting bracelets—a mess of coloured leather, beads, and string—and my silver watch to accentuate my slim wrists _and_ my fashion sense, even with the constraints of uniform.

I made sure to spritz some of my deo at my shoulders, since it was particularly nice-smelling—I dunno how to describe it: chocolate-y or wooden-type of masculine smell or whatever. But the point was Haru liked it, so I made sure it was there.

I also took some time to use some hair gel—I ran it through my hair and bangs, so it got a cool, attractively-mussy look. Though that took the longest to get right out of my makeover. Usually it was more straight with some tufts sticking out, but with my _Sea Breeze Hair Rubber_ I managed to pull off a studious-surfer look I was really happy with.

My complexion seemed okay for the most part, but just in case I rubbed a drop of moisturiser into my cheeks. And _shit_ was I glad about buying some chapstick the other day when I screwed up on the deo—I never noticed how crackly the skin was up close, even though it seemed red enough after I bit into my lips so they looked less pale and more pink.

I didn’t know if Haru liked cola-flavoured, but I’d work on that after getting to know his tastes.

 _Yeah_ , I was in pretty deep already for a guy I found attractive—new feelings make you dumb, okay?

And, final touch, I wore a tank top underneath my gakuran instead of my typical undershirt—kudos to Sousuke! My tank top dipped a bit lower than my undershirt, so when I popped open the buttons it showed a hint more of my collarbone, just the dip down between my pecs. Though I might’ve popped the third button as well, but I didn’t spread it open—respectably enticing, is how I’d like to put it.

So that was my step-by-step guide on how I looked like a hot piece for Operation: _H.F.H_.

However, drawbacks:

  1. It took an hour to get that look—I had to be meticulous
  2. I fucking lost my hairband



I must’ve done up my hair too loosely for the studious-surfer thing, and by the time we reached classes, Sousuke gave me a look and pointed at the back of his head.

“Didn’t you have a ponytail?”

We were at the corner of the corridor, just shy of making it to our classrooms. There was still five minutes or so till class started, so my small panic had nothing to do with time.

“Ah, _dammit_!” I clapped the back of my hair— _gently_ , because hair, look and all. It wasn’t like the hairband was precious to me—I could get more of them in bulk no problem—but more that I had no idea how my gelled hair looked without it. “Does—Does it look messy…?”

“Well…” Sousuke glanced around my hair. “A little.”

“ _What_ —?!” I kept my voice in a little hiss, since other students were passing us by to class.

“—Not any more than usual, though.”

“Oh,” I let out a small sigh. “Oh, okay…”

“Maybe it looks a little stiff,” he sniffed. “From the gel.”

“ _Crap_!” I imagined Haru’s weirded-out reaction to my stiff hair, and my hand darted to and from my head. “Should I—I should take out some—”

“—But it looks alright.”

“Goddammit, _stop putting me on edge like that_ …!”

Sousuke put up his hands and said his placating ‘ _alright, alright_ ’, but I was more nervous than anything. I spent a long time getting the look right—I already had to work through the thicket of the girls’ glue-like ogling, and even guys’ envious whispers on the walk from the dorms, which only increased in the classroom after Sousuke and I had parted ways.

I should’ve been a bit pleased, except I didn’t know how my hair looked.

I tried to check when I quickly settled into my seat, but the reflection of the windows was too weak to properly check, since the outside was brighter than in. I don’t know if my classmates were gushing about my look or they were muttering about why I was squinting at the window so much.

Thankfully, people didn’t bother me when I was scruntinising reflective surfaces—the girls seemed even more blushy and jittery, so my makeover was effective for them, at least.

But they weren’t the ones I wanted to look good for.

Just as I thought of pulling out my phone to use it as a makeshift mirror, the teacher had walked in. But…Haru wasn’t here yet…

_Don’t tell me the guy was absent…?!_

Amakata-sensei started to check off the register after our good mornings—here, homeroom took place at last period, so she’d take the register or make urgent announcements that couldn’t wait until the end of the day.

“Ogino Aneko-san.”

“Here.”

“Okawa Haruhiko-kun.”

“Here.”

“Kato Soichiro-kun.”

“Here.”

She kept listing off names—I just goggled the empty seat in front of me.

“Takenaka Chinatsu-san.”

“Here.”

“Tsukino Ayumu-kun.”

“Here.”

“Nanase Haruka-kun.”

Silence. People started glancing.

“Nanase-kun?” Amakata-sensei looked around the class, then at the edge where he sat.

“Um…” I raised my hand, speaking up amongst the class turning their heads. “I don’t think he’s here today, Amakata-sensei.”

“Oh, is that so?” she gave a small huff, like she didn’t want to mark him absent. “Oh well, I’ll just have to—”

He literally walked in at that moment.

 _Shit_ , I almost got _offended_ when he arrived—just before Amakata-sensei marked him down, too!

He gave the customary bow, but he looked the same as always—not particularly apologetic. Though he did seem to be breathing a fair bit. “I’m sorry I’m late, Amakata-sensei.”

“Ah, Nanase-kun!” she gave a kind smile while the class muttered about his impeccable timing, then gave a light chide after he’d stood up straight again. “That was close, you know. But since you’re here now, I won’t mark you as tardy.”

“Thank you, Amakata-sensei.”

Okay, it was hard to stay pissed when his voice sounded so nice like that.

“It’s alright,” she nodded. “Please try to arrive before registration starts from now on.”

She gestured to his seat where he promptly headed, and as he came over I was about to give him a look while the murmurs died down again. Like some shake of the head, or even mouth something to him—either about his uncanny timing, or why he came barely on time. ‘Cause, who pulled that on their first week, y’know?

Just as I was about to signal something, Haru stopped just short of sitting down.

He squinted at me.

Like, the _tiniest_ squint—complete with a lil tilt of the head. I could’ve missed it if I'd blinked, but, in the split-second pause before he’d sat down, he’d even opened his mouth a bit—I guess for a question or comment, or something.

I knew he’d noticed my look. Just, not in the pleasant-gleam way I’d expected. In fact, he looked a little…confused.

I couldn’t help but feel dejected at that.

I mean, everyone else had met my looks with blushes or whispers, or something positive along those lines. Even Sousuke gave an impressed nod and a thumbs-up before we left the dorm.

But, Haru, he just _squinted_. The one reaction I was looking forward to the most, and it was a squint, and maybe a question.

My heart sunk a bit at the sight of his back.

* * *

As lessons went on, I realised something was off.

In the breaks between, after I’d lean down to get out the books I needed for the next subject, I’d always sit back up to meet Haru watching me. Elbow over his seat, turning back with that tilted-head, and that curious face. And before it occurred to me to ask him what he looking at (if not me), the next teacher would come in and he’d turn to the front like nothing had happened.

And he’d do this every break—hell, whenever he got to turn around, passing back sheets or notes or whatever.

At first, I was a little taken aback the first time I’d sat up from rustling through my bag. I mean, the guy’s stare was always a little intense. Even though I got less surprised with each passing lesson, I couldn’t help feeling unnerved.

Not to say I didn’t _like_ his peculiar attention, but it felt a little misplaced. Like he was trying to pick apart something about me, but not anything appreciative or even indecent—his gaze didn’t roam over me like the girls’ who thought I couldn’t see.

For the life of me, I think he was genuinely confused about how I looked.

But that didn’t help matters—he was still pretty, so his attention was distracting. I could feel him looking whenever I bent down to get my stuff, and it always left me warm in the face when I sat up again. I still couldn’t really look him in the eye, or really accuse him of anything worth accusing, so I had to deal with the incessant buzzing in my fingertips. In fact, I started to get a little pissed at his constant, unexplained staring. Well, flustered more than anything, but pissed nonetheless.

Ugh, he was either pretty, or pissed me off—there was no in-between.

Finally, lunch came around. I packed up my stuff to see that most of the others had left, and Haru had finished packing too, and decided to stare at me again. So we had another stare-down.

I tried to gulp down my nerves, as well as ignore his pretty face—which was hard in a stare-down—to focus on the basic issue.

“—Goddammit, what _is_ it…?!” I finally spoke, hopefully coming across more pissed than embarrassed, but I didn’t bank on it. “You’ve been staring at me the whole day without saying anything—is it how I look, or something?” I tightened my fists, my face feeling like it was under a lighter. “—You can’t just keep doing that without—without some sorta _explanation_ —!”

He leaned in with a calmer expression—his hand went around to the back of my neck.

I fucking _froze_.

“Haru…?”

My eyes stung from how open they were. The light from the window was bright, and I blinked and searched over his close, close face.

“Haru, wha—?”

“Hold still.”

He said that so softly, I shut up.

His eyes cast down, and I gulped so hard when his eyes lidded. I could _not_ trust myself with his jasmine-smelling hair, pink lips, and half-lidded blue eyes up so close. I screwed my eyes shut to his fingers at my hair, close to the skin of my nape, my heartbeat going overtime with his brushing touch.

I could feel his breath. He smelled like chlorine.

Then I felt my hair squeeze together, trapped in Haru’s loose fist. He didn’t come any closer, and I tentatively blinked my eyes open.

“Ha…ru?”

He did that a couple of times—holding my hair then letting go. It never hurt for a moment—his fingers were slim, tender at my head. He even craned his neck around to see it, keeping the same cool expression. I looked over his little squint, fairly certain my face was pink anyway as I swallowed at my hair fanning over my nape again.

“Um…” I blinked a bit more. “Wha…What are you doing?”

He gently held my hair again. “…Can’t decide.”

I watched him lay his arms on the front of my desk, starting to rest so he began to look up at my hair. His gaze was soft on me, and I was completely lost.

“Uh…” I glanced to the side, and we were left alone minutes ago. “What—What can’t you decide…?”

I focused on him again after clearing my throat, not even sure if I was allowed to ask, but then he paused to let my hair go. He retracted his hand from my hair, so he could rest his cheek into it while looking over me again.

“I don’t know if like loose-hair-Rin,” he laid his head in his hand some more. “Or ponytail-Rin more.”

His lip jutted out in a pout, and I felt heat flood over my skin.

My mouth opened for some disbelief—some abashment—some _anything_. It took a few tries, but when he raised his brows at me, that made it easier.

“ _I’m_ —That’s nothing to decide over!!” by the sounds of my near-scold, abashment and disbelief tied. “That’s— _it’s stupid_! To get hung up over something like that…!”

I might’ve panted after my little outburst. He just blinked.

“But it’s important to me.”

I clammed up at how earnestly he’d said that—like it was just so simple, obvious that he’d find my hair important. His squint and confusion all made sense now, but—should I’ve felt insulted, that he’d only focus on my hair? Did the warmth churning in my gut mean that I felt happy about his single-minded attention?

I found myself desperately searching for some explanation, for myself and his behaviour. Instead I remained completely bewildered and flustered beyond belief.

Out of a habit I never knew I developed, I tugged up my collar, hiding my face as I glanced away.

“…What are you even _saying_ …?”

My mutter was thick, and I knew after my shaky breath that my cheeks tinted again. But I couldn’t really care how I looked in that moment—just wrapping my head around…Haru, was enough to occupy all my thoughts. His stare was digging into the side of my face, anyhow—I could feel it.

“…I’ve decided.”

I looked up at his firm nod. “Mm?”

“I like both.”

…He really was weird.

I was still frowning a bit, but ultimately sighed at his set expression. “Weren’t you all indecisive a moment ago?”

I let go my collar of my pinch, letting it settle down from my face so I could listen to his deep reasoning.

“…I accept both loose-hair and ponytail Rin,” he said, nodding to himself again. “I like Rin all the same.”

“— _The fuck is that supposed to mean…?!_ ” I nearly choked—because fuck, _now_ I was red. “You make _no_ sense…”

I resolutely stomped down the delight that burst into my system, hoping to every god above that my muttering masked it.

Then he laughed this light, lovely laugh, and my throat closed up.

He covered it up with his hand, but I definitely heard it. But I couldn’t tease him at that moment, even when he’d gone quiet again—I was too busy replaying that tiny little laugh of his.

…It sounded like an angel’s.

“—Bracelets?”

I tuned back into real life at Haru innocently checking out my wrists, his finger tinkering with a loose thread at one of my bracelets. It might’ve tickled a little, but I think I was just overly sensitive around him.

“Well—yeah,” I shrugged a bit—not like they weren’t bracelets. “I kinda like accessories—bracelets, anklets, trinkets, whatever.”

I didn’t know why I added needless information like that, but Haru seemed to take it in stride with a slow nod. He pulled away his wondering fingers, but I was really glad he’d noticed them.

He gave me a calm once-over. “…You look nice.”

Saying that, he didn’t look any different. Sunlit face in hand, leaning on my desk like it was his, impassive pretty face—nothing changed one bit.

I still think I felt Cupid driving a stake through my stupid heart.

“ _Ah_ , shut up…” I finally rose from my ass vegetating on my seat, sliding my chair back under the desk as I weaved around the tables to the door. “Let’s go get lunch already.”

I may have walked out annoyedly tousling my non-ponytail hair, grumbling about what the difference was when Haru followed suit. But after I spent nearly an hour talking about it while clutching my pillow, Sousuke now flinches at the words ‘ _hair dilemma_ ’.

Even with all its stalls and Sousuke’s trauma, Operation: _Hot for Haru_ was a breakthrough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is plot. Somewhere. I promise. 8D


	9. Chapter 006.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippet before the heroine and their love interest go through the first weekend leave of the year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this a full chapter and didn't plan to update so soon but fuck it episode 10 has ruined all my cardiovascular functioning and wrecked my tear ducts ~~like how Sousuke wrecked his shoulder I'M SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL RN~~ so this calls for emergency fluff in the form of a .5 chapter
> 
> Hope you enjoy the update! \o/

A bit before I went for weekend leave, I had a taste of Haru’s competitive streak.

Y’see, the thing I mentioned before about homeroom and announcements taking place during last period? Yeah, just as I was thinking about sending another text to Gou before homeroom was dismissed, we got a notice from Amakata-sensei.

“Just one last announcement before the end of the day,” she said, picking up the a sheet from a small red basket that never left the desk. “For all students who wish to be part of the swim team, including members from last year, time trials will start on the coming Monday back. The sign-up sheet will be available on the bulletin board by the main hall from Friday to throughout the weekend—oh?” she tilted down the sheet to scan around the class. “That’s today, isn’t it?”

The class murmured in agreement, and my mouth fell open in a smile.

“Whoever’s leaving campus for the weekend might want to make note to sign up sometime this evening, then,” she continued. “I believe that’s everything, so class is dismissed. Have a good weekend everyone!”

Even though I didn’t properly look at Haru, I could tell that he was tensing like me.

We chanted our goodbyes and thanks, and in the clatter of chairs I slung on my bag to skip in front of Haru packing his. Thankfully the girls didn’t do as much pestering when the class filtered out—maybe the Matsuoka-Nanase combo was too much for them or something like that. Not that I cared, more Haru for me—shit that sounds so _dumb_ motherfuck— _anyway_.

“Can’t believe they shifted swim sign-ups to today!” I started to make my excitement known, even though Haru didn’t appear to be listening, ‘cause really I knew he was listening. “I mean, I know they start soon, but I didn’t think they’d start _this_ soon! Man, I’m so _pumped_ —can’t wait after the weekend!” I was gushing, brimming with anticipation. But that’s when I remembered I was going to be at home, and I clapped my nape with a little groan. “Aww _man_ , that means I can’t do any laps over the weekend before the time trials on Monday, dammit…!” I let out a gruff sigh, but after thinking over my options a smile quickly danced across my face again. “Ah well, I’ll be able to do some muscle training while I’m at—”

“You’re leaving?”

I looked down at Haru’s question, and he looked all curious and cute again. I pocketed my hand when he began to stand with his brown messenger bag slung over.

“Ah, yeah, I’m gonna go home for the weekend. My mom and sis’ll wanna know how I’m doing for my first week, and my sis especially’ll wanna _chat_ and _hang out_ and _spend loadsa time with me_ ~” I waved my hand airily, but my grin won out like usual. “But it shouldn’t be so bad, I guess.”

I rocked on my heels a bit, looking expectantly at him shouldering the strap of his bag. His chin was tilted down a bit, and with his calm look he was probably thinking to himself.

It felt warm, walking alongside him, our slippers clicking on the corridor floor. We were a little slower than the other students too, making the walkways a lot more peaceful, save for some excited chatter about weekend plans.

Biting my lip, I couldn’t help myself—I hopped a little closer beside him, and pulled him in so I clapped his far shoulder.

“So~?” I sing-songed, taking in how he had this lil surprised glance—just for a split-second—before his expression settled again. “What about you, Haru? Got any plans?”

So basically I was either super slick or fucking lame, but I got him making that cute pondering expression again, so points for me anyway. Well yeah, my increasingly buddy-buddy tendencies were from more than just buddy-buddy feelings, but it’s not that I had some master plan to make some nest for my hand at his shoulder. I mean, I’m not _that_ dumb, y’know? It’s not like I actually thought or plotted about that shit, touching his pretty-firm shoulder and resting my hand there. And subtly feeling how he’s pretty fucking buff beneath that uniform from quarter-or-half-hugging him when I can. And _definitely_ not his shiny black jasmine hair, or the way his profile was kinda defined and his eyes were always so stupidly nice and blue, or anything…

Just, hugging around his shoulder, that’s all. Honest.

Okay, I was giddy around the guy, but I was _trying_ for platonic before anything, at least.

“I’ll be leaving campus.” he responded, and I remembered not to stare at his cheek for so long.

“No kidding?” I chimed, and he didn’t seem to mind or notice that I leaned the teeniest bit onto his shoulder.

“Mm,” he nodded. “I’m going to visit home, too.”

“Hey, awesome! We should head out together then!” my voice naturally peaked with delight, but Haru looked at me curiously. Then I started to realise how forward I had been. “ _Ah_ —y’know, after I pack all my things and whatnot— _not that_ , y’needa _wait_ for me, or anything, though!”

I started to wave my hands a bit frantically, since I wanted to clear up that he had no obligations towards me.

Because, okay, I’d suggested the idea without really thinking, since the notice put me in an awesome mood—further because, hey, Haru probably had other things to do or places to go that didn’t involve walking with me, or just me in general.

But because I’m really fucking lame, I just _had_ to start thinking of uniform dates and imagining me and Haru walking home _together_ , so I was on the verge of trying to talk again to maintain coolness but it kinda came out as _air_ I don’t really even know and _maybe_ my face went a lil red but honest to god at that point I was already a lost cause.

“Uh. Well, yeah, I mean, y’don’t _have_ …to, I just—ugh,  _words_ , um—”

He cocked his head the slightest, and I just held back from swearing right the fuck out loud. He’d listened, but I was just confusing as fuck.

But I was _still_ imagining my bullshit fantasy land where me and Haru were all sparkles and smiles—gently linking hands with Haru on the way home was a bit much for my weakass heart so I kinda kept talking like:

“B-But if you do wanna come home with me, that’d be great—I MEAN, not _come home_ with me! I meant _walking_! To our separate homes! Separately!” I said a little loudly and higher-pitched-ly than I really needed to—because a guy can never embarrass himself in front of his crush too much, obviously. “But on the way we can walk together and stuff, i-if you want to…” When I trailed off while fiddling with my hair, I should’ve just shut up and saved myself from his staring, but I just _had_ to add: “Yeah…not that I’d mind if you’d visit! But, I don’t know if you could, uh…visit. I think…”

Now wasn’t I just the smoothest motherfucker around?

Before I could kick myself—because I must have had some social deficiency being so fucking _dumb_ couldn’t I talk to him normally over a simple walk home ‘cause he lived close what the fuck—I heard Haru chuckle.

I turned to him laughing quietly behind his slim hand, my heart skipping a beat at his eyes twinkling from their slight scrunch.

“You’re funny, Rin.”

He wasn’t demeaning in the least when he said that—his words were never sharp, always strong yet soft-spoken.

My lips went tight at the hint of that tiny smile of his, but my tried-and-true dry sarcasm (read: defence mechanism to compensate for being a total dumbass) was up and ready like never before. “I… _well_ , I’m hilarious, obviously,” I coughed a bit, before swallowing down my ridiculous embarrassment again. “So…uh, yeah—you wanna walk together?”

I tried to shrug off how much I cared, my palm living at my nape as I glanced at him. He looked down, putting on his considering-face again.

“…I don’t mind walking home with you, but,” he said eventually, thumbing the strap of his messenger bag. “I can’t visit over the weekend…sorry.”

Shit. My heart.

I was so _done_ —he did this tiny _tiny_ pout that made him look like a downtrodden lil cat, and I just fought off my clenching heart from signing off and leaving my stupid tingling chest.

“— _Oh_ , that’s cool!” I immediately responded, since the last thing I wanted was him to apologise over something like that, or me. Mostly me. “You don’t needa feel bad or anything—I’m glad we can walk together!” I reassured honestly, and I threw my arm over his shoulder again, developing a promising habit. “Let’s hit sign-ups, and then we’ll meet at the gates after we pack our stuff,” I suggested, rattling a lil plan off the top of my head while we reached the staircase. “Sound good?”

I tilted my head to watch Haru again, and I was inches away from nosing his smooth, jasmine-scented hair. I almost inadvertently did when he nodded promptly, before his eyes sharpened on the floor at the end of the staircase.

“The sign-up sheet is by the hall, right?”

“Yup!” I confirmed with my own nod, and gradually slipped my hand off his shoulder and back to my side. “It’s a couple o’floors down till we get there. I’m gonna get my name on first, then I’ll—”

“Who said you’d be first?”

Haru stopped walking when I did, when I turned to an unfathomable spark in his eye.

Well _hello_ …

“…Oh?” I murmured, mischief tugging the corner of my lip. I felt his stare on me as I started to amble, a little more bounce in my step as I went down the stairs some more. “Well I _was_ first to sign up last year. Dunno why that’d change _now_ …” I rocked my head with a casual shrug, before shooting a smirk over my shoulder to Haru, who still stared at me. “Unless, _you’re_ thinking of getting there first, Nanase~?”

The light gleamed through the stairwell’s window, making his set expression shine. And when his eyes steeled onto mine, my teeth bared in the smallest grin.

* * *

Okay, honestly, I don’t know who bolted first, but that seemed to be pretty important to me while my back made friends with the wall and my muscles were limp with a burning ache.

“Ugh— _shit_ ,” I swore under my breath, which was streaming in and out of my lungs at that point. “I _know_ I won…!”

“—No,” Haru was bent over next to me, clutching his knees and panting as hard as I was. “We tied…”

“N… _Nuh-uh_ ,” I nudged my head toward the sheet we nearly ripped off the bulletin—and both of our names were scrawled at the top. “My name’s,” I took a gulp. “—First. On there.”

I flung my arm up in what was supposed to be a point, and I’m pretty sure we looked hilariously pathetic, fuckin’ panting by the sign-up sheets when my hand clapped my thigh again.

“We’re both…on the same…row,” Haru retorted between breaths, looking at the two pens still swinging like pendulums from the clipboard. “My name’s on the right, so…I win.”

I kinda had some idea to try standing up, but I couldn’t be assed in the face of Haru’s flimsy reasoning. “Hey, people also read…left-t’-right, y’know.”

“We’re—” he lifted his head in a breath, deadpanning at me. “In Japan.”

“Open your mind a bit, will ya?” I huffed before shutting my eyes and knocking my head against the wall. “Haa, _crap_ —I haven’t sprinted like that in _ages_ …!”

“Same.”

Just to be clear, me and Haru’s tiredness wasn’t a matter of fitness—we actually _tore_ down those stairs. The final stretch to the hall was filled with an adrenaline that was like a foreign, heightening drug. I kid you not, it made me high enough to have to hide the little smile on my face.

“Ah well, we signed up,” I sighed, letting my shoulders drop down as Haru gradually got to his feet. “That’s what counts.”

Haru hummed as a simple response, and I just slid my eyes shut while breathing, focusing on my pulsing gently beating throughout my body.

In the calming moment after our impromptu race, I went over how fast the first week of school had gone. Not to mention my liking Haru and whatnot. And even though I , y’know, _liked_ Haru—had slightly-but-more-like-a- _lot_ -more than just platonic feelings for him, fooling around like this over tiny things…

…It was nice. It _felt_ nice. It left warmth blossoming in my chest, swirling when I heard his breathless chuckles that he always tried to hide, to some extent.

“Rin.”

“Mn,” I groaned, my head leaning back against the hard wall as I made a face. “What?”

I crinkled my eyes a bit before peeling them open, and sure enough that motherfucker was leaning over, holding out a hand for my slouching body.

“Need some help?”

Ugh, he did that tinyass smile again, what the fuck.

I grunted some response and took his hand, but the thing was he pulled a bit harder than I expected—

“Ah, Rin!”

“ _Whoa_ —!”

—So, really, I should’ve expected to land torso-first into his— complete with my chin nearly tucked at his shoulder, and him catching my arm and leaning back so we didn’t topple over like the idiots we were.

Now, it was a survival reflex, adopting that embrace so we didn’t crack our skulls. But I enjoyed that reflex-makeshift-hug a lot more than I should’ve.

I mean, he was all warm and everything, and I nearly felt his breath by my head, by my ear. I could hear it hitch, slightly, and how he held me, momentarily. And we may have only started talking a bit after I’d regained my balance, so I _may_ have stolen that golden hug opportunity for the few seconds it lasted.

My fist was at his chest, his heart. It felt…strong, beneath my hand. Fast, just a bit.

“…Sorry. That was my fault,” he said, still holding my arm lightly and still being warm around me. “Are you okay?”

 _Am I okay shit I’m **more** than okay I’m fuckin’ over the **moon** about you hugging me this like this we should totally keep hugging like this y’know I think it’d definitely work out heck maybe we could even kiss like I dunno once or something wouldn’t that be crazy that’d be **crazy**_ —

—was what I was thinking, at least.

“Nah, it’s fine—I’m fine, um,” I shook my head, maybe coughed a bit, and slowly pushed away from him. “I didn’t, bump you or anything, right?”

Haru shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Oh,” I coughed again, and looked down, my own bag hanging off my elbow. “…Good.”

We kinda stood there. Close—like, a foot or so away from each other type close. I was basically staring where his chest was, at his gakuran, while swallowing down my churning feelings again. I almost felt pissed from how giddy, how dizzy I felt—why did I have to like him so much, have to constantly feel the need to read his reaction to everything…?

I felt something shift at my arm. I looked down, and my face heated up even more.

“You can let go of my arm, y’know…” I murmured, peeking up so I faced him blinking at me.

“…Ah—” he withdrew his gentle touch, and went back to holding his bag strap again. “Sorry.”

“It’s ‘kay,” I chuckled, my flush turning into a lighter, happier feeling when he was dead set on looking away from me. I pretended not to notice how his ears pinked, and how it made my heart seem louder in my chest. I felt so jittery, yet so comfortable, as I shuffled my bag back onto my shoulder. “Let’s go to our dorms so we can pack, yeah?”

“Mm,” he nodded, then looked over my shoulder. “Then I’ll wait for you at the exit.”

“Oh—” I spun around to where the school gates were, and looked back to where Haru had to go, in the opposite direction. “Yeah, sure! I’ll, uh,” I started plodding backwards, and thumbed where I had to go while Haru watched me. “I’ll see you back there, then!”

I pivoted on my heel to head off, and sure enough my cheeks hurt from my building smile.

So, we went our separate ways to the dorms, and I jogged off to the gates where a few other students had trickled out as well. I had quite a few things to pack for the weekend, but I was thinking less about that and more about how my heart seemed to be still recovering from our spontaneous race.

Obviously, there were bumps along the way of my first love, our first love. It took a while for us to get somewhere—a year minus a week, to be exact—but every moment was still worthwhile to me. And this was only the first week—who knew what the term, the next, or even the year brought with him?

Even in that first week, I knew I wanted to always have fun with Haru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note that I do plan to include a bit of angst ('cause what's a BL without some good ol' backstory and angst, right?), as well as a few results of all this overwhelming sweet fluff for these sweet gay puppies (though endgame's not coming for a long time, even though they're basically canon already in the fic wooops)
> 
> Hope this mini-chapter somewhat made up for my semi-hiatus (which I'm still on, but episode 10 called for fluff duty u feel?), and I promise things will progress in the next chapter with the other characters popping in! :D


	10. Chapter 007

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroine and love interest share a peaceful walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So. Hm.
> 
> Let's get a couple of things out of the way. This chapter _is_ fluffy and fun, but this author's note is somewhat not.
> 
> First off, hi. 8D It's been approximately...a month? Since I've posted anything and, yeah, that's my fault. Sorry about that, for those of you who still remember this fic. Also, another sorry because I actually promised some sort of progression and new characters in this chapter? _Yeahhh_ , it'll probably come in the next one. Probably. As for this one, it's 11K words of _something_ but not really anything—basically a huge wrestling match of my writer's block versus my writing ideas (I even have smutty AUs thought out but I just _can't write_??).
> 
> I made a lil personal post on tumblr before regarding my inactivity, because the thing is that I felt a lil...well, I try not to use the word _depressed_ , because I'd most likely be offending people that do suffer from diagnosed depression. But I just felt purposeless and empty for a while, which kinda triggered since I didn't get into my city's basketball team, and it set off a lot of other worries and insecurities gave rise to a _lottt_ of wet-eyed nights a couple of weeks ago, and yeah...I do feel a lot better now, though (funnily enough also because of basketball)! But, that's what happened...
> 
> Also, I'm gonna make one more thing clear about this fic—while I _do_ promise that I've a general plot laid out in my head, I do also guarantee that when I mean slow build, I _mean_ **slow** build. As in, if you expected something riveting or somewhat climactic at a regular pace, then _yeahhh_ this fic isn't for you. Even though I do love reading people's responses to my silly fic, in the end, it's my silly fic, and I don't write with any degree of professionalism or promises of regularity or even story progression—I literally write and post, with nothing ahead till I feel like it. Shitty writing process, true, but that's how I function. Though there are a tonne of other fan-writers who have a decidedly more organised writing process and consideration for their readers' patience, so if subscribing to my inactivity frustrates you or anything along those lines, then you don't need to stick around.
> 
> On the _other_ hand if you love aimless fluff and two dorks falling in love over no matter _how_ long of a time period since we're all thirsty shippers in the end, I do hope you enjoy this chapter and what's to come! :D

I was in the middle of retelling the aftermath of me and Haru’s race to Sousuke, and it was no holds barred on letting my feelings out while we were going around the dorm, picking up stuff here and there. By the time we’d finished packing our shit I’d told him everything, since Sousuke was also leaving. Though he was coming back on Sunday unlike me, so he was dumping some of my things on my bunk while I talked.

“—And he even hugged me for a bit _after_ I fell, and there was kinda this _moment_ where I think he noticed too, honestly, like even though it’s Haru and he’s weird as fuck even _he’s_ gotta notice _that_ sorta moment, y’know—oi, watch my board!”

Sousuke promptly stepped over it. “Watched it.”

“Good—anyway, even though that hug was a _reflex_ ’cause otherwise we would’ve probably cracked our skulls or some clumsy shit like that, it was still _nice_ and kinda drawn-out, I mean a _bit longer_ than _just_ a reflex life-saving hug and that’s gotta count for something, right—?”

“—Rin,” Sousuke clapped my shoulder and gave me a serious, meaningful stare. “Stop talking.”

And that I did. Coupled with the cork that plugged my glee, I fell silent for a moment.

“Sorry…” I apologised like a kid who got in trouble for eating all the Nutella as I looked down to my shoes. “I got carried away there.”

“S’fine, really,” Sousuke rubbed his hair while picking up one of my jackets off the floor. “Just think you need to practise being less excited, since I won’t be around when you’re off during the weekend.”

“You got a point…” I admitted in a mutter, scooping some clean clothes while sidling past him. “I’m gonna go change.”

“Right. I’ll get the last of your stuff.”

I gave a wave behind my back before heading into the bathroom. “Much obliged.”

I dumped my clothes by the sink at locked the door behind me, so I could start changing out of my uniform. The bathroom was immediately a lot cooler than inside the dorms, giving me a wave of goose bumps as I stripped.

“ _Ugh,_ ” I shivered a bit, pulling down my trousers as I stepped out of the sleeves. “Cold…” Soon enough, I was just in my boxer-briefs and in front of the full-length mirror. Which meant, as a perpetually self-conscious teenager gaining muscle, it was obligatory self-checkout time—clearly a day in the hard life of me.

All in all, everything checked out. My shoulders were just broad enough to fill the width of the bathroom mirror. Since I was a decent height as well, my proportions were on point, too, so I really didn’t look half-bad despite all my scrutiny. My muscles were nicely defined—my chest was pretty big, and my abs were hard and lean. Biceps, thighs, shins, then a turn around to check out the shoulders, lower back, and ass game—all spic and span. Hell, even shiny, since I shave to reduce drag in the water. Not to mention smooth skin felt nice as _fuck_ to have—my first time shaving was like a religious awakening of bandages and baby smooth skin.

I wondered if Haru would like that. Or if he found shaving kinda weird…

“Aw, dammit,” I shook my head, which felt fuzzy from thinking about Haru and skin and _smooth_ in the same equation. “Get a grip, Matsuoka…”

After deciding that fine-tuning my regimen wouldn’t hurt to strengthen my body, my moment of ego-indulgence came to an end. I slipped on my white and red-sleeved baseball shirt that had a cartoon shark swimming over a red heart in the centre, and pulled on my plum trousers that I rolled up so the cuffs stopped just above my ankles. Then I draped my uniform over my elbow and rested my hand on the doorknob—before I saw my deo, which I quickly spritzed on, and tossed onto my pile of clothes. _Then_ headed out.

“Did you pack everything?” I asked Sousuke offhandedly while I closed the door, about to add some half-hearted reassurance that he wasn’t actually my slave before I turned around. My bag was nice and hefty on my bunk, and I was about to thank Sousuke before I saw him at the desk, his own bag over his shoulder as he stood with a lazy neck, flipping through a little book on the desk.

Weird. Why would he be reading now when we were just about to—?

“—On top of that,” Sousuke read aloud, his voice deep and clear. “He even had a girly name.”

…Oh.

“But really,” he continued reading while my brain morphed into sludge, and Sousuke picked up the red leather-back pocket notebook in his one hand, and not that I could see the book he’d been holding either. “That wasn’t the biggest surprise—”

I think I dropped my uniform, because _oh._

“The fact that he was even in my class in the first place,” he brought out his free hand to his chest, squeezing the fold of his jacket as he kept going with his dramatic reading as I started to take in the situation and tried not to _explode on the spot_. “It had to be fate messing with me—”

“SHUT—” I dived straight at him, and he sidestepped me much more easily than I liked. “ _UP_ —” I nearly crashed into the desk chair, but I just sprung at his taunting arm as he hopped up to his bunk. “SOUSUKE!!” my red must’ve been so face—I mean face so red, fuckin’ _Christ_ — "Sousuke, give it _back_ …!”

“Rin, of all the years I’ve known you’ve had a journal,” he mused with a blank face, all thoughtful-sounding while he stopped me climbing up the ladder to _throttle_ him with his feet pushing down my shoulders. “These’ll definitely be the most interesting.”

“Interesting my _ass_ , you piece of—!!” I hissed, summoning as much of my strength I could to lunge my hand out and snatch my journal out of his hand, which just swerved up so he was reading it against the ceiling light. “God fuckin’— _Sousuke_ , give it _back_ —!” I kept uselessly clawing air, pushing against his _way_ too solid feet, while trying to ignore my dignity leaking like hot air that fuelled the colour on my face. "For fuck’s sake I gotta _go_ …!”

Sousuke glanced at me, and he paused in tracing the corner of my journal page.

“…Right.” the pressure of his feet on my shoulders lessened, and I blinked at him holding out my journal with less of a fight than I’d expected. “Don’t want you red-eyed before you meet up with Nanase, yeah?”

I was perched at the middle of the ladder, just about ready to _pounce_ if necessary, and he was just handing my journal to me. He was also looking with a patient, exasperated smile I’d seen loads of times before…and ‘red-eyed’?

I was crying, _fuck_.

My throat and eyes already stung before I realised just how much water was collecting at the latter, and for the god-knows-how-manyth time I hated how _easily_ I could cry. And even though Sousuke knew all about my journal, my crush, my everything already, I gave him the most pissed-off squint I could without actually closing my eyelids, so tears couldn’t spill and just kept welling in my vision instead when I finally snatched my diary out of his hand. Even then, I kept glaring at his patient features, before climbing down the ladder to reach the floor again.

“ _Ass_.”

“My bad,” Sousuke said, soon coming down after when I rammed the heel of my palm into my stupidly damp eye sockets. “I didn’t know you’d take it like that.”

“Yeah, well…” I muttered while pulling back my damp palms, and I blinked out whatever there was left in my eyes while I sniffed in a gross-sounding way that seemed to excavate the insides of my nose. I always felt a bit mortified after crying really easily, so I was about to round on him before I looked at something brushing my wrist.

Great, he got me a tissue box and looked sorry. _Now_ how was I supposed to get mad at him?

I peeked over my shoulder where he still looked mildly concerned, which was basically the standard of affection in our friendship. So with that, whatever I had planned to say had gone with the breeze, and out the window. So I wordlessly tugged some tissues out, tried to wrinkle the snotty feeling out of my nose, and grimaced at Sousuke before I sharply blew my nose.

I could practically hear him say ‘ _welcome_ ’, nosy bastard…

“Oh right…” Sousuke chimed in, taking off his bag strap as I binned my balled up tissue. “My dad’s gonna pick me up later.”

“Aw, what?” I slumped my shoulders, getting some last sniffles in while he planted himself on my bunk with the grace of a massive bear. If his dad would be coming later, then Sousuke would rather cosy up in the dorm than wait outside. “C’mon, just walk with me to the gate.”

“Nah,” Sousuke rolled his shoulders before tucking his head into his elbows, reclining into the mattress like a sloth that had just found the best shade in the forest. “I’m good.”

I always recovered pretty quickly whenever I shed a few tears, but the tip of my nose still felt a little raw and my loud sigh still sounded a little thick.

“Jeez, _fine_ ,” I clicked my tongue before catching my hand onto the bedpost, lazily using it as a pole so I revolved around to sit at the side edge of the bed where Sousuke’s legs were dangling off. “I’ll stay awhile.”

“What about Nanase?” he asked, his concern-laced voice muffled by his slight sit-up to try to look at me.

“Not like I’m gonna wait with you till your dad gets here,” I responded, nearly rolling my eyes. But instead, I opted giving my packed bags and waiting skateboard a slow blink. “…Just wanna talk for a while.”

“…Yeah,” I heard Sousuke lie back down again. “Alright.”

It had to be a little ironic, that we spent the next few minutes in silence.

White noise and air con filled the dorm. At times, the side of Sousuke’s shin knocked into my arm like a wind chime in a breath of air.

The quiet should’ve been weird, and it probably would’ve if it were anyone else. But times like these—when I didn’t need to blather and banter in order to keep up some loud, superficial mood—they made me grateful for Sousuke, even if he messed with me like that just now…we didn’t really need words to know what had _really_ been off.

I’d overreacted earlier, that much was for sure. Anyone else walking in would’ve thought I was being bullying or some crap like that, but this was Sousuke we were talking about. Our bond was thicker than blood, and there wasn’t anything we didn’t know about each other—he got in his ribbing about me having a diary when we met each other in _grade_ school, and not like I took great lengths to hide the fact that I had a diary in the first place, either. Not to mention he’s the only guy I’d been spilling to about Haru. And as much as it helped as well as pissed me off at times, in the end Sousuke was the one who always understood me best.

No, the reason why I’d overreacted…it ran deeper than just a stupid tease. It wasn’t that it was _Sousuke_ who picked up my diary, started reading my thoughts about Haru like a good novel to read during a walk in the park… My diary felt heavy in my fist. It felt less like the safeguard of my emotions, and more like it was primed to explode—to launch shrapnel of drama and unneeded revelations every which way, if the wrong person stumbled across it. My swim teammates, classmates, friends…if anything were revealed outside of my own terms…

Fear washed through me in a cold wave.

“Rin?”

At the sound of my name, I realised I’d rested my chin on my leg that I’d hugged up to my chest. I gradually stopped staring at my leg flat on the wooden floor, and slid my face so I was looking up at Sousuke with my cheek mushed against my hard knee.

“Mm?”

He didn’t respond right away, but I guessed what his words were before he even propped himself up fully.

“Are you gonna say when you get home?”

To my sis? My mom? Those were the unspoken questions that were just as good as said. I felt the mattress dip at my back when he straightened himself, but he didn’t quite look at me, much like how I didn’t quite look at him.

Because what was there to say, when I was set to make the Matsuoka report? That I was ragingly, _embarrassingly_ gay for the reclusive mizudere new guy in my class? Y’know, the one with a cool attitude, and eyes as clear as water? That guy?

I shrugged. “Dunno.”

How else could I’ve answered, honestly?

“…Yeah,” Sousuke pocketed his hands, and pushed out a laugh in a way that seemed to be more for my sake than his. “No other way to answer that, I guess.”

“Ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer,” I retorted. Though, after a beat of quiet, I clutched my journal a little tighter. “…But it’s not so dumb, I guess.”

“Mm,” he hummed in response—his pensive sound. “…Well. There’ll be a right time, eventually.”

I couldn’t help a scoff. “I like your optimism.”

“I try,” Sousuke quipped, and I couldn’t help a wry smile at the asshole’s dry sincerity. “You oughta get going,” he added, the reminder making me check my watch for the time while he laid on my bunk again with a comfortable grunt. “Don’t wanna hold up Prince Charming, after all.”

“God _dammit_ ,” I grumbled, my cheeks growing hot already. Sousuke swung his legs onto the mattress just in time, so the side of my fist thudded against the bed edge instead of his calves. “Fuckin’ shut up…!”

I ignored his amused snort as I pushed myself to my feet, turning around so I could pull a face at him before going about to pocket and sling on my various stuff.

…I wondered what I _was_ gonna say, when I’d get home and my mom would ask me how my week had been—

“Oh, right,” he bopped the side of his fist onto his palm, before giving me a stern face. “Make sure you get Nanase’s digits.”

“Holy shit, just—!” I threw my hands to my face in a groan. “Shut _up_ already…!”

* * *

I managed to have all my things for the weekend ready in my backpack, my earphones over my neck and my skateboard safely tucked under my arm. As I made a little skip towards the main gates, I went over what exactly to report to Gou when I got back home, and mentally reviewed the more selective version for my mom. Honestly, as nice as Sousuke’s sentiments were, there had to be a little _delicacy_ in revealing to your thoroughly Asian mother ‘ _so yeah I’ve been thinking of jumping the new guy’s bones in a sorta roundabout way got any words of wisdom?_ ’

Now wouldn’t _that_ be a fun talk…

Before my dread could catch up to me though, I spied Haru’s figure in the distance, waiting patiently at the gate, and…

—Shit, he looked _good_. Well, from behind, at least.

But what I could make of his outfit from the twenty-metre-or-so distance was promising anyway: he had this black hoodie T-shirt on that made his body look great—it fit the shoulders, contoured down the hips, and made his arms look a bit more pale and defined in all the right ways. Plus some light grey khakis rolled up to the mid-shin for the bottom half of his outfit, and he was casual and just relaxing but honest to god he looked like some model from the back—and probably the front too, unless he switched out his face for something more bearable and not so _distracting_ like Jesus _Christ_ could he be any more—

Alright, point is, he looked great out of uniform. And the fact he was waiting for me looking like that made me feel all fuzzy again.

I mean, it wasn’t like I forgot I’d see Haru in his casual clothes too, but…okay, I did, but that made the realisation all the better! And a lot more sudden, I guess, because…the guy’s dress sense was a lot better than I thought it would be—okay, I sounded like a grade-A asshole just now, but I was just pleasantly surprised. And god _damn_ if he didn’t look hot in that black hoodie of his.

It wasn’t like I stopped in my tracks to ogle him—I actually didn’t, I swear, I kept walking normally—but I sped up into a little jog as I neared the entrance.

“Oiii~” I called out, another grin coming on as I brought my arm up in a lofty wave. “Haru…!”

No one was around, and most of the students had either left campus or stayed in their dorms a safe number of blocks away, so I didn’t feel as on edge when Haru turned at the sound of my voice in the open. He even looked a little owlish from staring off into the distance, like I’d caught him off-guard from admiring the scenery.

“Rin,” he faced me more completely, and his eyes brightened from catching a better angle of the light. Then he did his slight, twinkling smile, which wasn’t so much the straw that broke the camel’s back as the straw that added to the haystack on the camel’s _already_ broken back. “You’re here.”

He had to stop doing that. I hoped he didn’t stop doing that.

“Hey,” I replied easily, lulling my pace to a stop when I was close enough to speak instead of shout. “Sorry I took a while. Did you wait long?”

He promptly shook his head. “I was only here for a few minutes.”

“That’s good,” I sighed in some relief. Now that we were face-to-face, I could see the front of his hoodie tee, which made me crack a smile—a blue silhouette of a dolphin, and _dammit_ all it matched his eyes. I nudged my head towards it. “I like your shirt.”

“Ah,” he murmured before doing the thing—the cute thing where he looked down and his chin buried into the puffy collar of his hoodie, just letting his tiny mouth be seen. “Thanks,” he blinked before starting to look over my outfit, ending his lil chin-bury and planting a seed of self-consciousness in me despite my usual confidence in my dress sense. “I like yours, too.”

My face probably then looked like my cartoon shark—a dumb grin plastered on with stars for eyes.

“Thanks!” I responded brightly while clapping Haru’s shoulder, jostling it a bit before set off. “Guess this makes us marine-animal themed shirt buddies, along with girly first name and swimming buddies.”

So I sounded a complete dork and was more than 300% sure that Haru was rolling his eyes under the surface of his calm look. But if he was done with me, he didn’t let it show and just nodded.

“Sharks suit you.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” I cocked my head to where Haru was peacefully looking ahead, my smile going mischievous as we headed down the sidewalk leading away from our school. “’Cause I’m menacing and badass, right?”

Of course I was just being a dumb tease, but on the inside I was a little excited. I mean, all of a sudden, I was at the cusp of learning about how Haru thought of me! Via prompted discussion of the characterising features of sharks, my all-time favourite animal, with a guy’s crush—said guy had to be a lil excited, at least.

While I was waiting I hopped in my step—primped my shoulders to be a bit straighter even with my weighing bags—and made my board snug under my arm while waiting for his follow-up.

“…No,” he shook his head before pondering. “It’s not that.”

My shoulders slumped. “Oh.” Not that I wanted to come off as scary to Haru, but the blunt correction left me a bit…disappointed? I think? “Then what is it?”

I bounced back from my momentary let-down, more curious as to how he thought sharks suited me, if not as menacing and badass creatures of the sea. He even put a finger to his chin, and I watched the healthy sunset scatter in the sea of his eyes.

“I think Rin is…” he paused to look at me, almost like he was double checking something, reminding me that his face was only a foot or two away from mine. “Much kinder than he seems.”

Okay, _ouch_.

“Um,” I had to blink at that, trying to choose which part of the backhanded compliment to process while he mumbled an immediate ‘no, that’s not right’ to himself. “Should I be flattered, or what?”

“I said it wrong,” Haru restarted, and I snuck the quickest glance of him chewing the edge of his lip to find the right words. “…You’re misunderstood.”

I swear this was leading up to potential flirting, and not a sudden psychotherapy session.

“Care to elaborate?” I scratched my cheek, bemused. “What’m’I like to you, anyway?”

He looked up, out of his thoughts. “Hm?”

“What am I like to you?” I asked, my heart jumping at my boldness, beating just beneath where I thumbed. “This guy: Matsuoka Rin.”

“…Matsuoka Rin…” he muttered my name with a soft contemplation, throwing me back to when I first caught him saying it in secret, back on the first day. As he visibly prepared the words in his head, my interest started to pique. “…He looks popular.”

I blinked at the sudden praise, feeling my ego rearing its head. “Really?”

“His first impressions are…cool,” he decided, his gaze soft on the ground. “Aloof, too.”

He receded into another meditative silence, while a giddy sense of pride welled within me. That must’ve meant that, in Haru’s eyes, I looked all sorts of _awesome_ when we first met. Of course realising that made me a new kind of happy altogether, but I didn’t thank him _right_ away for his uncanny observations. I just let a moment pass by to, _y’know_ , signify some humility as a pleased, helpless sort of smirk grew on my features before—

“But that’s not really right.”

“— _Excuse_ me?”

I snapped my head in his direction while he closed his eyes thoughtfully.

“Yeah.”

He even _hummed_ in self-agreement, and I realised the sudden thumping in my head was probably the vein in it popping out.

“ _Haru_ ~” I chanted with a smiling irritation, giving a helpful clench at his shoulder to indicate how stupidly easy it’d’ve been for me to lock him in a chokehold. “Care to explain what you mean by that…?”

In reality, I was actually a hell of a lot more amused than annoyed at the mixed signals, at Haru’s lil concentrated frown as he tried to piece together his next musing about me—which already wasn’t normal on my part, but if I fell for such a weird guy like Nanase in the first place I probably wasn’t in any position to call myself normal from the outset. Soon enough, his mouth opened…which was kinda small, actually, looking at it properly. But in a cute sorta way, what a surprise—

“He’s irritable, and not as cool as he looks,” he spoke up, startling clear in his words now than before that I stopped my mock-threats. “He’s also loud, overreacts a lot, and gets flustered very easily.”

My legs went on autopilot at that point, but Haru just kept strolling along the pavement, looking decidedly less shell-shocked than I was—like he was listing off what colours the sky was turning instead of what felt like my increasingly blatant flaws.

And he was so straightforward and _unaffected_ that…my jaw just fell slack.

“I…” my mouth wavered shakily between open and shut, and I felt an acute, flooding abashment while he looked above, pouting to find his next words that I suddenly didn’t want to hear as much. “Th-That’s…!"

“But Rin is very kind to me,” he continued, his voice turning softer at the corners than earlier, and I felt my shame recede at startling speeds. “He’s patient, funny, and very approachable. He’s smart in all his classes, so he has to be diligent and hardworking, too. He eats meat every day, loves to swim and train, and is always passionate,” he reasoned fondly, his eyes glowing, downcast at the sidewalk. “He’s actually a good person. That’s why Rin is…”

His pace stuttered, and I belatedly realised I could only see the smooth, upside-down teardrop shape of his hair at back of his head. I don’t even know when my arm stopped hanging off his shoulder and started dangling uselessly at my side, but I was just…so _absorbed_ by his simple, candid words. It almost felt dazzling, to hear his absolute, no-holds-barred honesty.

“Haru…?”

I wondered what he was about to say before he trailed off (because what is Rin, _what is Rin_??).

“That’s why sharks suit Rin, I think.”

He looked back to face me again. And when he did, with the tiny, subdued smile across his lips—it was electric enough to jumpstart my heart again.

But if I had to read into it, it couldn’t have been just that.

The fond way he said it, the content way he looked at me, the speechless way he appeared against the backdrop of the never-ending queue of low-rise apartments, tinted yellow by the impassioned sunset—the sky above with its clouds up high, scattered, patterned, dyed pink like a sea of cherry blossom petals against the lilac heavens, reflected in the majestic trees that lined the stony, hard streets that only me and this blue-eyed loser were stuck on together…

It all just stole my breath away.

I might’ve whispered his name, though I don’t really remember—if I did, it was completely accidental. But my voice was swept away in a gentle, god-sent breeze, one that summoned Haru’s gaze to mine.

“That’s…” I whispered, which increasingly faltered when he tilted his head at me, black hair gently falling to show more of his guileless, bright eyes. It was almost too much—like an overload of disgusting, mushy _warmth_ building inside my jumpy, tightening chest. “Haru, that’s…no one’s ever really _said_ , I mean—”

“Also your teeth look like they could kill someone.”

Aaand _that_ moment completely died.

Haru faced forward to admire the oncoming dusk, as if he didn’t just completely piss me off with his blunt remark and repressed smile.

“Is that _so_ …?” I growled through my teeth, my features scrunching into a wide grin as I brought my elbow down on his shoulder, bending him down to the perfect noogie height. “Maybe I should just bite your head off and we can call it a day, right? How’s _that_ sound?”

“ _Ah_!” Haru grabbed onto my arm that held him down, his unchecked, bubbling laughter entirely infectious as I noogied the shit out of his soft hair and hard head. “Rin, cut it out…!”

“I’ll cut _you_ out, piece of crap…!” I barked, still smiling uncontrollably. “How’s my iron claw feel, huh?!”

"Aha— _Rin_ , quit it…!”

I only stopped when he’d whinged a sufficient amount and his hair had stuck up in every direction, though my getting back at him for his shark-teeth remark backfired on me when he tried to pat his now-mussed locks down, with a half-hearted, quiet sigh and a tiny, gorgeous smile. It left a feathery feeling in my chest—shit, it gave me _toothache_ —a buzzing in my fingertips as I dug my fists into my pockets.

“So, uh—” I felt the tingling in my fingers grow when he looked at me, so I pushed my hands deeper in, straining the seams of my pockets as my mouth searched for conversation starters. “You excited for time trials on Monday?”

“Yeah,” he nodded straight away. “I can’t wait to be in the pool again.”

When he said that in such a dead-sure way, I felt a burst of excitement firing me up, eager to see him in action.

And it went on like that for a while—just two guys, chatting while on a walk to home from school. Getting to know each other slowly, comfortably, as we turned a sharp corner or round a tall street lamp, wherever and whenever we had to. And when I revealed something about myself, I’d find out new, quirky things about him, in the pleasant process.

When I told him my favourite colour combos were red plus anything on the grayscale, I found out that he liked any cool colours, subdued shades.

When I told him my favourite foods were sirloin steak, kimchi, and just about anything spicy, I found out Haru had been eating mackerel ever since he was five—when he first smelled it during a trip to the fish market and wouldn’t leave the stall until his parents bought a few.

When I told him I liked to read, skate, or shop in my spare time, I found out that he loved observing his surroundings—the nature around him in his very internal, personal style. And that when his hand moved—in the slow balling of his fist, the pinch of his fingers, the roll of his wrist—it meant he was thinking of ways to draw it.

When I told him I liked techno, pop, rap—anything with a beat I could run to—I found out that he liked songs that flowed, that soothed, that he could fall asleep to.

More than that, I found out that Haru didn’t like talking all the time, unlike what my motor-mouth could do. His silence wasn’t pressing or niggling, but entirely companionable instead.

Before I could carry on our conversation—when we passed the detour to the park, where it had that grassy courtyard, that one building to the left, and that one cherry blossom tree—we were momentarily stopped. A brown cat leapt gracefully onto the footpath from the stone wall beside us.

My face brightened on reflex. “Kitty!”

Haru bit back a laugh, and then my cheeks burned.

So _yeah_ , I had a soft spot for animals. Still do. But honestly, I couldn’t help but melt at the curious look it gave me with its big, green eyes. And I was even about to snap at Haru to not be so stingy, but I saw it blink at me with the tiniest meow and then I just wanted to scoop it my arms. Of course, the most of my affection I let show was a twinkling grin.

“Hehe,” I looked down at it purring near my ankles, and I grinned even wider as it happily slinked around my legs. “Aren’t you cute?”

It meowed again and _oh god_ it _was_.

It was a lost battle already—I went down into a squat and let my bags rest on the ground, so I could tickle under its furry chin without weight. And it was so fuzzy and happy and I think it actually _smiled_ with its little kitty teeth—god, I just let out another dumb chuckle again.

“…You’re good with animals.”

“Hm?” I craned my neck up, and I suddenly remembered that oh, _right_ , Haru was there too.

“Ah, yeah,” I supposed, scratching my cheek as I started to register how intently he was studying my interactions with Fuzzy McBrownCute low on the pavement. “I took care of a stray that I found in an alley, a year ago. But I loved cats before that, I guess.”

Haru went quiet again, which he did a lot during our little walk. Heck, if it gave me an excuse to pet this brown ball of wonder some more, I wouldn’t take it personally—

Oh. Oh wait, no. Haru squatted next to me. He put down his bags to squat next to me to look at the kitty and…

Fuckin’ jasmine scent, _dammit_.

I gulped down my rising jumpiness, blinking through the sudden haze of warmth filling my skull as he squatted close to me. My exhale felt wobbly, as I hoped that Haru would _not_ look at my face and its probable-or-definite pinkness and would just keep studying the cat in interest.

Slowly, he brought his hand up to stroke it. His hand was decently big, yet gentle—slender on the cat’s brown coat.

And with the enveloping—only permeated by the cat’s purrs, the cool air, and our calm breaths— the air seemed to shift, all of a sudden.

I felt at ease with him, just then. I felt at peace, even with my rebellious heartbeat, the unexplainable yet natural warmth spreading along my veins—it all became ambience, something soothing and constant while Haru was next to me, and we were comforting something together. I didn’t trust myself to speak with him so close, with the moment—intimacy, almost—starting to thread itself and hang over us protectively, like the expanse of the lilac sky.

Not to mention Haru plus cats were just a dangerous combination, end of.

So we were squatting on the sidewalk wordlessly stroking a kitty, which was just revelling in double the attention now. Its purring content let me to loosen up a bit, and I chuckled at how it stretched into Haru’s hand petting its soft back.

“I used to take care of cats in Iwatobi,” he mentioned, drawing his hand away to pick up his bags. “I’d set a pan of water on the genkan every night, so they’d come and drink it.”

I gradually stopped petting the cat as well, so I could shoulder on my bags again. “Bet you made them mackerel.”

Haru pouted. “And if I did?”

“That’s fine,” I laughed, because that was just so _him_ , wasn’t it? “You’re not so bad with animals yourself, though. Got any pets?”

“I had a dog when I was younger,” he answered, and I tuned in after the cat had sauntered away fully pampered. “Then I gave it away to a shelter, once I started high school.”

“Yeah?” I cocked my head, and we resumed our unhurried pace again. “I’ve a dog too, called Winnie. She oughta be doing well now, with my home-stay parents back in Australia.” I wondered aloud, falling quiet as I watched a plane scribe a cloudy streak in the rosy sky. “What’d you name yours?”

“Makkou.”

“Oh,” I nodded, dipping my head like a pendulum. Made sense—Makkou’s a pretty Japanese, pet-sounding name. “Alright.”

We fell quiet. I noted how clean the pavement was as my trainers brushed along it with my steps. Haru had some nice Vans on, too. Navy.

“…I named him after my friend, Makoto.”

“Hm?” I turned my head, blinking to attention while Haru faced the sunset again, pondering again. “Your friend?”

He nodded. “He can be a busybody, so at first I named my dog Makoto to make fun of him.”

“Oh _jeez_ ,” I let out a laugh of disbelief, more a puff than anything. “Tellin’ him to sit, stand, or roll over…”

“Eat, beg, poop in the right place,” Haru added, shrugging. “Things like that.”

“Oh my _god_!” I shook my head, and when I imagined doing something like that to Sousuke, I laughed even harder. “Shit, you’re awful!”

“His reaction was funny,” Haru affirmed, his amusement softening. "…Though I named it Makkou in the end, since he was being bothersome about it.

Even though he ended the sentiment with a sigh through his nose, he didn’t sound too bothered when he said it. I glanced at him out the corner of my eye, and he had a thoughtful, content sort of expression…nostalgia, I think. And for a moment, I entertained the wistful thought of how nice it would’ve been, if I’d met Haru earlier and he’d reminisce about me like that…but I swallowed down the useless thought and tipped my head, smiling helpfully instead.

“Miss him?”

Haru opened his eyes. “…Yeah.”

He looked surprised for a second, before his expression softened into something calm again. Something…sad, even.

Wait, shit—was he _sad_? About not seeing Makoto for so long? _Crap_ , did I need to comfort him? _CRAP_ , how could I comfort him?!

“Hey, i-it’s not so bad! I mean, uh,” I stammered, rubbing the back of my head when I realised he really did seem to miss his friend, Makoto. My fingers traced through the parts of my hair that were losing shape from the gel I put on earlier. “You could always try to message him through Facebook or whatever!”

“I could…”

“Yeah!” I started to relax from reeling my brain for ways to see Haru less down. That was a lot easier than I’d expected, actually—

“If I had a computer.”

SHIT. “ _Um!_ ” Think, think, think, this is SIMPLE, don’t just let Haru keep frowning and pouting like that! How else could he— _wait_! “Wh-What about texting? You’ve a phone, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, and even pulled it out of his hoodie pocket so a grey, touch-screen phone took up the length of his hand.

“Great!” I gave a small clap of victory. “You can call him up anytime, then!”

“…I,” he pressed his lips into a line. “Don’t know how to use this.”

That…pretty much explained the problem, didn’t it…?

Though, it wasn’t so surprising, really—he did just say he didn’t have a computer. Plus, he looked like the kind of guy that seemed more wholesome than to get sucked into technology, even though it was basically everywhere in this day and age.

But then I realised that he was determined not to look at me in the eye, and I didn’t know which was cuter: that Haru was technologically illiterate, or that he was embarrassed about admitting it.

“…Don’t laugh at me.”

Ah shit, he heard me giggle.

“Sorry, sorry,” I apologised, chuckling while I reassured his shoulder with a pat. “Alright, look, why don’t I help you get to grips with it? Then you’ll be able to do whatever, whenever with it. Sound good?”

Haru looked a bit torn when I’d offered, chewing his lip, obviously deliberating whether to accept or refuse my help. And thinking about it, throughout his week here in a brand new city, in a brand new school, I couldn’t remember him asking for my—hell, for anyone’s help, besides forgetting his pencil case, like, _once_.

But eventually, he wordlessly held out his phone. “Okay.”

“Alright~” I rubbed my hands together, jogging a couple of steps so I caught up right beside him. “This thing has battery, yeah?”

He nodded as I plucked it off his hands. “It’s off right now.”

“Right, right,” I pressed the lock button for a few seconds, and sure enough a start-up animation swirled on-screen. “I’m guessin’ you’ve tried it out already?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“…I couldn’t find the phone.”

“Alright, from the basics then,” I said, actually kinda impressed that he couldn’t find the phone app. But I kept my mouth shut and sidled closer to Haru, just so I could show him the screen better (and not ’cause I wanted to get closer to him and his hoodie _shut up_ ). “Okay, so just swipe the screen to unlock your phone, then if you just tap here…”

“Oh,” he murmured, puffing his cheeks a bit. “It’s right there, isn’t it?”

“Well, don’t worry, we’re gonna get there…”

I opened up his phone and went over how he could call people and add contacts, as well as how he could go to the messaging app from there and everything. While I was patiently explaining, though, I started to feel a bit of awe. I mean, his phone was _nice_. The screen was crisp and clean from its newness, everything loaded up in an instant, and he even had a 4G plan. Not that my own wasn’t too shabby, but I had to go through a bunch of second-hand flip-phones first.

“Damn, Haru,” I whistled, appreciating the sleek casing as I turned it around in my hand and—yep, a top-of-the-line camera. “You’ve got a fuckin’ cool phone here.”

“I’d rather have a simpler phone,” he admitted with a sheepish sort of frown. “One that can just call and text.”

I’d guessed he’d say that already, but I grinned cheekily anyway. “Wanna trade, then?”

“If yours is simpler, I wouldn’t mind.”

“So you can joke too, huh?” I snickered. I swiped to his camera app. “But hey, I bet as soon as you learn how to use this stuff to its full potential, you’ll be able to have loads of fun with it in the future, right?”

“…Maybe.”

“That’s the dream,” I clicked my tongue, and sure enough I’d connected to a network. “Alright, now, here’s where you can go on the internet and search for anything you want…”

From then, I demonstrated how to navigate through his phone, going through the motions and just showed Haru where everything he needed was—notifications, settings, things like that. It took a while for him to remember, but watching his face slowly light up with understanding was completely worth it.

After a while, I set up his main email account that would synchronise his things and let him download apps, which enabled me to get him some from the app store.

“I’m gonna download some stuff for you.” I told him as a heads-up, typing ‘snapchat’ into the search bar.

“What’s that?” Haru peeked over my shoulder.

“Snapchat, it’s, uh,” I rolled my free hand to find the words, humming as I tapped on the first result to install it. “It’s basically chatting, but instead of words you send photos or videos that disappear a bit after the other person sees ‘em.”

He frowned. “How does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it’s a bit weird at first,” I agreed with a nod, tapping the side of the phone impatiently as the loading bar filled. “But you get used to it, and it’s pretty fun to send what you see to who you want— _ah_ , there we go!”

I felt his confused gaze poke me like a curious child, but I went about signing up for him all the same. “Do I have to use it?”

“Yes,” I responded snappily, poking out my tongue while I filled out his email again. “How else’m’I supposed to see you over the weekend?”

“…True.”

His head turned away before he muttered that. He always did that whenever he felt kinda shy, and it made me giggle a bit.

“—Right, time for a username,” I announced, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard as I went deep in thought. “ _Hmm_ …ah, why not—” I started typing. “Hot…for…pools—”

“— _Oi_ ,” Haru reached over, but I held my phone out of arm’s reach before he could snatch it out of my grip. “Don’t give me that name!”

“ _Fine_ , fine,” I sighed dramatically at how dramatic Haru was being, and backspaced my brilliant username so I could try again. “How ‘bout this: married to mackerel, no spaces and a number two instead of—”

“ _Rin_ …!” he drew out his groan, and I tried to fight back a laugh at how funny it was to see him looking so done. “I won’t use it if you give me a stupid name.”

“Can’t have that, can we?” I grinned at him. We were about the same height, but from this close I had an inch over him, but I was stretching my arm up and using my other to push him back and—actually, uh, he was getting pretty kinda grabby, to get his phone and _wow_ his lips were so _red_ close up—wait, did I just drop my board?— **shit** , too close, abort, _abort_ —!! “O- _Okay_ , okay, I’ll let you do it, just— _here_!”

I gulped at his blue, blue eyes drawing near, and quickly shoved the phone into his hand just as his other clasped my shoulder (and _Christ_ , was it always so _warm_ when he touched me?). But before I could even register that I could’ve just moved an inch (an _inch_ ) to peck him on the cheek, he’d pulled away with phone in hand and frown on face.

I tried to regain my bearings with his weight suddenly off of me, my bags jostling and my board crawling off on the pavement as Haru strained himself hitting the right keys on the screen. I didn’t think he’d react so… _openly_ , like that, either.

“Hey, sorry,” I apologised genuinely, though still trying to rub the pressing warmth that lingered at my scalp. “I didn’t know you’d be that…upset.”

I’d trailed off for just a second, because…I mean, yeah, Haru was struggling a bit with the digital keyboard, but was he…

Blushing?

I was about to say something, I think. But before I could even take a breath, he glowered at me. He gave me squint and a pout, though with the faint tint in his cheeks, it just appeared ridiculously, incredibly cute.

“You’re annoying.”

All systems seemed to blip, when my heart skipped a beat.

“N-No, _you’re_ annoying…”

Good one, me.

I pouted as I picked up my board, but eventually I could only push out a sigh as my hand went up to my hair. “Look, I didn’t know you’d get so riled up, just…lemme help you with that—“ I pointed to the dragging battle between his fingers and phone. “—So we can exchange info quicker.”

His face had mistrust written all over it. “No.”

“Are you _serio_ —I’ll let you watch over my shoulder if you’re _that_ worried.”

I held back from rolling my eyes. Damn, coaxing Haru to give his phone to me was like luring some unwilling kitten—I should know, ‘cause that’s exactly what I’ve done before. Honest to god, I couldn’t tell the difference between promising to try some mackerel sometime for him and baiting some suspecting cat _with_ mackerel. Though after batting my eyelashes and watching him reluctantly pass it to me through his fluster, my luck won out and I was finally able to help him.

It was a little distracting, how he acted upon my offer and casually perched by the crook of my neck—as if I couldn’t just turn and nuzzle into his hair and his goddamn presence just made the neck at my proverbial collar dangerously hot. But in the end, I managed it to do it without any extra takes. It was simple, too: ‘nanaharu630’. Just his name plus his birthday.

“June thirtieth? So you’re a summer baby, then…” I tilted my head, realising something as I hit ‘ _register_ ’. “Hey, that means we’ll be able to celebrate it on the beach!”

His head lifted from my shoulder. “Like in Zushi?”

“Yeah.”

“Enoshima?”

“Mhm.”

“Hayama-Isshiki?”

“It’s a bit farther, but why not?” I shrugged through a smile. For someone that had just moved to Tokyo, he sure had his beaches planned out.

“Even Oarai?”

“Well,” I chuckled. “I don’t think you’d be able to go to all of them in one day. But yeah!” I grinned brightly. “We’ll be able to go to whichever beach you want for your birthday. Hell, maybe even before that, just invite some more friends so we can all swim, have a party—just do whatever!”

I opened my eyes to see what he would—shit, were his eyes _shimmering_?

“You really are amazing.”

I had to double-take because the _affection_ in his _voice_ —!

“A- _Ahaha_ , w-well…” I scratched my head slowly, trying to laugh off how happy I was making him so excited. “Then I guess it’s a date!” I joked. Haru blinked at me curiously and…

Wait. Hold a moment…

— _Why did I word it like that?!_

Asking him out on a date would be way too soon at this point—! _Wait_ , I wasn’t even asking him on a date in the _first_ place—!! Ah shit, he’s opening his mouth—c’mon, _quick_ , think of something to _say_ so he doesn’t pick up on it…!

“Rin—?”

“—A- _Ahh_ , look! Your thing!!” I started yelling over the sound of my embarrassment and shoved his phone back into his hands. “It’s done registering, wouldja look at that! _Man_ , the wonders of technology, just _wow_ …!” I said in a _wayyy_ too loud of a voice, pulling out my own phone so I could unlock it and we could leave my thoroughly damning wording aside. “So, uh, why don’t—” I had to clear my throat, _fuck_. “—Why don’t I add you so you can try out sending some snaps, yeah?”

I ignored how he squinted at me in worry, but sure enough he turned to access his own phone. “…Alright.”

Oh thank god I was so smooth.

“Mkay, nana…haru…” I bit my tongue as I added in his user, and promptly peeked over to check if mine had popped up. “There it is! Okay, so just tap the purple button on the right of my name and…what?”

Haru squinted. “Blacktail blossom?”

“—Blacktail _underscore_ blossom,” I held up a finger while correcting him. “For the most awesome shark and tree around,” I explained, but Haru still looked at me funny. “…Yo, what? Is there something on my face?”

He looked like he was about to say something, but just shook his head. “So, this button here, right?”

Man, he musta really liked my username!

So yeah, we tapped the purple-adding icon and we were set to send snaps during the final stretch to Haru’s apartment, since I still had a couple of blocks and a street to go.

“ _Yosh_ ~!” I rubbed the back of my hand excitedly, poising my camera at the ready. “Alright, Haru, send me your first snap!”

I bounced in my step as I looked over to Haru, who spent his time scanning over the screen and eventually tapping the bottom-right corner.

“Done.”

“Awesome!” I pulled down my contacts list, and sure enough nanaharu630’s square filled with pink. “Now, lessee what we’ve got _here_ —” A picture of the street we were on appeared for six seconds. “…The fuck?”

“Did it work?”

“Haru, you gotta add a caption, at least…”

“How do you do that?”

“Oh, right, just…here,” I leaned over to take a quick snap of the pavements and his shoes, and tapped it so the grey caption bar and keyboard came up. “That’s how you add it. Now send me another one!”

“Oh…” he nodded, “Got it.”

“Yeah!” I looked back to my phone, a little bounce in my step as I waited for his first real snap. I grinned as his square filled with pink again. Would he’ve taken a picture of the trees above us? Or the sweet sunset sky? Or maybe try to tease me by taking a snap of me? Or maybe he took a _selfie_ —wait, then I’ll have to explain what the weird double-cross icon means if I wanna screencap it—oh fuck it, come what may, I tapped the stupid, suspenseful bar of his username and—

It was the photo I took of the goddamn sidewalk, with a caption of ‘hi’.

“Did it work?”

“You—just—” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying not to sigh. “Okay, look…” I looked up to the sky for some inspiration, and…hey, did that cloud look like a—? It did! “Right. I’ll show you a snap you’ve never seen before.”

I felt him look at me as I lifted my phone up to the skies like Simba. “A snap I’ve never seen before?”

“Well, yeah,” I shrugged, bringing my shoulders down so I could type the caption. “’Cause it’ll be the first snap you get,” I set the timer for ten seconds in case something messed up, and pressed the send arrow before quickly waving to his phone. “Now hurry up and check!”

“Okay…” he murmured, and I watched tap my name and the picture flash before disappearing. “Ah—it…”

“No no no, you don’t _tap_ it,” I corrected, coming closer beside him. I gently pinched the bone of his thumb like a chopstick, guiding it to my name and pressing onto it. “You gotta tap and hold so the snap can come on for longer. It’s tricky at first, but you get used to it.” His thumb was slim and pleasant to hold, but I retracted my hand so he could see the snap better. I took a snap of a cotton-candy pink cloud. It’d looked exactly like a huge voyager ship, with all the sails and masts, and even holes scattered in it that looked like windows, so I’d typed ‘ _off to neverland_ ’ on it. “Pretty, huh?”

Instead of marvelling at it, he frowned a little. “You could’ve told me to look up.”

“That’d defeat the purpose of showing you how to open a snap,” I stuck out my tongue, before looking up putting a salute over my eyes. “…Plus, it’s still right there! Y’see it?”

“Yeah.”

I peeked back at his neutral expression—his relaxed brow, straight lips, sharp jaw. At first, he seemed detached to the sight. But when I focused better, his eyes shone and row of his fingers curled, and the corner of my mouth curved.

“You wanna draw it, huh?”

His brows raised, and I knew I’d probably startled him. Then he frowned petulantly, like it was disappointing I was able to read him, at least a bit. “…Yeah.”

I couldn’t help my chuckle. His actions really did speak louder than words.

“Then check this out,” I took a snap of the cherry blossom trees above us, and tapped the pen icon on the top right. “You can draw on top of the snap before sending it.”

The look on his face when I scribbled a smiley on top of the petals was priceless.

I guess that’s the point when he really got into it. Honestly, if Haru getting stuck into Snapchat wasn’t the most endearing thing to see on the planet, then I don’t know what is.

It was so _stupid_ how the tiny movements of his hands made his arms flex minutely beneath the short, black sleeve of his hoodie, and it was even stupider that that was what I was focused on. And his composed face was the cherry on top—there was nothing to betray his excitement except for the _tiny_ furrow of his brow nearly hidden by his fringe, and the way his eye followed his finger as it slid across the screen. Each snap he sent was prefaced with his nose inches from his screen as his hands bunched up to draw something on top, and every one was an honest-to-god treasure to open.

He doodled everything known to man with that colour slider and that fucking one-thickness pen—he drew a full cherry blossom flower from a single petal lying alone on the road with every shade of red and pink needed, coloured in a turtle wading across the sky with gold and green, and even rendered Fuzzy McBrownCute sauntering on the walls god _bless_ him.

“You like that one?” he asked me with a slight smile, and l vigorously nodded my head.

“Hell yeah!” I chuckled breathlessly, totally engrossed in his Snapchat masterpiece. “ _Shit_ , fuckin’ _uncanny_ …!” I took a screenshot before it disappeared, but when it went back to my list of contacts, Haru’s square filled again. “Another one? Damn, you’re getting faster at this…eh?” I blinked. He’d taken a snap of me enjoying his snap and added blush marks to my cheeks and—wait, were those _sparkles_ in the background? And did the fucking caption say ‘ _cute_ ’?! “Wh—This is— _Haru_ —!!” Dear fuck, I thought I was going to drop my phone from my fingers detaching in sheer _embarrassment_ before he looked over to double-check it.

“That’s my favourite one.”

“—The _fuck_ it is, _I’m not cute_ …!” I whipped my head over to Haru, and I couldn’t even care that I was definitely blushing up a storm. “I should be badass or ripped or _anything_ —anything other than _cute_!”

He looked up from his phone. “Check your Snapchat.”

“What—? Oh,” I paused my mini-rant to tap on his username. “Okay, fine, but I’m still— _the fuck?!_ ” He sent me another one of me yelling at him, _at that second_ , with even _more_ of a blush. “You—how—?! I didn’t even _see_ you take one of me…!”

He fucking _shrugged_. “It’s not difficult.”

“I’m tryna get angry at you, for fuck’s sake!” I blustered, my teeth mashing together as my face felt like it was blazing. “Don’t call me cute!”

He goddamn _cocked his head_ at me, and I didn’t give a _shit_ how much he looks like some fucking kitten incarnate, I am in no _way, shape, or form_ —

“But you are.”

…C…C-Cu… _uuu_ …

“I—I’m _not_ …!” I buried my head into my elbow, where I could feel my cheeks flaring up and everything just shutting _down_. “You’re fucking _wrong_ , ‘cause I’m _not_ …!”

“See?”

“S- _Stop it_!” I bent in my wrists and my hands found the back of my neck, and my protests came out muffled since my face was mashed against my clearly hard and _not_ -cute biceps but I couldn’t look Haru in the eye. “Stop messing with me already…!”

Hearing a faint click, I froze up. I all but snapped my head up to see Haru studying his phone in interest.

“How do I save snaps?”

“ _You piece of shit…!_ ”

I was gonna run him and his stupid phone to the goddamn ground, but the guy had way more strength than I’d anticipated—he brought his arm up as a barricade like I was basic shit, and held his phone back at arm’s length so I couldn’t reach it.

“Ah,” is what he said, fuckin ‘ _ah_ ’. “Found it.”

“Haru, I _swear to Christ_ , if you save that I _abso-fucking-lutely_ —!”

“Saved it.”

He tapped it like he was brushing dust off his screen, and I slumped across his arm like I was kinda dead.

“You’re evil,” I muttered against his arm, then bringing up my chin so he could see my scowl of disgust and betrayal and everything bad loud and clear. “I hope you get a cold so bad, it lands your ass in bed so you won’t get to swim in _ever_.”

“That won’t happen,” he responded, and he obviously didn’t give a rat’s ass about my total embarrassment at his hands. “Besides, it’s not like I’m lying.”

At this point, my poor, sorry face was a just a glass that’d been over a Bunsen burner too long—probably glowing and burning like fuck.

“It’s just…” I muttered under my breath as I shoved my hands into my pockets, just trying not to let my fluster take over body and soul. The usual. “It’s weird, to think that guys are cute, instead of _buff_ or _handsome_ , or whatever…”

I glanced over to see if he kind of understood, but instead he gave me a look of gentle confusion.

“Is it?”

At that instant, my mouth stopped functioning for a number of reasons that happened in a specific order—besides the fact I felt fucking _exhausted_ trying to find the universal gesture signifying ‘ _get a clue, asshole_ ’.

First off, his screen was angled so I could see he’d been doodling flowers all around me and generally making me out to be some bishoujo heroine, and he looked mildly pissed that I was disturbing him from doing so. Second, his expression shifted to his gentle confusion in a certain, minute way—brows up, eyes open, lip pouting—and coupled with the sway of his hair and tilt of his head it all added up to the jarring thought of ‘ _wow he’s hot cute I mean so cute I just wow_ ’. And, since I proved myself wrong within the span of two seconds realising that no it’s _not_ so weird to think that guys can be mind-numbingly adorable, I inevitably shut up.

“…I guess not…” is what I muttered in the end.

“Speak up, Rin. I can’t hear you.”

—But like _hell_ I’d let him hear me say that.

I thought of groaning out loud and telling him to shut up as a knee-jerk reaction, but for some reason I was teetering on the weird balance between being hyper-aware of everything—from the trees to the leaves and his lips—and being completely drained as in I couldn’t be assed to even function properly and maintaining a steady breath seemed like a bit of a chore for me.

My phone chimed. New snap from nanaharu630.

A pic of my profile with a star on my eye and a toothy grin on my mouth so I looked like my shirt. ‘ _have a shark_ ’.

I snorted before taking a snap of Haru, and I drew on a fin and a bottlenose that may or may not have taken a similar aesthetic to a dick. ‘ _have a dolphin_ ’.

I pocketed my phone and didn’t even bother to check how he reacted, even though he was right next to me and we were less than fifty metres from his house. Though sure enough, my phone vibrated in my hand again.

It was me as a shark again, but this time as a bishoujo shark—complete with flowers, blushes, sparkles, the works. ‘ _have a cute shark_ ’

I wrinkled my nose, ‘cause now he was just doing it to piss me off (as if that _wasn’t_ what he was doing in the first place). And because I was simply a person of model maturity, I turned aside so I could flip him the bird via the wonders of technology. ‘ _you piss me off_ ’.

A couple of seconds after I’d sent it, another one of his was waiting for me—it was me frowning at my phone doodle-less, except it looked a lot like I was holding back from cracking a huge, embarrassing grin more than anything. ‘ _really?_ ’

That was totally ridiculous, I thought rightly as I bit the itchiness in my lip and decidedly not a smile. And I was going to share that when I pried my attention off my screen and up to my left where Haru was walking, but then I spotted a path leading to the porch of his house that cut my train of thought short.

“Ah, well…I guess this is you,” I remarked, swivelling on the heel of my foot so I squared up to the entrance. For the suburbs of Tokyo filled with grey and concrete, his house looked quite traditional—wooden, stout, elegant. “Thought you lived in an apartment, honestly…hey, it’s even got your nameplate and everything.” I gestured to it, and at the side of the entrance there was ‘Nanase’ in clean font, just to make whom the house belonged to nice and clear.

“My parents travel a lot,” Haru explained. “So they bought a few houses around Japan.”

“Oh, okay,” I nodded, puffing out my cheeks. “So, do you live with them? Your parents?”

“No. They’re abroad, right now.”

“Ah, right…” I rubbed the lobe of my ear a bit, wondering where the sudden awkwardness had come from. “So, uh, you live alone?” I asked without thinking, because that’s the _dumbest_ question to follow up when he’d said his parents are abroad and we'd even covered that before one lunchtime ago, I swear—

“I,” he paused, chewing his lip. “…Yes.”

…Huh?

“Haru?” I slanted my head a bit, ‘cause that’d felt…kinda off. He wouldn’t just pause like that out of the blue. “Something wrong?”

“I’m fine,” he softly shook his head. “I just remembered we were set a lot of homework.”

“Yeah, that’s true…” I clicked my tongue in understanding—second year was the time when the workload started to pile, ‘cause uni and all. “If you got any troubles, though, hit me up and I’ll help you through ‘em. ‘Cause I am, as you said, _diligent_ and _hardworking_ , after all.”

A smile graced his features again, and it looked much more comforting than his tension just then.

“Praise gets to your head easily, doesn’t it?”

“Nah, not really,” _Only yours._ “But seriously, I’m pretty good at my subjects, so just call me anyti— _oooh_ …!” I snapped at Haru’s hand, the rush of my memory making me hop on the spot. “Hand me your phone, quick quick quick.”

He did, but not without a healthily confused brow-tilt. “Why?”

“ _Numbers_ , dumbass!” I explained in a hurry, even though neither of us had anywhere to hurry to so it was more so the fact I was a bit excited. “We don’t have each other’s numbers yet!”

I had him dial up my number, since he’d said he didn’t know his own, and soon enough I was grinning down at my new contact—first name Haru, last name Poolboy. Then he went and named me CutestShark Rin, so we’re even in our shitty teases I s’pose.

“I have to go now,” Haru adjusted his bags a final time. “See you, Rin.”

“Yeah,” I was about to see him off, before I spotted him about to pocket his phone. “…But on _second_ thought—”

“Hm?— _Ah_ —!” he blinked at me frantically when I leaned over to snatch his phone out. Then looped my arm around so I hugged his shoulder close to me, and swiped down on his lockscreen to get his camera out while he probably went into a state of confusion. “O- _Oi_ , Rin, what’re you—?”

“Takin’ a selfie with you, so look up, shut up ‘n’ smile!”

“Selfie—?”

My mouth split into the widest grin, and I could barely see through the crinkle of my eyes as I bunched our faces into the frame and captured the timeless look of ‘ _what’s going on_ ’ on Haru’s face.

“Oh, _perfect_!” I barked in a loud, uninhibited laugh, and my fingers promptly tapped around to settings while Haru was still regaining his bearings.

“Why my phone?” was the one question he asked.

“Dunno,” I answered with an honest shrug, finding the image again and waiting for the tiny loading icon. “I’m an impulsive guy.”

“That’s your excuse…?”

“That, and you probably won’t be able to change it so easily,” I added, handing his phone back with an innocent smile. “Didn’t tell you how to change wallpapers, did I?”

Haru frowned as I slapped his phone onto his open hand. “Wallpapers…?”

“Yep, didn’t think so,” I nodded assuredly, before turning tail and letting my board clatter onto the sidewalk. “Later, Haru!”

I turned back to give him a proper wave, and the last expression I caught before rolling off was an amused, sighing sort of smile, before he waved back to me, too. And when I dwelled on our conversations throughout the walk, momentarily forgetting about what to report to Mom, or Gou, or Sousuke, I kinda just floated all the way home with the most blissful, dumb-looking grin on my face.

“He’s _totally_ into me,” I nearly tripped over the curb. “…I hope.”


	11. Chapter 008 (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroine goes home for the weekend for sibling bonding.

So, me returning home after the first week was apparently a bigger deal than I’d first thought it was, if my sister waiting outside of the apartment block instead of our actual house was anything to go by. My heart warmed instantly when I saw her rocking on the balls of her feet, wearing her light stay-at-home dress with one of my hoodies worn on top, and looking around at the building entrance waiting for me. When she turned to the sound of my skateboard skidding to a halt, she didn’t waste any more time idling around.

“Onii- _channn_ ~!”

I couldn’t help grinning when she ran towards me, even though I was at the end of the street.

“Hey, Gou― _ahk_!” my limbs locked up in her sudden tackle-hug, which actually winded me a bit. “Wh-Whoa, easy there!”

“I’m really glad you’re back!” she announced, and at that point I realised that trying to wriggle out was gonna be pointless. “Your muscles are extra firm, too. That’s just like you to keep in shape!”

“C’mon, enough with that…!” I moaned, but tensed up when my bag strap was slipping off my shoulder. “Wait, seriously, I’m still carrying stuff!”

“Sorry, sorry,” she said, not sounding very sorry as she loosened her death-grip into a thankfully more comfortable embrace. “I’m just excited to see you, that’s all.”

“ _Yeah_ , yeah, good to see you too…” I huffed, trying to hide how I was kinda touched at her eagerness. By the sounds of her giggling, though, she didn’t seem to buy my aloof tone. “Mom’s inside, yeah?”

“Actually, she went out to get groceries,” Gou answered, pulling back from her hug to beam at me. “Since you’re back for the weekend, she’s gonna cook steak for dinner!”

“Aw man, you serious…?” I clicked my tongue before scratching my hair worriedly. “What’s she doing that for when her back’s still getting better?”

Yeah, steak was good—great, even. But my mom’s health was a priority over some dish I could have anytime.

“Oh, don’t be like that. Mom’s basically all better now,” Gou insisted, swatting my arm. “You worry too much, you know.”

That might’ve been true, but I still didn’t let it slide so fast. “But, still, I mean―”

“ _Really_ , Nii-chan, don’t worry about it,” she promised. “I’ve seen Mom, and her back’s doing fine.”

I was about to make some other retort, but I realised that, in the end, I hadn’t been around in a week. It almost felt like I was neglecting my duty as the man of a house, feeling out of the loop.

But all I could do was just close my mouth.

“Fine, I’ll believe you,” I relented with a sigh through my nose. “No sense standin’ around here any longer. Let’s get inside.”

“Mm!” Gou nodded in full agreement, before letting go of her wrists behind her back. “Let me help you carry something―”

“ _Nah_ ah ah!” I swivelled my bags from her on reflex. “I can carry everything fine.”

“Geez, honestly…” Gou shook her head like I was helpless, or something. “It wouldn’t kill you to let me help out…”

“I’m the big brother, so I’ll handle the bags,” I stated firmly, and gratuitously ignored how she rolled her eyes at that. “You can be cute, and…I dunno,” I looked around, and nodded at my skateboard by her feet. “Pick up my board, I guess.”

She lowered her shoulders before kicking my board up so she could grab it easier. “Yay, I’m _useful_ ~”

“Oi, don’t sass me,” I tousled her hair, and smiled when she whined at the gesture. “So anyway, how’s school going so far?”

“It’s pretty much the same,” she shrugged, hugging my board with both hands as we made our way into the apartment. “I guess high school is more work than middle school, but we’re not getting too much yet.”

“That’s good,” I responded, nodding once at the guard as we entered the block. “Havin’ any fun yet?”

“Hana-chan’s in most of my classes, so it’s fine,” she reassured. Hana-chan was her long-time friend, Chigusa. They’d known each other since the start of middle school. “I’m making some new friends since there are different classes this year, but there’s no one new or anything,” she lamented while we went up the stairs. “It’s almost boring, to have everyone the same as last year and the year before.”

“You’re not tryna scope out someone to date, right?” I checked, warily squinting as we passed the first floor—halfway there. “More importantly, no one’s asked you out or anything, _right_?”

“ _Onii-chan_ , seriously!” she tipped her head back in a laugh, and the end of her ponytail tickled the middle of her back. “I’m not looking for anyone, and no one’s asked me out, either.”

“ _Good_ ,” I nodded gruffly. “I wouldn’t let anyone lay a finger on you anyway.”

She shook her head again in that way that meant she thought I was being over-protective, but I didn’t allow any room for argument on that front—even though I’d never been interested in anyone in particular before Nanase, it didn’t mean I didn’t know what urges were, and that other guys had far _less_ healthy urges. Talks in the locker rooms and even casual conversations were bad enough, with loads of loud guys turning the feelings of girls into some kinda game. I never liked any of that from the outset, and god strike me dead if I let some unworthy scum do that to my precious little sister, who was (and _is_ ) _way_ too young to be thinking of dating in the first place—

“Anyway,” Gou spoke up, turning her head back so her hair twirled around when she twinkled at me. “What about you?”

“Eh?” I raised a brow as we reached the second floor, close to home and pulled out of my mental rant. “What’re you talking about?”

“I _mean_ , what about you?” she repeated, rocking her head side-to-side and looking all innocent, clutching my board as we approached the door. “Are _you_ interested in anyone?”

Oh, _shit_.

Fuck, I could’ve broken the doorknob or something with the tension that just suddenly _gripped_ me. “Wh-What, me?”

“Oh my god…” Gou suddenly gasped (why did she gasp?) and I pursed my lips as I finally wrestled through the front door. “You _like_ someone?”

“N- _No_ ,” I insisted after letting her in, and fumbled again with closing the door behind me. “I never said I— _oi_!” I reached out when she dumped my skateboard on the sofa, at least leaving the wheels rolling face-up. “Don’t throw around my board, will ya?!”

“Board _nothing_!” Gou started getting up in my face, jostling my arm with sparkling red eyes and not helping the never-ending butterflies in my stomach one bit. “Onii-chan _likes_ someone?”

“No, onii-chan does _not_!” I gritted my teeth, wondering why I couldn’t just be a convincing liar and get Gou off my case. “Just—I _don’t_ , okay?”

“Oh, fine…”

She poked out her tongue, and I felt my shoulders relax.

It didn’t seem like she would press the matter any further, so I went about dumping my bag into my bedroom so I could unpack later. While I was making my way to the water dispenser in my living room though―and not because I had suddenly gotten really thirsty out of nervousness, hell no―Gou’s chin was propped up on the sofa cushions, so it looked like she was a disembodied head with wary eyes and a stubborn pout.

Her intense judgement was putting me on the spot, too…I mean, couldn’t a guy rehydrate without his sister’s searing scrutiny, or something?

I lifted the glass to my lips, and noticing her stare I flashed her a lil grimace.

“What…?”

She kept staring at me, so I looked aside while finally getting some water. “Were there any new transfer students in your class, then?”

“ _Pflh_ ―!” God _dammit_ I choked.

“Oh my _god_!” Gou pushed herself up, suddenly bursting into a squeal (why did she _squeal_?). As I was beating my chest in spluttering coughs, she did some barrel roll off the sofa cushions and nearly pounced towards me. “Onii-chan likes a _transfer student_?!”

I don’t know if my choking stopping was an entirely good thing, because that meant I had to answer to her wide, red, far-too-goddamn-curious eyes. “Wh―I― _That’s totally_ ―!!”

“This is so exciting!” she started jumping around, grabbing my arm and gushing (why was she _gushing_?!). “Onii-chan, you’ve _gotta_ tell me!”

“Wh-Wh-Wh- _Why should I tell you_ …?!” I yelled in a desperate disbelief, while squeezing the now empty glass dangerously hard.

“So I can give you the best love advice, obviously!” she started to hug my arm closer, and I felt increasingly trapped as she rubbed her head against my shoulder. “C’mon, tell me…!”

“Uh―” I glanced between her nuzzling and my bedroom door, gauging my odds for escape. “L-Look, Gou, seriously, we don’t needa suddenly―”

“But onii- _chan_ ~!” she drew out her whine, and I cursed at how goddamn _strong_ her hold was. I just tried to will away the onslaught of heat in my face when she looked up at me. “Can I try to _guess_ her name, at least?”

_Her name._

I froze up.

“Uh…” I felt my jaw go slack, and a cold dread slither through my insides, even through the arm she was hugging so warmly. “I…That’s really…”

My eyes darted around even more, if possible. Bouncing between the cream walls, framed portraits, wooden tables―anywhere but Gou’s eye. But out of the corner of mine, I knew she sensed how apprehensive I became.

“…Do you really not want to tell me that much?”

She’d asked me softly, and her arms went slack around mine. When I blinked, and turned back at how downtrodden she really felt, and regret lurched through my stomach.

“ _No_!” I blurted out, and I immediately corrected myself at her look of surprise. “No, I mean, I…I _do_ wanna tell you.”

I’d said it slowly, to cowardly give myself room to back out―it wasn’t like I didn’t trust her or anything; that wasn’t it in the slightest. Though all I could take solace in in that moment was that Gou’s eyes were lighting up again.

“Just not―not now, at least.”

“Oh,” she murmured. Blinking, she tilted her head at me. “So, when you’re ready?”

“Y―” I swallowed, realising that the sip of water hadn’t really worked. “Yeah…when I’m ready.”

After engaging in a quiet stare-down―hers curious and mine twitching―I felt some of the pressure in my gut go tentatively gentler. I felt kinda jumpy after she giggled out of nowhere, though.

I squinted. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head, daintily lacing her hands behind her back again. “It’s just that I’ve never seen you blush like that about someone,” she reasoned, and the familiar sense of ‘ _fuck not again_ ’ just came rolling back. “So the person onii-chan likes must be really special.”

Even though I still felt a lil uneasy and a lot embarrassed, I couldn’t help but feel heartened at how purely she believed the person I liked was special. And hey, Haru really was someone special―someone who stood out from the crowd, even if it was in his own weird, reserved way.

Though it raised the question of whether Haru was special because he had a dick, but I wasn’t about to bring that up.

“Thanks,” I said quietly, meaning it from the bottom of my heart. Even though I was still a little scared, I knew there’d be the right time to tell her.

“No problem,” she nodded dutifully, before clapping her hands together. “Oh right! I need to show a new keychain I bought!”

She hurried off to her room where she kept her stuff―her knick-knacks, toys, manga, plushies, basically everything she owned was in there and―

…Hold a moment.

Didn’t she have a whole stash of homo manga?

…

“―Hey, Gou…!” I called out, suddenly feeling much more relaxed as I approached her room. “Actually, I can tell you who I like now…!”

* * *

Okay, so I couldn’t tell her exactly who I liked _now_ , but my memory sped up the whole process tenfold. It must’ve been the nerves that clouded my thought process, but I knew the only instances when there was any sort of homosexuality (i.e. a new BL chapter released), my sis would be there all sorts of sighing and giggling.

Not that I wanted her to sigh and giggle over the idea that I liked Haru, but generally I wanted it to warrant a positive reaction. ’Cause not-disgust and not-utter-rejection was generally preferable, y’know?

She was sitting at attention on her bed, on her ankles as I sat in her pink computer chair, trying to figure out how to word it. Of course, I still had insecurities and doubts swimming in my mind, but I couldn’t be wishy-washy. I just…needed some time to flush them out.

“Alright, so…yeah, okay…wait…” I’d breathed out for the fourth time and pulled through my hair for the sixth, reduced to blinking into the eyes of her Rilakkuma plushie at the foot of her bed as she kept patient. “Yeah, okay, don’t…―right, it’s gonna come as a bit of a… _surprise_. Who I like.”

She frowned. “Even if she isn’t so pretty, it shouldn’t be surprising that you like―”

“―No, no, not _not_ pretty!” I shook my hands, clarifying quickly before thinking of Haru’s face, my fuckin’ pathetic brain. “God, not _not_ pretty at _all_.”

“Oh, okay,” she relaxed and pouted innocently again. “Then what’s so surprising about liking her?”

“…Yeah, see, the thing is,” I started with a huge breath leaving my mouth, like a reverse whistle. My elbow leaned onto the desk so I could make a gesture and clap over my mouth in repeated alternation. Kinda like a fish. “It’s not…quite like that.”

She frowned again. “You’re confusing, onii-chan.”

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just―” the sentence died crawling in my throat, and I had to take a deep, long breath to restart my mouth again. “— _It’s-not-a-her_.”

Her eyes widened.

“…Not a her?”

“Yeah, no,” I nodded, swallowing. “Not…not a her.”

There. I said it.

I admitted I was gay for someone, to my baby sister, and―dammit, she was just blinking at me, not saying anything, and this is where I’d find out she just thought boy’s love was fun on print and not as her older brother who’s supposed to be manly and protect her and not go around liking some other guy this was where it all went to shit this was a _horrible_ idea―

“…So…it’s a him!”

She reached to the conclusion with a bright smile, catching the side of her fist, looking distinctly…

… _un_ -completely-ashamed.

“Uh…yeah,” I nodded cautiously, like her sweet reaction could suddenly turn sour. “Yeah, it’s…a him.”

“So the transfer student you like is a guy?”

“Yeah.”

“And he’s really pretty?”

“Y―” I clenched my jaw, blushing to my ears, probably. “Yeah.”

She squinted. “How are his muscles?”

“ _Wha―I―!!_ ” I flailed about in the computer chair, before remembering that it was my muscle-fetishising sister I was talking to, and slumped in defeat. “I-I dunno, they looked pretty solid to me, so…I guess—?”

“ _Jeez_ , why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she threw her arms up, and I felt a brilliant, _sweet_ relief lick at the edges of my worry. “You could’ve just said you liked a guy and I would’ve given you tips five minutes ago!”

It hadn’t even been three, honestly, but I refrained from that comment because her features softened again.

“…Did I force you into telling me?”

I thought about it. Even though she was pushy in the beginning, she let me wait till I was ready to say anything. So I shook my head.

“Nah. You didn’t force me or anything; I told you because you deserved to know.”

She gave me a cautionary glance. “Not because you wanted to tell?”

“…That’s,” I chewed my lip, trying not to mess up on my following wording. “I was afraid you might’ve…not _liked_ me, liking a guy. Or more like, I thought that you would think I was…I, I dunno―”

“You thought I would treat you differently,” she supplied for me, growing more disbelieving by the second. “Because you like another boy?”

While that was an inkling of what I’d felt ten seconds ago, it suddenly sounded a lot more stupid out loud. “Um…well―”

I couldn’t continue making my feeble excuse, because she pushed herself off her bed. Knees on the floor she buried her face into my shoulder, and wrapped her slim arms around my back to pull me into a hug.

“H-Hey…” I looked between the now empty bed and my sister, who was hugging me so intently. My arm hovered from the armrest, like I’d forgotten how to hug someone back. “Gou—”

“I’m offended, onii-chan.”

Her words were muffled against my shirt, but I felt my eyes grow wide at her serious tone. “Huh―what?”

“I’m offended you think I would treat you differently because you like a boy,” she pulled back so her hands clasped my shoulders, her arms straight as she looked at me. Her features blossomed into a gentle smile. “You know I love muscles, after all.”

“Well, uh,” I laughed quietly. “I guess so?”

She nodded with determination. “I’m an expert, and that means I can help you. I want to do everything I can to make him see that you’re smart, funny, cool…”

“Aw, stop it…” I squirmed in a lil chuckle.

“—Shush, let me finish. Cool, sporty—also, your perfect body,” she added, nodding. “That’s very important.”

“Clearly,” I rolled my eyes.

“―But more importantly, I’ll show anyone who likes you that you’d be the best thing that happens to them,” she promised, and the conviction in her tone took me aback. “And whoever it is, I’ll make them pay if they break your heart.”

It felt so dumb, to be reassured so earnestly by my baby sister, to feel my heart swell ridiculously at her unwavering words. But I did all that anyway.

“…Gou…”

“You’re family, onii-chan. I’ll never love you less just because you don’t happen to like girls,” she declared. Her eyes weren’t welling with any tears, but they shimmered with a resolve I’d never seen. “I’m offended I have to tell you that, and I’m offended that you think I’d treat you any differently than my big, stupid brother.”

She stopped talking, and the room went quiet.

I had no idea what to say, but I realised a lot of things.

One: I was a paranoid, bonafide dumbass. Two: Gou was much, much smarter than I could ever hope to be.

I pulled her back into a tighter, longer hug.

“I’m an idiot…” I muttered, feeling her laugh against me when she hugged me back.

“The biggest,” she agreed, and even though I couldn’t see her face I could hear her smiling. “But I’m glad you told me in the end.”

“S’pose so,” I admitted, adjusting my chin over her shoulder. “…Love you.”

“Love you too,” she whispered back. All of my silly anxieties that I’d built up so much before telling her eroded so easily―like little pebbles washing away with the tide on the shore. “Are you crying, onii-chan?”

“ _No_ , m’ _not_.” I huffed irritably, and my eyes did _not_ feel moist as she went laughing again. “And here I was thinking you were pretty okay for a baby sister.”

“Okay? I’m the sweetest,” she joked, and I rolled my eyes as she sat back on her bed. “…I’m guessing Sousuke-kun already knows, right?” When I nodded, she giggled. “That can’t be helped, really.”

“Hey, telling him wasn’t exactly a cakewalk, either,” I protested, mumbling. “He keeps making fun of me now.”

“I’m more worried about Sousuke-kun, honestly,” she quipped, making me lower my brow. “You must keep him up from all your gushing.”

“How could you even say that?!” I wailed, but she just put a hand over her mouth to stifle her silly laughter. "You can’t just go jumping to conclusions like that―I’ve only just told you that I even _like_ a guy!’

“That’s true, but now you gotta tell me _more_!” she followed up, and it seemed like the more she beamed, the more I winced. “Make sure you tell me everything, okay? If you miss anything out, I’ll snoop around in your diary again―”

“ _Okay_ , okay, I’ll talk…!”

Gou made herself comfortable with her flowery body pillow while I swivelled the computer chair to making talking a little easier. I told her about meeting Haru for the first time, realising he was in my class, and touring around the school―so that included all the petal stuff, the name, the stripping scene; basically all the moments that drew squeals and open mouths. Then I started delving into the little details of our lunchtimes together, and mentioned that I’d actually walked a good part of the way home with Haru, and then I’d seen Gou and the house not even five minutes afterwards.

“So _that’s_ why your hair’s all shiny!” she cooed, gesturing to my head with her hand in my long hoodie sleeve. “It’s usually tied up for school, too!”

“Yeah, yeah…” I grumbled. I pulled at the ends of my hair a bit, though the gel had mostly worn off from this morning. “But the important thing this, I got his number,” I un-pocketed my phone to her gasp. “… _And_ snapchat.”

She immediately crawled over. “Let me see him.”

“Wha―no! _Why_?!”

“I want to see Nanase-kun’s eyes, clear as water!” she argued, and hearing the description coming out of her mouth instead of mine made me realise just how embarrassing it was. “And I want to see if he looks as cool as you said.”

“A-Alright, hang on a moment…” I mumbled. But when I navigated to my phone gallery, I realised I hadn’t saved any shots of him on my phone. “Oh, uh…if you wanna picture of him, I’ll have to ask if he’ll send me the one I took for him.”

“You took one for him?”

“Yeah, uh, I took a selfie of him and me and set it as his wallpaper before I had to leave…” I explained shortly, biting my tongue between my teeth as I sent a quick text to him.

> yo haru  
>  could you to send that selfie of us to me?  
>  **✔ Sent**

“A reminder of you, how romantic~” my sister cooed, making me retort a half-hearted ‘shut it’. Before I could come up with anything better, my phone buzzed with a new text message, and I was actually surprised that Haru managed to reply so fast.

> why

“Fuckin’ rude,” I scoffed, my fingers tapping another reply.

“You say as you blush.”

“Quiet, you.” I sent my message.

> cus  
>  now are you gonna send it or what?  
>  **✔ Sent**

“You’re not being really charming either, you know…” she raised a brow. I’d rolled the computer chair and myself closer so she could see my convo with Haru, so that meant she was perched at my shoulder to deal out her snark. But I couldn’t respond to her immediately, since Haru had texted again.

> fine  
>  let me figure it out

“ _See_?” I flashed my phone to Gou in a gloat. “Don’t needa be charming to get ’im to do what I want.”

“That makes him sound more like a slave than anything…”

“Oi, what did I tell you ‘bout keepin’ quiet?” I reminded, rereading his three simple messages as I waited for the pic. “No but, this is the first time I’ve asked him to do something for me, I’m pretty sure.”

“So does he rely on you a lot?”

“Nah, opposite,” I shook my head. “Throughout the whole week, the only thing he asked me for was a pen. He even lives alone, y’know.”

“Ooh,” she marvelled. “Nanase-kun must be really independent, then.”

“That’d explain why he’s kinda reserved― _ah_ , here it is!” I announced, almost proud at the sight of the ‘image attached’ message Haru had sent. “He went and figured it out, after all.”

“Stop being so _fond_ and open it!” she snatched my phone out of my grip, and huddled into the corner of her bed while I spun around.

“H-Hey, I’m not _fond_!” I declared, and definitely _not_ in a stammer or anything that would make me sound less convincing. “Haru’s almost tech illiterate, so him figuring out to send a pic is―”

“You couldn’t be prouder, I get it, but _now_ ,” she held up my phone, and I just shut up ’cause there was no winning against her. “I get to see what this Nanase-kun looks like! No wait―I’ll close my eyes first.”

“How does that change anything…?”

“It’s the _suspense_ , onii-chan! You have to have a sense for these things!”

I threw my hands up in defeat, and then Gou squished her eyes shut, and tapped the screen. When the display’s glow slightly changed colour on her face, I watched as she gradually opened her eyes, until the selfie was beaming at her blank expression.

I studied for any change in her reaction, but for a whole half a minute, she was just…staring. At the pic.

“Uh,” I crawled over to where she was still staring. “Is everything okay or what _the everliving fuck_ ―?!”

I clapped my hands over my sister’s eyes on reflex, but we were both frozen _to the fucking spot_ as I gulped.

That.

The thing.

The thing I saw on my screen that _that_ **_that_** was not it THAT was _NOT_ the selfie I took of Haru and me that was Haru by himself in his house with an _apron_ nothing but an _apron_ what the _fu_ ―?!

“Onii-chan,” she turned to me solemnly, and I was just trying not to _spontaneously combust_ at the apron and the muscles and the skin and the _goddamn apron_ but she kept talking like—“Don’t let Nanase-kun go, okay?”

“ _Don’t give me that_ ―!!” I ripped my phone out of her open hands, and mine were shaking like I was stuck in the freezing fucking Arctic. I couldn’t even _blink_ at Haru’s poker-face, ladle-holding, apron-clad-only, weirdly-hot, _stupid, stupid_ selfie. “This― _This isn’t the shot I took of him, okay_ ―?!”

“I understand,” she patted my shoulder. “Your conversations with your boyfriend should be private, after all.”

“We’re not, _we’re not together_ , I just, holy _shi_ ―!” I nearly clawed my goddamn face off, before coming back to my frazzled senses and punching out another reply.

> wTF WAS THAT  
>  **✔ Sent**

He was typing and I was on the verge of dying who gave him the _right_ to be so unashamedly WEIRD to send me an APRON NUDE _WHY_ —

> i couldn't find the other one

“Bull-fucking- _shit_!” I garbled. I sent my next fluster-fuelled text.

> WHT DO YOU MEAN YOU COULDNT FIND THE OTHER ONE  
>  **✔ Sent**

> it was easier to take a new one and send it to you

“Fuckin’ _Christ_ what the hell…?!” I hissed.

> COULDN’T YUO AT LEAST PUT SOMETHING ELSE ON BESIDES YOUR FCKIN APRON? ? **✔ Sent**

“You should calm down, onii-chan,” Gou advised cheerily, and I just made sure I didn’t break my phone when it buzzed again.

> it’s ok  
>  i have a swimsuit on  
>  _Image attached_

It was of Haru’s bottom half. He had black jammers with purple highlights on.

So he did.

“ _Amazing!_ ” Gou went wild over that selfie. I was too busy with my bones turning to jelly on the computer chair. “Nanase-kun has lovely quadriceps! Oh, but I think his charm point would definitely be his forearms there in the background!” she paused for a moment, and I felt her hand joggle my back. “Onii-chan? _Oniiii_ -chan? Your face is really red; do you have a cold—?”

I wordlessly plucked my phone out of her hands. I don’t know how, but eventually I managed to hit ‘send’ on my response.

> nice dolphin  
>  **✔ Sent**

’Cause his apron had a dolphin.

“Is that all you’re going to say?” she peeked at my screen. But then I just pocketed my phone.

“Yeah. I think I’m gonna pass out on my bed now,” I mumbled, staggering to my feet and hobbling out of her bedroom. “Wake me up when mom’s home.”

“Will do!” she giggled, like she didn’t just see Haru half-naked.

I pulled out some sweatpants to sleep in and mechanically changed out of my shark shirt and jeans. I didn’t unpack anything before I just collapsed on my bed, and buried my hot face into my pillow. I didn’t even know how long I slept—all I know that the prelude was filled with Haru’s stupidly toned apron-swimsuit-ed body, and some sinning part of me that was much more glad than mortified.

“Fuckin’ _slay_ me why don’t you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyo :D and sorry 8D
> 
> so, uh, i _am_ alive, praise be. i just had a massssssive writer's block, but when i restarted writing, school started, and, well, so did work ;-;
> 
> this one's 008.1 bc in truth, i have another 5K words of this done, but the _whole_ chapter itself isn't done, soooo that will come out in due time hopefully :) for now i hope this is alright!


	12. Chapter 008 (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroine rests up at home. Meanwhile, the sidekick might have his own romance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i swear next chap they'll be back at school to do time trials and this'll go somewhere till then enjoy one more filler thing (WHICH DOES kinda hint at some underlying plot stuff if you super squint but yeah enjoy)

Sure enough, my sis woke me up when my mom came back from the grocery store. Of course there had to be hugs and kisses all ’round, even though I’d barely regained my bearings from my distressed-arousal induced nap. I wasn’t about to deny my mom a hug from her latent-turned-blatant-ly gay son, though, so I let her machine-gun question me as she pleased.

“How are classes? Are you catching up well? Is Sou-kun doing fine? Did swim team tryouts start yet?”

“Classes are fine. Workload’s easy so far. Sousuke’s all good. Tryouts are gonna be on the Monday back.”

“Good, good!” she clapped her hands, and looked between me and Gou. “Now, I’m going to go make steak for us. It’s going to take a little while, so you two can do whatever you need to for about half an hour or so!”

“Oh, that’s right,” I hung my hand around my nape. “I oughta go for my daily run ’bout now…”

“That should be perfect before dinner,” my mom nodded with approval, and then turned to my sis. “What about you, sweetie? Do you have any homework you have to do?”

“Maths…” she reported, grimacing. “Onii-chan, help me soon, okay?”

“Alright, alright…” I sighed, though didn’t swat her away from tugging at my elbow. “I’ll run, shower, and help you out after we eat.”

“Lovely!” my mom chimed, just as Gou poked her tongue out at me and headed into her room. “You go put some clothes on and go for your run, and I’ll make you a nice steak, RinRin.”

“Mom, don’t _call_ me that. M’not a lil baby anymore.”

“But you’ll always be my baby, RinRin!”

“Mom…!”

I whined and grumbled at the stupid, kiddy, _girly_ nickname, but she only cooed and pinched my cheek and made me feel twelve again. My mom often did that to tease me, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I just wouldn’t let anyone else call me that.

And with how happy she looked, I didn’t have the heart to plan when I was telling her I liked Haru, either.

* * *

I’d gotten out of the house as soon as I’d threw on my running spandex, clothes and strapped on my fingerless running gloves. Just as I was tying up my hair, the music from my earphones faded to a guitar, country ringtone.

I clicked the receiver on my earphone wire. “Yo, Sousuke.”

“ _Yo,_ ” he greeted back, and I took the time to stretch up to the sky and then try to reach my toes. “ _Everything good?_ ”

“I told Gou, so halfway there I guess,” I answered, doing some on-the-spot lunges. “She wanted to see pictures.”

“ _You had pictures to show?_ ”

“Hey, I got Nanase’s number and snapchat on the walk home,” I grinned while leaning down, pressing down my knee to stretch the back of it out. “You said to get his digits, yeah?”

“ _That I did,_ ” I could hear his smile. “ _I’m guessing you’re about to run._ ”

“Yeah, m’stretching right now, actually,” I grunted, before standing back to pivot my toes to get my ankles limber. “You wanted to talk?”

“ _Nah, just felt like checking up on you._ ”

“How sweet,” I chuckled through a grin, before starting to jog on the spot. “Could talk when I’m done, though, if half an hour’s okay.”

“ _…Yeah, why not,_ ” he decided. I guessed he was considering how much work he had to do, or something. “ _See you then._ ”

“See ya.”

After hanging up, I broke into a run.

* * *

I was already working up a sweat two minutes in, but that was only because my body had become so accustomed to my daily workout rather than actually being fatigued. My weight plodded against the stone pavement, and my vision was full of soft, deep blues from the evening taking over the streets I hammered through.

My breaths tore in and out of my throat as I went through the strange, customary feeling that goes with running―like my brain was jumping between moments, and my fast, thumping music started to drag like sludge, like my very pace made it slow down.

I also reached some weird zen mode when I ran. Of course there was a runner’s high that was steadily building while I pumped my legs, but I found myself thinking of random points in my life when passing the odd landmark here or there. I ran by a bus stop where one of my younger fans had confessed to me, and my fists involuntarily clenched at the memory of having to turn her down. I turned the corner where Sousuke used to live, ages ago when we were in late primary and were able to hang out when we pleased through a two minute walk, and my feet quickened at the flashes of beetle-catching, ice cream-chomping, soda-sloshing days of our childhood in Sano fuelling my flame. My trainers skidded across a little pipe fixture that Gou once tripped over when we first moved here after I graduated from primary school, and I remembered carrying her around and dressing her tiny wound even though she was just fine.

At some point I passed by Haru’s house on my run, and my chest went irresponsibly warm.

Though I didn’t hang about all too long, or at all, even…I kinda wished that he’d come out, or spotted me or something.

A strong guitar strummed in my music—a solid tune by Daughtry that I often ran to. Though this time ’round I actually tuned into the lyrics, and my thoughts strayed back to Haru, smiling.

By the time the last lyric faded out, my focus snapped back to the present. I found myself at the corner of a street—the one where I took that accidental detour on the first day of school—and for some reason beyond fatigue, I paused to catch my breath, and blankly stare down the avenue to the empty park.

I plucked my earphones out to realise the silent air of the night, punctuated by rattling crickets and the faraway clatters of houses setting up for dinner or whatever else homes did in the blink of yellow lights against the navy night. It felt like I was suspended in a daze when I languidly wrapped my phone up with the earphone cord, almost dreamlike when I took off again, the wind colder on my sweat, the soothing ambience of the evening following my steps.

I went down the path that approached the public garden, where the cherry blossom trees lining the sides were still and subdued below the star-dotted sky. My jogging slowed when I found the fence gates lazily swinging open, and the wind picked up when I entered the courtyard. My pupils shrunk from the moonlight breaking through the grey cloud cover, scattering across onto the earth so it made the grand cherry blossom oak glow. I couldn’t help knock my head back to the sky, feeling the air cool the sweat on my body, a smile inching across my lips while I took in every sprinkled pinpoint of light.

Even though everything was dimmer, quieter, calmer, I was in the that spot again. The same spot where I stared up at the beautiful cherry blossom, and the same spot where I heard Haru tread across the courtyard. I remembered being all sorts of freaked and confused when I caught him staring at me, all the way to and beyond him plucking that cherry blossom out of my hair.

In the end, though, I suppose was more mesmerised than anything.

I got so into the moment that I nearly jumped when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

I thought Gou had texted me when I clicked open my phone. When I saw a snapchat notification with nanaharu630 glowing white in the dark, a surge of warmth overtook my body.

I blinked once at my lockscreen before my jittery thumb kicked into gear, pressing and swiping till I reached the snapchat timer filling with pink. I wondered what Haru had found so worthwhile to snap me about, just before I opened it up. When I saw the countdown in the top right was 24 seconds, I couldn’t help an excited ‘ooh’ with the raised brow and lilted voice—maybe Haru using snapchat would be a thing from now on.

Each one went on for six seconds, and the first one—oh god, the first one was of his apron while he was still wearing it, captioned ‘ _thanks_ ’. It was focused on the dolphin swimming on the dark blue material, so I figured it was for before when I said he had a nice dolphin.

I wondered just how low I’d sunk if seeing Haru’s clavicle teasing the top of the frame made me wanna cry, but then the next one came up as a hi-def slab of mackerel sizzling on a frying pan.

‘ _\+ miso for dinner_ ’.

I gave a mix of a groan and a chuckle at how much a _dork_ he was. Before I could wonder if he was physically capable of consuming or cooking anything else, the next snap flashed the thoroughly grilled mackerel on a clean, white plate with some seasoning and a bowl of rice. I could even see the tops of Haru’s knees under the kotatsu it was on, and almost snorted at how he drew a yellow glow around the mackerel, like it was saying ‘ta-dah’! As for the caption—

‘’

…How could I even find a clapping/praying/itadaku emoji remotely cute?

The pic was mouth-watering, yeah, but—the runner’s high must’ve gotten to my head. I mean it was just an emoji of _hands,_ why would I think it was so goddamn _cute_ that Haru was using one—?

The next pic came on before I could wonder how just far gone I was. It was the same plate, but this time with the neat skeleton of the sorry mackerel he’d left no other trace of. Yeah, it wasn’t riveting, but it made me happy enough that Haru was getting a kick out of snapping his fish. I shook my head with a small sigh before tapping to the last snap he sent.

Imagine my confusion when I saw myself.

It took a blink to realise that the snap was when I was outside his house—it was high-angle and I was a little small in the frame. I could tell it was me with the neon highlights in my running gear, but even with the scarce light the picture was crystal-clear. It must’ve been the quality of Haru’s camera that enabled him to take such a hi-def shot of me running past. Instead of my hands and feet, though, he’d drawn on grey shark fins—he even replaced my lil ponytail with a tiny fin.

‘ _shark spotted_ ’

Seriously, what were the odds of him trying out his snapchat and happening to catch me run by?

Even though it felt a little fried, my brain was still quick. I’d passed by Haru’s house about five minutes ago, give or take. While thinking about how long it must’ve taken for him to doodle on me, I imagined him concentrating with his outstretched finger and drawing meticulously, and pouting while thinking about what caption to send me, sitting back and wearing that apron —

 _Not_ wearing that apron! I meant in full, normal clothing! Probably a t-shirt and some shorts, _not_ a dolphin apron or tight jammers, not at _all_ , not—

No dolphin.

I raked the roots of my hair and stared imploringly at the cherry blossom.

“ _Goddammit_ , Haru…”

I shoved my earphones back in, tuned up some jam and ran my perverted ass home.

* * *

After taking a shower, I’d thrown on a loose tank and some shark-y pyjama pants before freshening up and helping out Gou with some quadratic equations. It had been straightforward enough, so I went back in my room to relax soon after. Of course, it didn’t have nearly as much stuff as during the summer, but all pillows and blankets were left untouched. It made a solid lazing fort as I continued where I left off with Sousuke on the phone; I updated him with everything I’d done on the walk home with Haru—the scene with the cat, Haru’s technological illiteracy and his fascination with drawing on snapchat (which was so goddamn _endearing_ holy _shit_ ).

I mentioned in passing about the pictures he sent me before and during my run (leaving out the apron-swimsuit parts), and basically ended up as a sighing puddle of teenage _feels_ on my bed as I thought of Haru’s hidden, brilliant smile.

“Like, _shit_ , Sousuke!” I gushed to the ceiling, well aware that he’d put his phone on his desk and that I was probably speaking into his earphones. “Getting Haru’s snapchat was the best idea in fuckin’ _ever_. Just—” I tried to shake the grin off my face, but no dice. I just rolled around a bit and made some garbled noise.

“ _Tell me you closed your door._ ”

“Hm?” I craned my neck up, and plopped my head back with a nod. “Yup, s’closed. Why?”

“ _Thought someone would hear how embarrassing you are_.”

“Oi, _shut up_ ,” I grumbled, tossing around so I laid my midriff on my stack of blankets, cushions, and whatever else. “Just ’cause I’ve someone I like doesn’t mean I’m a complete moron, y’know…”

“Are you talking about Nanase-kun, onii-chan?”

“— _GOU_?!” I spun ’round, fumbling with my phone like it’d turned into a wet bar of soap.

She just smiled sweetly as if she hadn’t scared the crap out of me. “You said someone you like. So it’s Haru-kun, right?”

“Well, _yeah_ , but—” I gritted my teeth, coveting my phone like Gou was about to steal it from me, or something. “Never mind that! Since when were you standing there, anyway?!”

“Ah, you really are high-strung, aren’t you?” she giggled at the now-open doorway, and I just started recovering from my panicked breathing. “Mom just told me to tell you that dinner’s ready. Don’t worry—I couldn’t hear anything till I opened the door!”

“G…Good…” I sighed in absolute relief, letting my body rest on the bed again with a satisfying _flump_. “Just tell Mom I’ll be out in a few. ’M on the phone with Sousuke.”

“Sure!” she nodded diligently, and spun on her heel.

“Close the door…!” I called after her. When I heard the knob click properly, I nestled myself back into my nest of sheets, huffing a bit before bringing the phone back to my ear. “Yo, Sousuke. You still there?”

“ _…You know I had headphones in, right?_ ”

“Oh, shit,” I sat up, the bed shifting underneath my weight. I’d yelled pretty loudly just then. “You okay?”

“ _I think one of my eardrums still work,_ ” he groaned.

“Ah crap, sorry,” I rubbed my hair sheepishly. “I really didn’t know Gou was listening in on that last part.”

“ _S’alright_ ,” he reassured me, probably with a shrug I couldn’t see. “ _Nothing to do about it._ ”

“Guess so…” I sighed, letting my hand bounce onto the mattress before I looked out to the evening outside my bedroom window. The night looked like ink, with bits of stars here and there, so it looked like spilt salt on a black tablecloth. “…Anyway. Anything on your end you wanna tell me?”

“ _Nothing new, really,_ ” he brushed off, before pausing. “ _But, well…there’s that one thing._ ”

“Oh?” I puckered my lips in an interested ‘o’, looking up like I was about to try to whistle a tune I hadn’t before. “What’s up, what’s up?”

“ _S’nothing big,_ ” he insisted, and instantly I knew he’d been periodically mulling over this thing for a lil while now. “ _It’s just…you know after you left, right? To go walk home with Nanase?_ ”

“Yeah.” I did.

“ _Well, while I was waiting for my dad to pick me up,_ ” he explained, and inserted a lil, contemplative sigh. “ _…I helped a guy move._ ”

I frowned. “Oi, don’t get so vague with me. S’not like you.”

“ _I’m trying to word it,_ ” he explained in a gruff breath. So I let him think while I puffed my cheeks in impatience. “ _…I helped a guy move some furniture._ ”

“Ah, alright,” I nodded, pausing to study the shape of my feet, against the brown carpet of my bedroom. Then I frowned again. “You feel that good about it?”

“ _…Yeah,_ ” he admitted. I felt my eyebrows shoot onto my forehead. “ _Yeah, I do._ ”

“…Hm,” I pinched the ends of my bangs. “S’kinda weird.”

“ _Yeah. It is._ ”

…

“…D’you mean, like, _heavy_ furniture?”

“ _Mm,_ ” I could hear him nod. “ _It was pretty heavy, but me and the guy could handle it._ ”

“Oh. So, the guy helped you out, too?”

“ _Yup._ ”

“Oh. Right, then…” I looked to my bedroom door. “… _Wait_ , so why d’you feel so good about it?”

“ _I dunno,_ ” he admitted. I could already imagine him scratching his head. “ _It wasn’t like the guy couldn’t handle it, but…I went over to help, anyway._ ”

“Well, that’d be obvious,” I shrugged, feeling my shoulder push up when I laid to rest on my elbows. “Helpin’ someone out’s kinda the thing to do.”

“ _Yeah…_ ” he exhaled, sounding a bit tired. Or wistful, or something. He was acting weird. “ _He was pretty thankful, too._ ”

My lips pulled to my cheeks in a frown. “Is it this guy you’re getting hung up over?”

“ _…Maybe._ ”

“What, so it wasn’t some geezer you were lending a hand?” I cocked my head, using my hand to bring up my ankles in a cross-legged sit.

“ _No. It was…a guy about our age. Same height as me, about._ ”

I whistled. “ _Damn_ , that’s rare.”

“ _Yeah._ ”

…

Wait.

“Oi, wait a moment—don’t tell me,” I abruptly uncrossed my legs. “…Holy crap.”

“ _Hm?_ ” he hummed, but the pieces were all clicking in place at that point. I just fell back on the bed, rubbing my forehead as I blinked up at the ceiling. “ _Rin?_ ”

Sousuke…for this _guy_ …

_Did Sousuke actually—_

“ _Holy crap!_ ” I shot back up again, and started drumming my feet against the carpet. “ _Hoooooly_ crap holy crap holy cra- _haap_ …!”

“ _What?_ ”

“No way no way there’s no fuckin’ _way_ —”

“ _What, Rin_ _?_ ”

“—You’re acting weird as hell, what d’you _think_?!” I said, almost accusing, but a teasing smile burst across my face. “What, was this guy a _model_ or something~?”

I expected some response like ‘ _don’t be an idiot_ ’, but instead I got a lengthy pause.

“ _…Y’know…he might’ve been._ ”

Huh?

“ _Don’t get me wrong, but the guy was good-looking, for sure,_ ” Sousuke reasoned, his voice completely blank of any particular emotion other than mild confusion. “ _Hm…I dunno, really._ ”

 _Huh_?

“ _After I helped him out, though, I thought I saw an angel._ ”

 _HUHHHH_?!

“Oi oi oi, Sousuke,” my eyes darted like we were dealing in illicit wares or firearms or something that just turned really _shady_. “Don’t tell me this _bromo_ thing’s actually a _thing_ , now!”

“ _Hm?_ ” Bastard, I could hear him tilt his _dense_ head…! “ _What do you mean, Rin?_ ”

“Don’t ‘ _hm_ ’ me, _you got the hots for this guy_?!” I whisper-yelled into the phone. “It’s not even dinner yet, and you _like_ someone?”

“ _Like?_ ” he hummed. “ _…I wouldn’t say like._ ”

“Then what’s with you being all wishy-washy with this guy being some model angel, or whatever?!” I asked, wishing he was there so I could shake some goddamn sense into him. “Sousuke, this is the first time you’ve ever been all confused over someone like this!”

“ _…Yeah. That’s true._ ”

I slapped my own face, dragging it down while wondering how goddamn hopeless Sousuke was. “Man, fuckin’— _honestly_ , y’oughta give a guy a warning when you spring shit like this outta the blue, y’know?!”

“ _Well, doesn’t matter,_ ” he shrugged, I’m guessing. “ _I probably won’t see him again anyway._ ”

“Hey, don’t say that. You guys might see each other again,” I suggested, running my fingers through my hair as I recalled the brief time I thought I’d never pass by any petal-picker again. “There’s no telling what could happen.”

He chuckled; the throaty sound carried well over my phone. “ _Always a romantic swimming maniac._ ”

“Shuddup. Anyway, don’t think you’re gonna just get away with dropping a bombshell like this, y’know! I want some more details after this!” I demanded, my pout growing when he laughed again. “Hey, seriously, this is _huge_ , man! You’ve never liked anyone before!”

“ _True…I guess that means I’m a late bloomer like you_ ”

“Eh, it’s not timing that’s important,” I shrugged, waving my hand dismissively. “That shit matters when it matters, and it matters now.”

“Rin, sweetie?” I heard my door click open, and saw my mom poking her head through. “The steak will get cold if you don’t come out soon.”

“Right, coming!” I pushed myself up, and whispered conspiratorially into my phone like it was some walkie-talkie. “Just—tell me what’s up, yeah? It’s about time I returned the favour for you putting up with my bullshit for the past week anyway.”

“ _Right, right,_ ” he sighed, like I was nagging him or something. “ _I gotta go feed Kachi anyway. Talk to you later._ ”

“Yeah, you better,” I scoffed, letting him chuckle over the line before hanging up. Kachi was his pet piglet (who’s the fucking cutest fuzzball on the planet) who never grew from all the food he ate ’cause of how much he loved to scurry around.

…So…

Sousuke liked this guy, huh?

It didn’t feel like so much of a shock, when I’d figured that was the reason he was acting all weird—really, who called some random dude an _angel_? I mean, I sometimes thought Haru looked a bit like a prince at some angles…in some lighting…in my head, mostly.

So, for Sousuke to call someone an angel—I could figure out why. It made sense, that he had to have admired the guy’s looks…

I think.

In the end, I was as clueless as Sousuke. But it wasn’t like we couldn’t figure something out together, eventually, even if he’d just met the guy. Still, I couldn’t help but find it weird, just after I ran by the place where we’d race to see who could get to the pool faster when we were dumb, gap-toothed kids, I hung up with the knowledge that Sousuke was remotely liking someone for the first time.

It was like suddenly realising I wasn’t a little kid anymore, again.

* * *

“Hehh…” I sighed out to the ceiling, before throwing myself outta bed and headed for the dining room. “No point gettin’ all nostalgic, now.”

“What’s this I’m hearing?” my mom piped up from the table, which was pretty much a square from just needing to seat the three of us.

“Nothing much,” I shrugged, parking myself in front of my placemat and meal. “Just ran by some old places, felt a bit old.”

My mom let out a healthy, kind laugh. I pursed my lip in some sheepishness realising what I just said to my middle-aged mother of two—even Gou got in some good chuckling. “My goodness, it must be serious, then!”

“Yeah, yeah…” I rolled my eyes with a small smile, before picking up my fork and knife and got a good whiff of my mom’s mouth-watering steak. The outside looked a firm brown from grill marks, but the centre was a healthy, soft pink that already made my head spin. “Man, this looks great, Mom!”

“I made it just how you like it, darling,” she assured with her affectionate mom-look. “Medium-rare, and all buttered with extra pepper.”

I stabbed a thick chunk I’d cut off, and sure enough it was as succulent as it had looked. “Damn, this is _perfect_. I always love your cooking—so much better than the stuff we get at school.”

“Well that’s a given! You’re used to my cooking, now; you’d like whatever I make,” my mom tittered; tiny laugh lines creased the corners of her eyes. She wore a deep red cardigan, with the hems of the sleeves pooling in her palms as she cupped her elbows, with her eyes alight with curiosity. “But how’s school treating you? Everything going well?”

I hummed in a long nod, still chewing on the taste-filled steak. “S’all good. Not much work yet, and first time trials are on Monday back.”

“Sou-kun will be joining too, right?”

“Course!” I grinned, and my mom beamed. I never outright said this, but it’s basically common knowledge that me and Sousuke were basically brothers. Anytime he’d walk through the door, my mom would greet him hug-first and food-second.

At any rate, my mom had set me off on an excited rant about the upcoming swimming competitions that we were gonna train for—prefecturals, regionals, then all the way to nationals. I wasn’t able to make it to nationals last year due to…setbacks. Namely in my own performance, and some stuff about the relay I don’t need to go into right now, but that was last year. This year, I knew that with my teammates, we were gonna go all out. And with the new first-years that would definitely be streaming in for the tryouts, the potential for a strong team was definitely there.

Especially considering Haru was gonna join…honestly, more than anything, that made me—

“Is that it?” my mom cut in my thoughts, making my eyes fly open. “You stopped talking all of a sudden, honey.”

“Oh, uh, that’s— _haha_ —” I laughed nervously before clearing my throat, and promptly redirected my sudden jumpiness into attacking my steak. “Just, thinking over what regimen I needa do with Sousuke!”

I forked some more steak in my mouth, and grinned completely un-suspiciously at my mom. She raised a brow at me, but I think I was safe.

“Alright…” she hummed, before cracking a small smile and looking over to Gou. “So what about you, sweetheart? How was school today?”

“I made a friend in Biology,” she said, smile gleaming. “We were paired up, and I got to talk to a girl I never got to know before! Otherwise, everything’s going the same as usual…”

“Well, it’s good that you got to make a friend,” my mom nodded. Now that she was content with Gou’s response, it was obviously my turn. “Now how about you? Have you met anyone new this year, or is it just you and Sou-kun joined at the hip as usual?”

“Y-Yeah, actually—!” I spoke up, and coughed my voice back to its normal, deeper pitch. “Yeah, I…met a new guy on the first day who’s, uh,” I ducked my head in a nod or two. “Pretty cool.”

“Really, now?” my mom asked, and when I looked up from my half-eaten steak she looked pleasantly surprised. “That’s great, honey! What’s he like? Oh, oh, what’s his name?”

“W-Wow, mom,” I chuckled, trying not to show how nervous I was getting over the prospect of talking about Haru. “Why d’you wanna know about this guy so much?”

“Rin, you haven’t made any friends outside of the swim team since you went to Sano Elementary,” my mom said matter-of-factly, and I couldn’t really argue with that. “This is the first time I’m hearing about you making a friend all by yourself!”

“D’you hafta word it like that…?” I sighed, but mom still looked at me expectantly, so I started to spill. “Well, I met him on the walk to school, since I accidentally took a detour—not that I was late for school or anything, but…”

So that’s how the ball got rolling. I left out all the remotely gay details, so the details were really watered down. I just met him in a courtyard, found out he was a transfer student, and got assigned to help him around. Y’know, stuff straight as an arrow.

“Oh—and his name’s Haruka, forgot to mention that earlier,”— _among many, many other things_ —“But he prefers to be called Haru. Yeah.”

“ _I see_ , I see,” my mom nodded attentively, before beaming again. “So Haru-kun has a girly name, like you, right?”

“Well, obviously…” I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head a bit. I started to feel oddly sheepish and giddy for some reason—probably because my mom was being so…what’s the word—?

“Your steak’s getting cold, sweetie,” my mom nudged her chin towards my plate.

“Oh,” I looked down at my steak, and blinked dumbly at the fact I hadn’t touched it for at least two minutes. “O-Oh, yeah. Right.”

I heard Gou giggle at the side, and tried to will away any blush that would out me in a heartbeat. I picked up my knife and fork again, and started to work at my dinner again. It went a little quiet again, with just clacking cutlery and all. Though my mom still looked at me expectantly as I chewed on a bite-sized cut of my steak.

“…So does Haru-kun like swimming, too?”

I didn’t choke, but I had to swallow my bite quicker than I’d expected. “M- _Mom_ , I’m eating! I’ll talk about him later…!”

“Alright, alright!” my mom leaned back, arms up in surrender but still smiling. Somehow, I felt like she got the better of me even though I’d gotten the topic to drop for a while, and stabbed my steak just a bit more petulantly than before.

… _Eager_. Yeah, that was the word.

* * *

“Right, Sousuke,” I set down my phone on my left, earphones in and call active while I drew out the pen from the spine of my journal. I flipped to the latest page for note paper, to refer to when I was gonna write up a full entry on how my stupid-ass best friend might’ve had a proper crush for the first time. “You better tell me every single detail your dense head can manage, otherwise I’m gonna—”

“ _I got it, I got it,_ ” Sousuke drawled over the phone. I was back in my bedroom, sitting at my desk with my completed homework at the side. In around half an hour I was gonna go to bed, which gave me some time to grill Sousuke on that model angel guy he was talking about earlier. “ _Why’re you so eager about this anyway?_ ”

“I’m eager enough for the both of us, now shut the fuck up and talk.”

“ _I can’t do both._ ”

“You know what I mean!” I blustered. I set my pen against the paper, completely serious as I hunched over my journal. “Alright, now spill. Tell me everything.”

“ _Jeez,_ ” I heard him sigh, and pinched my eyes at the fact he wasn’t _talking_. “ _You’re like some hardcore gossip girl—_ ”

“Everything!”

“ _Alright, alright,_ ” he relented, and my fingers started to buzz in excitement. “ _So, uh…this guy, he’s…_ ”

…

“…Yeah?” I prompted.

“ _He looked nice,_ ” he decided. “ _I guess._ ”

I felt a vein bulge in my forehead. After _half a minute_ , that was the crap that Sousuke gave me—?!

No, right. Deep breaths. Sousuke’d probably thought of this stuff even less than I had. S’alright.

“S’that it?” I chuckled, trying to keep it light rather than throttle the guy for information. “Don’t even remember what he looked like or anything?”

“ _Nah, I do…_ ” he said, and I heard a light scratching, which should’ve been him scratching his head. “ _He’d brown hair. Green eyes. Already said he was nearly as tall as me._ ”

“No, yeah, gotcha,” I replied mechanically, since I was busy jotting down what he’d described.

“ _And I remember his voice, kinda…_ ” he muttered, like he was talking to himself more than to me. “ _It sounded…sweet,_ ” he paused a moment. “ _S’kinda weird to call a guy’s voice sweet, but…yeah._ ”

“Yuh-huh,” I nodded, biting my lip out of some fun as I kept writing. So this was how Sousuke got when he liked someone…? If I didn’t know any better, the guy sounded nervous.

“ _And he looked buff,_ ” he remarked, sniffing casually. “ _He looked like he’d do backstroke. If he swum._ ”

“Backstroke?” I paused a moment, and kept writing again. “That’s kinda specific, dontcha think?”

He hummed. “ _Well, his back was shredded, so—_ ”

He stopped. My wrist jerked to a halt.

“…Hey, Sousuke,” I asked, completely blasé. “Did you just…swoon?”

“ _—Huh?_ ” he responded, _way_ too quickly. “ _I didn’t._ ”

He actually coughed—it was quiet, but I definitely heard it.

The _slyest_ grin crept along my face.

“ _So_ ,” I laid back, twirling my pen in my hand. “Nice _back_ , huh?”

“ _Rin—_ ”

“Gotta admit, Sousuke!” I swooped up my phone and spun lazily on my computer chair. “Never thought you’d be a _back_ type!”

“ _Oi—!_ ”

“I mean, there’s the _legs_ type and the _ass_ type, but I find it almost _unique_ that you’re a—”

“ _If you don’t shut up, I won’t talk anymore._ ”

I just let out a hearty laugh at Sousuke’s grumbling. “I’m teasing, I’m _teasing_!”

“ _Yeah, and I’m leaving._ ”

“ _Hey_ —c’mon, man! I’m sorry!” I apologised, but damn me I still found it funny as hell. I cleared my throat, and got as serious as I could. “I’m sorry. Really. Not gonna make any more fun of you, I promise.”

“ _…Alright. Fine,_ ” he let out a tired sigh. “ _I don’t even rib you that much when you talk about Nanase, y’know._ ”

“You’re right, s’my bad,” I rubbed my hair, feeling a mix of sheepish and shit-eating. “I guess I’m more used to rambling than listening.”

Sousuke scoffed, so at least he wasn’t too pissed. “ _Can’t argue with that._ ”

“Yeah…” I chuckled softly. Talking about Haru definitely made me all kinds of stupid. But reassured that Sousuke felt alright enough to talk again, I leaned back in my computer chair. One hand cradled my head and the other held my journal. “Alright, _so_. This guy’s got…” I traced my journal page, and tapped the start of my notes before murmuring. “Brown hairs, green eyes, decent height, sweet voice— _oh_ , nice back.”

“… _Rin_.”

“Can’t believe I almost forgot about that one—” I bit my tongue and scratched that down in the margin. “Yeah, Sousuke?”

“ _Are you writing this down?_ ”

I froze. Then I blinked, and glanced down at my chicken scratch.

“Uh…” I tried for my most endearing, innocent tone. “…No?”

“ _Bye._ ”

“Nononono, wait, _wait_ —!!”

Before I knew it, the line was cut, and I was grabbing the edge of my desk.

…

“Ah _shit_!” I fell back into my chair, my journal and pen clattering on the desk as I mashed the heel of my palms into my sockets.

The smirk was clear in Sousuke’s tone, so I knew I hadn’t pissed him off. The problem was he got off scot-free, and I’d barely _any_ details for my entry.

“How’m’I supposed to write this one, then?” I groaned to myself, lacing my fingers and then putting them on top of my head. "Do I hafta wait until Monday, or take what I can—”

Two gentle knocks at the door made me jolt in my seat.

“Onii-chan?” Gou popped her head through the door. “You’re being loud again.”

I immediately relaxed, and grunted in response. I was still thinking what to cram in my journal for that night. “Yeah. Sorry.” I thought that would’ve been the end of it, but she didn’t quite leave after that. In fact, her ponytail kinda dangled when she tilted her head. “Hm? Something the matter?”

“Well…” she peeked down at her fish patterned slippers, and lightly scuffed the floor. “There’s a movie I’ve been wanting to see, and it’s coming out tomorrow,” she admitted, and she looked up at me again. “Could we watch it together?”

“Oh? Yeah, sure,” I ruffled my hair a bit. “Don’t see why not.” I puffed out a breath of a laugh when she lit up, and decided that my journal problems could wait. “You wanna hang out a bit before we sleep?”

Well now she was glowing. “Sure!”

I felt a little better when she hopped on over to my bed and made herself comfy. Then she hugged a pillow. “ _So_. You wanna talk about Nanase-kun~?”

“No,” I shot her a weak glare, but I ended up going red in the face anyway. “…Well, _now_ I kinda do, but—”

“Great!”

I didn’t know what absolute resignation really felt like till I sighed long and hard. “Jeez, what am I gonna do with you…?”

“You’re gonna share with me!” she answered without missing a beat. Then she paused, and her jaw dropped, and my lips pulled in some dread. That was her ‘idea face’.

“What is it now…?”

“We should invite _Nanase-kun_!” she announced, glowing so bright I almost had to look away. “It’s a romantic movie, too! Think about it: you’ll be sitting right next to each other in a big, dark room where no one else will be looking at you!”

Her words made me imagine the situation: me and Haru sitting next to each other in a big, dark room, where everyone else would be focusing on the movie. Reaching for popcorn, or using the same armrest, then hands brushing. Yawning, casually draping arm over shoulder. Looking away during the scary or sad moments into the others shoulder. Watching a kiss on-screen and then glancing to the side out of second-hand embarrassment, and accidentally making eye contact with those clear, blue eyes…

My lips clamped together, and I felt the pressure go all the way to my ears. I hugged my knees to my chest, and buried my burning face into them.

“Aww,” Gou leaned over and patted my head. “You’re so cute, onii-chan!”

“Leave me alone…” I muttered, still trying to calm down my overactive inner romantic. “It’s only been a _week_. It’s a thousand years too early to try to ask Haru out on a date.”

“Don’t worry,” I looked up, and Gou pressed a thumb to her chest in pride. “I’ll be there as a buffer. Your wing-girl!”

I pulled a face at her. “Who would want their baby sister as a wing-girl…?”

“ _You_ if you’re thinking about asking Nanase to come with us to the movies,” she puffed her cheeks, and started shaking my shoulders a bit. “Now come on and text Nanase-kun. At least _try_!”

“A-Alright, alright…” I relented, trying to swallow down my embarrassment and rising giddiness. Granted, it wouldn’t hurt to just ask—Haru lived close and watching a movie with someone would be normal. I still had reservations about the fact that it was a _romantic_ one, but I pulled out my phone and shot a few messages.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  hey  
>  so there’s a movie coming out tmw that’s supposed to be good  
>  and my sis and i were thinking of going to see it  
>  wanna come with?  
>  **✔ Sent**

I bit my lip, looking over my messages. To make it safe, I added a little smiley.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  :)  
>  **✔ Sent**

“ _There._ Sent.” I frowned at Gou, who was _still_ grinning. “You happy now?”

“The happiest!”

“Honestly…” My sigh was as long as my suffering. Though that didn’t mean I spent a moment changing up Haru’s bland display name to ‘married2mackerel’ “Well, I guess I’ll just wait for Haru’s reply then—”

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and the message tone rung out. Even Gou raised her brows.

“Already?”

“He’s fast, isn’t he?” I scratched my head before pulling out my phone, though my hand and chest were shaking a bit out of anticipation. But then I read the message.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  no.  
>  i already said i was busy this weekend

“…So?” she prompted me gently. “What did Nanase-kun say?”

“He said…” my brows drew together. I didn’t know if he actually meant to sound that pissed, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit upset at how his message was worded. “He can’t make it.”

“Oh,” Gou sunk back onto her calves. “That’s a shame.”

“Yeah…” I ran my fingers through my hair, still frowning at how Haru seemed pissed in that text. I mean, I did forget that he said he was busy during the weekend, but that wasn’t any reason to go off like that, right?

It looked like Gou was going to ask me what was wrong, and my phone buzzed again.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  sorry

I half-pouted. You know, the kind of face you make when you’re disappointed, but you can’t really be mad, so you kinda draw your lip to the side. I let out an exhale and typed out a reply.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  nah it’s fine  
>  you did say you were busy  
>  **✔ Sent**

“Is everything okay?” Gou finally asked.

“S’fine…” I looked to her absently, but went back to wrap up my text.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  you okay?  
>  **✔ Sent**

I backtracked a bit when the seen receipt popped up as soon as I’d sent the text, and tried not to think about it too hard. I reasoned that Haru probably didn’t mean to sound that rude, and thought something was eating away at him. I worried about that in the background while I continued to chat with Gou about when the movie would be, and about what English homework she needed help with, and advice she needed on spearheading a club.

“I’m thinking of being a club manager…” she knocked her head side to side in thought. “But I don’t know which one to take on,” she hummed, before she put on a silly expression. “The basketball club has lovely looking muscles~”

“Oi,” I growled, more at the imaginary basketball players that would probably hit on my baby sister than at Gou herself. “There’s no need to do that.”

“But onii-chan!” she gasped, and my phone buzzed with another message. I picked it up while she was squeezing my pillow. “ _Muscles~!_ ”

> **married2mackerel**  
>  i’m fine

I chewed my lip out of worry, and rubbed my nape at the stilted messages. If he’d seen my text nearly twenty minutes prior, he could’ve told me he was fine sooner. Then I realised I was acting like some over-analytical girlfriend, and quickly shoved my phone back in my pocket.

Gou was sitting on the edge of my bed, lazily rocking her feet in a midair backstroke kick. “Nanase-kun again?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged, and glanced at the time on my bedside clock. “Hey, it’s nearly ten. You oughta go to bed now.”

“Alright…” she pouted, but got off my bed anyway. “You have to too, okay? Don’t stay up texting Nanase-kun.”

“I _won’t_ ,” I rolled my eyes at my sister’s tease, and swivelled around in my chair when she giggled.

I stiffened out of surprise when she came up from behind to hug me, but relaxed soon enough. “Good night, onii-chan.”

I hid my fond smile, and just ruffled the top of her head a bit. “G’night, Gou.”

Chalk it up to uncanny timing, but as soon as my bedroom door clicked shut, my phone went off again. It was Haru again.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  i’m looking forward to swimming on monday

I had to admit the suddenness of the text made me surprised—mentioning Monday was a bit out of the blue. I decided to at least get in bed before continuing to text him, but of course in that timeframe Haru had to follow up that random text with an emoji rather than some explanation.

> **married2mackerel**  
> 

I couldn’t help a giggle. It wasn’t like I wasn’t excited for Monday, either.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  me too!  
>  :D  
>  what stroke are you gonna do?  
>  **✔ Sent**

I made myself comfy and pulled up my blankets. I’d already turned off the bedroom light—it was just the desk light on right now that I could stretch over and turn off anytime I wanted to. I put my phone on mute, and went back to my messaging app.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  i only swim free  
>  didn’t you see the emoji?  
> 

Okay, I snorted at that.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  what sort of reasoning’s that?  
>    
>  but you don’t swim any other stroke?  
>  **✔ Sent**

I dimmed the brightness all the way down so my eyes wouldn’t sting, and Haru was back to quick-fire responses.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  no
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  that’s a bit weird isn’t it…?  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  not really

I raised a brow. I kept forgetting how straightforward of a guy Haru was.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  fair enough  
>  you not gonna ask me what i’m gonna try out for?  
>  **✔ Sent**

I could feel my arms getting a bit sore, so I propped up my pillows so I didn’t crick my neck as I sat up more comfortably.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  what are you going to try out for?
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  well if we’re gonna do it your way then it’d be  
>    
>  and  
>    
>  **✔ Sent**

After a little pause, Haru was typing again.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  freestyle and butterfly
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  yeah, you got it!  
>  :D  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  just use a butterfly emoji

I thought that was obvious, but spelled it out anyway.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  there’s no butterfly emoji…  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  there isn’t?

There was another pause.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  there isn’t  
>  :o

I held back another laugh. For some reason Haru plus emoji didn’t seem to fit at all in my mind.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  why’s that so surprising?  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  i thought there was an emoji for everything  
>  i was wrong

I imagined Haru scrolling through his emoji page marvelling at the extent of online expression through emoji, and I couldn’t help but be completely amused and endeared by that mental image.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  as if there’d be an emoji for everything!!  
>    
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  don’t laugh at me

I laughed at him.

We kept talking about emoji. I don’t even use emoji that much, but we just kept chatting about it. I even made up a Haru emoji.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  hey haru  
>  (ㅎ.ㅎ)  <— it’s you  
>  **✔ Sent**

I waited for his response.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  ! ☆o☆  
>  amazing

I had to clap my hand over my mouth to stop the giggles bursting through—it was nearly midnight—but did Haru actually send me a _starry-eyed_ face over some emoji I whipped together? Before I could poke fun at him, though, he sent me a series of texts.

> **married2mackerel**  
>  rin look  
>  (σﾉ､σ)  
>  i made you  
>  (ㅎoㅎ)
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  that’s not me!  
>  that looks so stupid!  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  …  
>  that’s mean
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  what??  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  i worked hard on that rin emoji
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  it took you less than a minute…  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  use it
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  lol no  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  haru  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  oh come on  
>  DON’T SPAM ME WITH YOU  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  use it  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  DONT USE MY OWN EMOJI AGAINST ME  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  rin  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ) (ㅎ-ㅎ) (ㅎ-ㅎ) use the rin emoji (ㅎ-ㅎ) (ㅎ-ㅎ) (ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  (σﾉ､σ)  
>  it’s waiting
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  LIKE HELL IT IS  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  who the fuck even taught you how to copy paste so fast???  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  i learned  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)  
>  it’s not hard  
>  using the rin emoji isn’t hard either  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  omg  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  (ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)(ㅎ-ㅎ)
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  HOLY SHIT  
>  FINE  
>  (σﾉ､σ)  
>  THERE ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ??  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  (ㅎ‿ㅎ)  
>  thank you
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  you’re un ducking believable  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  ?
> 
> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  *fckign  
>  * ducking  
>  *fucking  
>  **✔ Sent**
> 
> **married2mackerel**  
>  that’s rude  
>  (ㅎoㅎ)

This was the dumbass I stayed up that whole Saturday night chatting to. I found my fingers gliding over the keyboard in an almost dreamlike state, until I registered what I’d actually typed out.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  i like you wa y too much

I blushed, and quickly backspaced before I accidentally hit send.

> **☆ rin ☆**  
>  shut the duck up  
>  **✔ Sent**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i headcanon haru can get the hang of technology when he bothers to try, and would be unreasonably fascinated with the tiny pieces of art dubbed 'emoji' vuv


End file.
